Homemade shalach manus - bal tashchis

amother

Thu, Mar 07 2024, 11:41 am

amother Catmint wrote:

I wish we could go back to the days that an apple and an orange was shaloch manos and it was given on a stapled plate to look like a Hamentashen, that kids decorated.

After many yrs I finally broke down and started baking. Simple mini cakes Dunkin Hines -
At 99 cents a box, I can make 6 mini cakes, and a glaze costs pennies
It’s just simple economics

Yes this! I wish people would send a box of raisins and an orange and it can be eaten later or given away to someone who would actually use it.

For people who need to spend money and be fancy they can send whatever expensive alcohol or charcuterie board that has a hechsher.

Homemade isn’t here nor there. Effort goes into it and the containers cost money but it can’t be donated and many people won’t eat it.

watergirl

Thu, Mar 07 2024, 11:50 am

amother OP wrote:

The salami was obviously cut and packaged by a manufacturer with a hechsher. That’s not important.

Shuls are not equipped to distributing homemade leftovers post purim in a way that there won’t be waste. Many shuls don’t allow homemade food to be served at a kiddish because of kashrus. It’s not on the shul to organize that all the food dropped off not go to waste.
I don’t know of a single organization that accepts homemade shalach manus leftovers if you do please send it our way.

No way about telling everyone. I see how personally everyone took the POV from someone who doesn’t eat others homemade things that don’t have a hechsher. I’d rather everyone drop off their iced coffees and there be baal tashchis than make the iced coffee neighbors angry like the woman on this thread are.

P.S. the iced coffee bothers me the most. That is milk that had the coffee not been added could have nourished children.
Cups of 12-16 oz of milk flavored with caffeine that could go a long way for a child.
Also, most humans can only drink one or two coffees a day.

The salami thing actually is a valid point considering you've built the first part of your post on kashrus. Maybe it was not glatt? My father goes to a weird level of effort to be davka and not buy glatt. Maybe it's a schita the recipient does not trust? You have no idea who gave it to you and you loved it, clearly kashrus is not your real issue.

Telling everyone - post on your whatsapp status for a week or more building up to Purim that you would rather not receive MM this year and wish people a freilichin Purim. I've seen a few people do this in the past, they post that they are taking it easy this year and only giving to two people and that people should also take it easy and not give to them. It's really no big deal.

And if the iced coffee REALLY bothers you this much - here is an idea. Get a few really cheap ice cube trays and freeze the iced coffee into cubes. Use these cubes any time you want to make a frappe or an iced coffee instead of using ice cubes, this way you won't have a watered down drink, and you won't have to consume or toss all of the iced coffee in one or two days! Win-win!

amother

DarkGreen

Thu, Mar 07 2024, 11:52 am

amother OP wrote:

P.S. the iced coffee bothers me the most. That is milk that had the coffee not been added could have nourished children.
Cups of 12-16 oz of milk flavored with caffeine that could go a long way for a child.

And yet on purim your kind neighbor decided to elevate it and do a Mitzva with it. MM are supposed to spread love and happiness and if budgeted right (1 cup of ice coffee and a Danish is definitely cheaper then a pkg of rolls and deli) then your neighbor will still be able to nourish her darling children. Chill and smile and take it for what it is.
P.s. Right now an ice coffee to my door sounds 100% perfect to my pregnant self.

amother

Ginger

Thu, Mar 07 2024, 12:01 pm

I hear your point about bal tashchis, but to be honest: before I'd go after home-made, I'd talk about the packaging. Lots of that goes straight into the garbage and the cost was just for show.

The answer is that people want to do it. And its pretty and nice. And they like it. And they like homemade stuff too. Everyone's different, you are allowed to pick and choose how you use your resources - time, finances, talents, and so on. At the end of the day, even if you didn't get the chance to eat it, they got a mitzvah. And thats the point of the day.

amother

Snowdrop

Thu, Mar 07 2024, 1:08 pm

LovesHashem wrote:

The nonjewish organization, homeless shelter, hospital etc wouldn't take the hokade stuff

No place to donate homemade food. Too worried about potential food poisoning/allergies etc and then possible lawsuits.
You could drop off packaged food at a food pantry but they have certain parameters of what they'll accept.
And a hospital won't take any food, homemade or packaged... what are they going to do with a few random snack bags/packaged pastries/cans of food?

I work in a Jewish workplace and we aren't supposed to bring in homemade stuff because of kashrus concerns. They are actually very strict about it.
All the shuls & frum schools I know have strict policies about this, too

watergirl

Thu, Mar 07 2024, 1:12 pm

Golde wrote:

I just want to say that I wouldn't be offended the slightest or think negatively about you at all if you let me know before Purim that you would rather not receive mm. Quite the opposite. I wouldn't feel bad about skipping your house and I'd be happy to save the time and money.
I would, on the other hand, feel sad if I knew you threw away the mm I made and gave you.

SAME! The best thing is when someone posts publicly (whatsapp, FB, or IG status) like I said before, that they are going light and easy on mm and only giving two, and they want their friends and loved ones to also take it easy and skip them this year. No one wants to give a MM that is not wanted and appreciated.

amother

Brown

Thu, Mar 07 2024, 2:22 pm

amother Amethyst wrote:

Ok, I’ll bite. I give away/throw away almost all homemade mishloach manos for the same reason I don’t sign up for meal trains after birth and eat meals out rarely. We keep cholov yisrael, yoshon, etc and most people in our community do not. At least with a packaged item I know if it’s good or not, with homemade I have to assume we don’t eat it.
And no, the onus is not on me to not accept mishloach manos from people. How rude would that be. I accept graciously with a smile and figure out what to do with it later.

ETA: I’m not going to start grilling people at the door about their kashrus practices.

And do you feel quite holy, maybe even holier than thou, when you throw away the shlach manos?

ETA: maybe you should have a big sign on your door: Don't even try to bring us shlach manos, we are way out of your league!

amother

Snow

Thu, Mar 07 2024, 4:00 pm

Cookin4days wrote:

If you don’t want it, DONATE it, give to the homeless.

Excellent in theory, not so feasible in practice. Do you really think anyone is going to take a sack of reject MM, go out in the street looking for a homeless person, and hand it over to him? As for donating--to whom? To a food pantry? Many items will not be accepted by food pantries because they don't comply with whatever requirements the supervising agency establishes. My local food pantry no longer accepts food donations from individuals, but when they did, everything had to be commercially packaged, sealed, not expired, and real food, not junk food. That knocks out anything homemade and all candy, cookies, cakes, chips and "snack foods. "
To s child's class? How many frum schools allow children to bring in homemade goods? And even if they do accept goods baked by the families of the children in the class, it would be dishonest to bring in something made by someone else, whose kashrut the school may not approve of. Ditto bringing stuff in to work unless all your coworkers are nonJews.

zaq

Thu, Mar 07 2024, 4:30 pm

LovesHashem wrote:

The nonjewish organization, homeless shelter, hospital etc wouldn't take the hokade stuff either??

.

Generally speaking, no. Certainly not a hospital and not most food pantries, which usually get some government funding and have to comply with government regs. Not to mention that, ever since the rash of drug and food tampering that occurred some decades ago, most establishments will not take anything that isn't sealed. Bring them homemade goods and they will do with them exactly what many amothers do--dump it. They have no way of knowing you didn't embed razor blades or rat poison in the chocolate cake.

amother

Brown

Fri, Mar 08 2024, 2:09 am

amother Amethyst wrote:

Please don't be mean. We don't think we are better than anyone else. This is exactly why I won't tell people not to bring us m"m or take a meal train with specifications on our kashrus. I don't want anyone to think that we think that or be matriach anyone with our chumros. We are, however, allowed to have chumros in kashrus and to keep to them. I don't live in town and keeping yoshon and chalav yisrael is something we are moser nefesh to do because we believe in it.
So instead of telling people the truth (as I did here and got trashed for) I just accept graciously.

I just think it defies the purpose.
The idea of mishloach manos on purim is to highten a sense of brotherhood, of unity in am isroel. That's written explicitly in the megilla.

So in your place, I would ask a shayla if throwing away shlach mones on Purim is OK, or if you should make an exception to your kashrut standards on purim for the sake of unity and brotherhood. Plus for the sake of avoiding tashchis.

But if you are already so convinced that throwing them away is the right thing to do, I seriously recommend you to inform the public and to do something so that you will not have to throw away shlach mones, which in my eyes is a rather evil gesture and defies the whole idea of shlach mones.

So you have those possibilities: Go away on Purim and inform people that you are not here. Or launch a donation drive instead of shlach mones. Or have the sign at your door as I said.

amother

Ebony

Fri, Mar 08 2024, 4:47 am

amother Brown wrote:

So in your place, I would ask a shayla if throwing away shlach mones on Purim is OK, or if you should make an exception to your kashrut standards on purim for the sake of unity and brotherhood. Plus for the sake of avoiding tashchis.

Would you consider lowering your Kashrut standards for mishloach manot, or are you only suggesting it because you disagree with the standards amother amethyst chooses to follow?

amother

Brown

Fri, Mar 08 2024, 5:22 am

amother Ebony wrote:

Would you consider lowering your Kashrut standards for mishloach manot, or are you only suggesting it because you disagree with the standards amother amethyst chooses to follow?

I am totally serious that she should ask a shayle.

And yes, my kashrus standards include that I close an eye generally for the sake of friendship, while I am rather strict for myself. To give you an example: I travel a lot to places where no kosher restaurant/ready made kosher food is available, and in those cases I would not dream of going to non-kosher or vegetarian restaurants, I bring my whole kitchen with myself and cook in the hotel room.

However, I eat at friend's places if they declare they keep kosher, even if their kashrus standards don't exactly match mine.

And I made a principle of accepting hechsherim, exept if I actively know that they are just a scam or made some egregious error in the past. (and, by the way, the "stricter" hechsherim are not the ones that comitted fewer errors in the past.)