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Forum
-> Yom Tov / Holidays
-> Purim
amother
OP
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Fri, Mar 15 2024, 11:07 am
My freshly bar mitzvah-ed son is convinced that he is getting drunk on Purim this year. Does anyone have links to a good video clearly explaining the dangers of drinking? I've seen the Amudim one, but I'm looking for ones that don't focus on drunk driving since that's not relevant for him.
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shabbatiscoming
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Fri, Mar 15 2024, 11:12 am
I may get tomatoes thrown at me, but can his father explain why its not a good idea, as his male role model, hopefully?
Hopefully he isnt getting drunk either so can lead by example.
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amother
OP
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Fri, Mar 15 2024, 11:17 am
shabbatiscoming wrote: | I may get tomatoes thrown at me, but can his father explain why its not a good idea, as his male role model, hopefully?
Hopefully he isnt getting drunk either so can lead by example. |
DH has tried to talk to him but it's fallen on deaf ears. Regarding DH as a role model with drinking - like many men, he does get drunk on Purim. Putting aside my feelings on that, I still think he cannot be blamed as a bad role model since there is a difference between a 40 year old man getting drunk (knowing his limits) once a year, and a 13 year old boy consuming alcohol. I think it's reasonable to expect DS to understand the difference.
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vintagebknyc
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Fri, Mar 15 2024, 12:14 pm
I have to ask, what is stopping you from not allowing this to happen?
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amother
OP
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Fri, Mar 15 2024, 12:22 pm
vintagebknyc wrote: | I have to ask, what is stopping you from not allowing this to happen? |
How do you suggest I do that? Lock him in his room for Purim?
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groovy1224
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Fri, Mar 15 2024, 12:25 pm
amother OP wrote: | How do you suggest I do that? Lock him in his room for Purim? |
Obviously not but who on earth would he be with that would serve alcohol to a 13 year old?? I'm not naive I know that 19 year olds get drunks (NOT that I approve) but what psycho would give to a child that age?
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amother
Periwinkle
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Fri, Mar 15 2024, 12:26 pm
Op there was something posted last year, try to search for it
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mha3484
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Fri, Mar 15 2024, 12:28 pm
My 13 year old got some dumb ideas from his friends that now he is bar mitzvah he has to get drunk on purim and I put the kabosh on that idea. I will buy some 5% wine like joyvin and he can have a little at the seuda but that's it. He is a kid he can be convinced all he wants but doesn't make it reality.
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amother
OP
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Fri, Mar 15 2024, 12:34 pm
There is wine and shnapps available everywhere on Purim. At people's houses, at shul... how is it possible to enforce him not taking liquor at shul from the table where it is easily available/accessible?
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chanatron1000
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Fri, Mar 15 2024, 12:38 pm
This might sound extreme, but you can tell him you will be administering a breathalyzer test.
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amother
Razzmatazz
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Fri, Mar 15 2024, 12:39 pm
Why is everyone so harsh on op? She wants to visually show her son the dangers of drinking. He’s a young teen, sometimes what parents tell them is not enough. They are so much smarter. Good for you op.
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vintagebknyc
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Fri, Mar 15 2024, 12:39 pm
amother OP wrote: | How do you suggest I do that? Lock him in his room for Purim? |
Yes. Underage drinking is a crime. Give him consequences if he comes home drunk.
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mha3484
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Fri, Mar 15 2024, 12:43 pm
amother Razzmatazz wrote: | Why is everyone so harsh on op? She wants to visually show her son the dangers of drinking. He’s a young teen, sometimes what parents tell them is not enough. They are so much smarter. Good for you op. |
My son had a youngish yeshivish med student last year as a science teacher. He went into great detail with the boys about what drugs and drinking do to the body. I think it coming from someone who A) wasnt their parent 2) someone they felt they could relate to made a real impression. It scared the pants off my son.
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amother
Iris
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Fri, Mar 15 2024, 12:46 pm
Following. Is be interested for my 14 year old too
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Cookin4days
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Fri, Mar 15 2024, 12:49 pm
Why can’t you tell him he’s not allowed to drink ?
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Dolly Welsh
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Fri, Mar 15 2024, 12:57 pm
Call your Rav.
Ask if he can keep an eye on your son and the other kids that age.
There is also taking a nap. During a nap, asleep, you also can't tell the difference between H%men and Mordechai. Same as being drunk. And better.
Get the big men involved, the rabbinic authorities.
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amother
OP
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Fri, Mar 15 2024, 1:04 pm
Dolly Welsh wrote: | Call your Rav.
Ask if he can keep an eye on your son and the other kids that age.
There is also taking a nap. During a nap, asleep, you also can't tell the difference between H%men and Mordechai. Same as being drunk. And better.
Get the big men involved, the rabbinic authorities. |
The Rav gets stone drunk along with most of the “big men”. No one is keeping an eye on my son or any of the kids on Purim.
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amother
Steel
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Fri, Mar 15 2024, 1:40 pm
Depending on the state you live in, it may be illegal to serve alcohol to minor or to permit a minor under 21 to consume alcohol. It varies by state, and where the state permits, the municipality may prohibit. In most places it's not illegal if the child's own parents give him the drink, provided he drinks in a private home and not in public, on public property, or in a vehicle. (An absurd rule imo. If the parents are alcoholic why would they cavil at leading their kids down the same path? But that's a topic for another thread.) Drinking in a vehicle is a crime regardless of age, even if the vehicle is parked.
However if the child gets drunk, whoever served the alcohol could be found guilty of endangering the welfare of a child. That is a crime any way you slice it.
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amother
Periwinkle
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Fri, Mar 15 2024, 3:03 pm
Ladies!! Op knows it's wrong, illegal, bad....
She's asking for help with a visual video demonstrating the effects! Have one? Share it! Don't have? Move on
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amother
Pansy
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Fri, Mar 15 2024, 3:06 pm
If my son said he is disregarding what I said about drinking, yes he will be staying home all purim being guarded by me. Alcohol poisoning is very real and very dangerous, this is not an opinion, it is our job as parents to prevent our children from harming themselves. By all means necessary.
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