S\o how do you come up with seminary payment ?

amother

cornflower

Mon, Mar 04 2024, 11:49 am

amother OP wrote:

Still wondering if anyone could give me numbers of amounts they paid after fafsa ect. We are poor and I would love for my girls to get that same amazing experience I got in seminary ...

I can give you some real numbers from when my daughter went 2 years ago:

Original seminary tuition: $25,500 (due to inflation I assume it is now higher, but I double checked and that was the amount on the tuition contract)
Seminary discount: $7,500. I called right after after she was accepted, told the seminary she was accepted to two and really wants to go there but we can't afford full tuition, and they gave us a reduction.
Local Federation scholarship for year abroad in Israel (we live OOT and she had to write an essay and submit an application for this): $2,500
MASA: $1,400 (yes, I know this does not apply to every sem, but did for the one she went to)
TOTAL PAID: $14,100

My daughter paid for her flight, extra shopping before she left and spending $$ in Israel for the full year. She had worked during the summers from age 13 to save up for this as she knew from her Bas Mitzvah that if she wanted to go, we would take care of tuition but the rest would be her responsibility.

Overall, we made it work. I was paying about $10,000/year for her in tuition all through high school, so not that much more and she did get a full year of college credit. Had she stayed home, we would have been paying for a frum college program and it would have cost more!

Note we are middle class with two working parents and not eligible for Pell grant through FAFSA.

BH she had a wonderful, growth-filled year and we do not regret it one bit.

amother

Denim

Mon, Mar 04 2024, 11:55 am

amother cornflower wrote:

That's amazing.
Our story of a middle class family in NYC:
Total $27K
Seminary discount - 0. We asked and we're refused. She was accepted only to one seminary, wait listed to another.
Local Federation - 0 no such thing in NYC
MASA - 0 our seminary isn't on the list
FAFSA - $250 per year

Total paid $26,750

amother

Mistyrose

Mon, Mar 04 2024, 11:58 am

While it is definitely a lot of money I want to point out that for many high school is 15000 or more so it isn't as big a jump as it sounds (I'm
In Passaic and it's around that at the most yeshivish high school and around 20000 at the next most ). Also if your daughter was going to go to
Touro - as many are- it counts as a year and Touro is about that much too- so while it's a lot of money it isn't 24000 vs nothing, it's less than 10000 more than high school- possibly only 5000 more and it counts as a year of college which is about the same amount of money. Many use their own money for spending money of the flight if their parents need them to.

amother

Slateblue

Mon, Mar 04 2024, 12:00 pm

amother Mistyrose wrote:

I'm thinking that those struggling with the cost of sem are not paying full tuition for all their kids in high school and elementary.

amother

Lightgray

Mon, Mar 04 2024, 12:19 pm

I would like to add a point that no one seems to have said yet. I believe seminary has its place. The principle behind the Bais Yaakov movement was that we need to give our girls intellectual stimulation through Torah so that they understand that Torah is deep and real and are motivated to live Torah true lives. The seminary I went to allowed me to learn Torah on a level that I had not been exposed to previously and gave me a wonderful foundation going into life. This was especially important as I came home to attend a rigorous college and doctorate program in the secular world. I am very glad that my secular education was not my only opportunity to use my mind.
Moreover, it’s very easy to lose oneself in the haze of motherhood and raising young children and it’s helpful to have a solid foundation in why I believe in this lifestyle.
High schools are more of a one size fits all institution and they for the most part can’t cater to the girls who want to learn on a higher level.
Chassidim don’t believe in the whole bais yaakov premise altogether, that’s why they don’t send to seminary.
That being said, I don’t believe in party seminaries or think it’s something people should be going into debt for.

Bnei Berak 10

Mon, Mar 04 2024, 12:41 pm

amother Lightgray wrote:

In your opinion, do sems have to be in Israel? Can an American sem be as good as an Israeli?

amother

cornflower

Mon, Mar 04 2024, 12:48 pm

Bnei Berak 10 wrote:

In your opinion, do sems have to be in Israel? Can an American sem be as good as an Israeli?

I think there are advantages for a Jewish girl (or boy) to have the opportunity to live and study for a year in EY, but seminaries (and yeshivas) don't have to be in Israel. For me personally, I am happy to do whatever I can to provide this learning and growing experience for my children, and it can be done anywhere around the world. The point is to have a year to focus on their yiddishkeit and not just grow spiritually, but also mature emotionally by being away from home. Secular kids do this by the thousands by living on college campuses after high school. It may not be the right thing for everyone, but for many it certainly is part of growing up and preparing yourself for being on your own, as a transition out of your parents' house. I would not want my kids on a secular college campus and am very happy for them to go to seminary or yeshiva, In Israel or dorming in the U.S., and to stretch myself for those expenses, same as so many others outside the frum world stretch themselves to pay for their kids to college.

amother

Melon

Mon, Mar 04 2024, 12:56 pm

amother Denim wrote:

Just wanted to chime in and give another example. I consider my family to be low middle class.

Total seminary cost was $27000

We asked for a scholarship and received about $3,000. My daughter went through TTI and received about $11,000 in funding, but since TTI charges about $2,000, we had a $9,000 net gain. So the total we owed was $15,000. We had about $5,000 from COVID from my DH's business, and we set it aside for seminary. And then we had to come up with the remaining, which was double regular high school tuition. It was expensive, but not insane. This is just for tuition. Doesn't include airfare, clothing for seminary, and spending money. BH she is careful with spending. But I FREAKED when she asked if she could do the Poland trip that is offered to seminary girls. I mean, enough is enough.

I have the same feelings as everybody else and I think many do. And I feel like chinuch people are using kids as a means for their parnassah, and I feel resentful. But I sent my daughter, so I acknowledge that I am also part of the problem. I think that Jewish women work so so hard, and she wanted to go. I felt like this is a gift I can give her, knowing her responsibilities will be so big. I didn't need to, but I wanted to. And I wouldn't have done it if I needed to pay the whole thing. I am also aware that I needed to forego on things that I wanted in order to give her this, and I wonder how much I can limit myself for my child's luxuries. Like, I also want things (not luxuries just normal things that I can pay without stress) and I feel like I'll come up against this more as more of my kids get older. Its a hard thing to think about balancing because I want to give them everything, but the standards are things that I don't agree with. I wonder in 5-6 years what she will say about her experience once she begins real life and gains greater financial awareness.

amother

Razzmatazz

Mon, Mar 04 2024, 1:24 pm

amother Jade wrote:

I didn’t read the entire thread but I just want to point out that it’s a huge difference whether this family is from in-town or OOT. All OOT girls go to seminary. And I mean ALL. I’m from Chicago, which is a larger OOT city, and every.single.girl in my grade went. And when I say everyone, I mean everyone.
My parents didn’t have money but it’s not like staying home and being the only girl in my entire grade, from the three frum high schools, was an option. BH my parents qualified for several huge scholarships and bh they paid about 30% of what the full price would have been, and it was doable. I don’t know if these large scholarships are available these days , as this was over a decade ago.
I paid for my own plane ticket, shopping before going, cell phone, insurance, and spending money. I did run out of cash in May, a month before seminary was over, but I told my parents and they deposited $200 into my account to cover that last month. I was very frugal all year, and appreciated every single minute of seminary, and it was a very healthy and life changing year for me in many ways. I was the oldest, and very “parentified”, so that year was very special to be able to focus on my growth without my responsibilities distracting me. (My parents were amazing, but someone in my immediate family was very very sick when I was in HS and I didn’t have a choice but to step up in a big way).

This all being said, I now live “in town”. My girls are young so I don’t know what will be , but we struggle financially, so if my daughters don’t “need” to go, I don’t think I would/could send them, even though I know how special the year could be.
If we lived in a community or city where every girl went, I would do my best to figure out a way to make it happen like my parents did, perhaps by taking loans , and obviously applying for every available scholarship. It can be very detrimental to mental health to be the only one left behind.

And being in town, if my daughters Chas vshalom need to deal with something in the year or 2 leading up to seminary that made it of extra importance to spend that year in EY, I would do my best to make it happen even if it was a situation where not all her friends went.

My point is, it really depends on the situation and where you’re from, if it’s “needed” or not.

That's a very broad statement. I live OOT. We have a small local seminary. Some girls stay, some girls go to EY, and some girls go to NY seminaries.

Edit: I stayed home, got married, and lived happily ever after:)

amother

Denim

Mon, Mar 04 2024, 4:06 pm

amother Melon wrote:

Oh, she went thru Touro, but all we got from FAFSA (Pell and TAP) was $250.