S/o cleaning help can’t afford

amother

Hydrangea

Thu, Mar 14 2024, 8:30 pm

It’s true. In Some communities people that take tzedaka have regular help. They also have high standards of cleanliness and dressing.

I am in that community for many years I had minimal or no help but lower standards and I was very fulfilled and happy. When I look at others I feel inferior unfortunately.

We move into a relatives empty house some years because they have a Pesach kitchen. I cleaned it myself in 2 days and cook at night.
Stress free is the key.

Now that I have older kids they help bh.
You don’t need to clean the ceilings and outside windows. Just a more thorough shabbos cleaning is fine.

MommyM

Thu, Mar 14 2024, 9:23 pm

No, I don't have cleaning help. I start early so I have more time to clean. Dh usually helps me move the furniture that needs moving, but I do most of it myself.

amother

Tulip

Thu, Mar 14 2024, 9:33 pm

I have 1 1/2 hours a week.
I work a bit overtime once a week to cover. It's crazy and I struggle to afford it, but for now I'm able to.
She cleans my bathrooms and kitchen floor and that's it.
Before Pesach, I wish I can increase my hours so she can help me with Pesach, but it's way out of my budget. At least my bathrooms get cleaned even during the erev Pesach rush.
Its exhausting. Especially while also maintaining my regular work schedule and the kids. No money for much takeout the week before either
BH I lucked out in that my teens are off the week or two before Pesach and will help with Pesach Cleaning. They'll fight me in regular cleaning or laundry but they'll do cabinets, closets, etc.
We survive but I do fantasize about significant cleaning help 'when I'm rich'

amother

Lilac

Thu, Mar 14 2024, 9:56 pm

amother OP wrote:

It’s a necessity for me too. I just literally have no way to pay for it. Literally.

Wow, well that makes me feel great, that all the people you know have help. What’s the purpose of sharing that?

You misinterpreted my post. Your OP said what’s the big deal, clean yourself, and I was sharing that it’s cultural and in some communities it’s a huge deal. And yes people will skimp on necessities or go into debt or borrow money to have cleaning help. My intention wasn’t to make you feel worse in any way.

amother

Milk

Thu, Mar 14 2024, 10:03 pm

No help, even when 9 months pregnant. For me it wasn't a money issue. I like doing it myself - I trust myself - I don't know if I would trust an outsider.

amother

Navy

Thu, Mar 14 2024, 10:07 pm

I do it all on my own.
I do understand the obsession with cleaning help though. If I could afford it it would make things so so so much easier.
But it’s just not an option for me.

amother

Thu, Mar 14 2024, 10:07 pm

amother Lilac wrote:

I skimp on necessities and go into debt and still can’t afford help. It’s a huge deal in my community but I simply can’t do it.

amother

Brown

Thu, Mar 14 2024, 11:34 pm

Been making Pesach on my own for 42 years, as did my mom and her mom. And I work full-time. I start early, with the non-Pesach-essential spring cleaning starting in January or so, and get into the real Pesach crunch about 10-14 days before Pesach. When I had small kids, I did most of the work after they were asleep.

amother

Grape

Thu, Mar 14 2024, 11:51 pm

amother Lilac wrote:

I really think this is cultural. Even when I was very tight financially, I had some cleaning help. I consider it a necessity. I currently have 10 hours a week which is less than almost everyone I know. I can count on one hand the people I know who don’t have cleaning help.

I am wealthy and have about 4 hours of cleaning help a week.

amother

Lilac

Thu, Mar 14 2024, 11:59 pm

amother Grape wrote:

I am wealthy and have about 4 hours of cleaning help a week.

Which proves my point that it’s cultural. No one wealthy I know has 4 hours.

amother

Brown

Fri, Mar 15 2024, 12:10 am

MommyM wrote:

No, I don't have cleaning help. I start early so I have more time to clean. Dh usually helps me move the furniture that needs moving, but I do most of it myself.

Learn the halochos. Moving furniture isn't necessary.

amother

Fri, Mar 15 2024, 12:11 am

amother Lilac wrote:

Which proves my point that it’s cultural. No one wealthy I know has 4 hours.

Where do you live?

amother

Daffodil

Fri, Mar 15 2024, 12:15 am

I have a house full of kids and the youngest being multiples (toddlers!). For me, extra help, whether that's watching the toddlers or cleaning help , becomes a necessity. Because I can't scrub all night while they're sleeping and be expected to run after them all day the next day. Something's gotta give. And it isn't going to be me collapsing at the ER. A lot of things that I deemed "luxurious" have become a necessity for us at the moment. Everyone's situations are different.

amother

Cornsilk

Fri, Mar 15 2024, 12:19 am

I’m a single mother and I physically and mentally/emotionally cannot do it on my own.

Also, for reasons beyond my control- I am currently in a large home and it’s very difficult to maintain even without Pesach. My kids are also not so easy and tend to track food everywhere. I’m very nervous even with some cleaning help (I have cut back a lot) for example I had someone today for two hours so I worked alongside her both before and after and I threw out my back.

Now I had a difficult day getting around at work and taking care of my kids. When I overdo it- that’s what happens.

Ftr- I live in a neighborhood where most have live ins ir full time cleaning help. Totally don’t care. For me it’s about just not beinr capable of doing it all myself and mentally it’s very hard for me to live in mess/chaos

amother

Bellflower

Fri, Mar 15 2024, 12:21 am

OP if your house completely turned dysfunctional without cleaning help, would you still do without? You sound like you are capable of cleaning and therefore do it yourself (although you prefer not). Some people are simply unable to keep a functional home without cleaning help. Whether they have ADHD or some other struggle that prevents them from doing so. For them it's just as necessary as bread and butter. They make it work even when there's no money.

amother

Fri, Mar 15 2024, 12:21 am

amother Daffodil wrote:

I also do. And I also need.
But I simply don’t have the means

amother

Fri, Mar 15 2024, 12:22 am

amother Bellflower wrote:

It’s a necessity for me. I just literally do not. Have. An. Extra. Penny. No matter where I cut down. There is nowhere to cut down. Already not making most bills

Rappel

Fri, Mar 15 2024, 12:25 am

I prefer to do it myself. There's something spiritually satisfying about Pesach cleaning. I start early, and get things like bedrooms and others done and out of the way. I have the kitchen down to a two day system. And then I cook Pesachdik for two weeks so I don't have to cook on chag

Rappel

Fri, Mar 15 2024, 12:28 am

amother Bellflower wrote:

That would be poor management.

If you don't have a necessary skill, then acquire it - both through cleaning help, and a course/aid that will enable you to achieve those skills. Never leave yourself helpless.