Kids want but I can’t afford

amother

Sun, Mar 17 2024, 9:38 am

amother Birch wrote:

If you are going to anyway bite the bullet and buy $20 shoes, you may as well just buy the $12 floafers.

Your daughter can babysit to make money. She can already charge 8 to 10 an hour at age 12 and it adds up fast.

They pay by grade. It’s $6 an hour

amother

Buttercup

Sun, Mar 17 2024, 9:39 am

amother OP wrote:

I can’t buy any clothing. And yes when I do buy I shop like that.
But now she wants to go to the Jewish store (its important to her)

Are you hoping to get the funding from imamother?

amother

Jean

Sun, Mar 17 2024, 9:42 am

amother OP wrote:

Wow that would be so nice thanks!!

DS is size 13 little kids
DD toddler 7
DD girls 4

And my oldest dd is a ladies 7 or 8 (but she has sneakers she can do without floafers).

I have nearly new white size 8 women’s floafers that don’t fit anyone in my family. Is there a way I can get them to you from the Monsey area?

amother

Sun, Mar 17 2024, 9:45 am

amother Buttercup wrote:

Are you hoping to get the funding from imamother?

What funding?

amother

Moonstone

Sun, Mar 17 2024, 9:46 am

OP,
Your stress sounds unbearable. I'm so so sorry that you're in this situation.
Coaching through Mesila is an investment. Yes it costs money but the tools they will give you will pay back the cost and more. When you're in deep debt, scraping by isn't enough, it's not sustainable, you need to stop, look back and regroup even if it sets you back a couple months because otherwise you will never ever get out.

amother

Junglegreen

Sun, Mar 17 2024, 9:47 am

amother Mustard wrote:

She can babysit or do other things for neighbors and earn money to buy herself clothing. It adds up fast.

A 12 year old should not have to work to buy herself clothing. And a 12 year old is a bit too young to go around babysitting.

amother

Sun, Mar 17 2024, 9:48 am

amother Junglegreen wrote:

A 12 year old should not have to work to buy herself clothing. And a 12 year old is a bit too young to go around babysitting.

Right this is what I thought. She does babysit and sometimes she buys extras (like a camera she wanted). But I don’t think it’s right for her to be pressured to buy clothing

amother

Mustard

Sun, Mar 17 2024, 9:48 am

amother Junglegreen wrote:

A 12 year old should not have to work to buy herself clothing. And a 12 year old is a bit too young to go around babysitting.

A 12 year old is not too young. And if this is the situation it’s better for her earn money than not have anything.

amother

Sun, Mar 17 2024, 9:48 am

amother Moonstone wrote:

There isn’t much they can do when our income is too low to pay everything

amother

Mustard

Sun, Mar 17 2024, 9:49 am

amother OP wrote:

Right this is what I thought. She does babysit and sometimes she buys extras (like a camera she wanted). But I don’t think it’s right for her to be pressured to buy clothing

So are you going to buy it? Because it’s not ok to not buy it and not give her opportunities to earn her own money.

amother

Sun, Mar 17 2024, 9:49 am

amother Moonstone wrote:

Honestly not stressed. I’m trusting Hashem, that’s it’s what’s right for us right now.
It’s just the guilt I feel to buy things that fee like extras

amother

Junglegreen

Sun, Mar 17 2024, 9:50 am

amother OP wrote:

There isn’t much they can do when our income is too low to pay everything

They can help you with budgeting and get more worth for your money.
RSK is also a good option.

amother

Sun, Mar 17 2024, 9:50 am

amother Mustard wrote:

So are you going to buy it? Because it’s not ok to not buy it and not give her opportunities to earn her own money.

Buy what? Clothing from the Jewish store? No.

Clothing from the local Gmach (that gets new stuff from a wealthy neighborhood and many people shop there and look beautiful). Yes. If I must (hoping in laws will help with clothing on rare occasions they do)

amother

Junglegreen

Sun, Mar 17 2024, 9:50 am

amother OP wrote:

Honestly not stressed. I’m trusting Hashem, that’s it’s what’s right for us right now.
It’s just the guilt I feel to buy things that fee like extras

Do you & your husband both work?

amother

Sun, Mar 17 2024, 9:51 am

amother Junglegreen wrote:

They can help you with budgeting and get more worth for your money.
RSK is also a good option.

We are really good budgeters. But you can’t budget when you don’t have enough to cover the month

amother

Sun, Mar 17 2024, 9:51 am

amother Junglegreen wrote:

Do you & your husband both work?

Yes I work part time he works full time

amother

Junglegreen

Sun, Mar 17 2024, 9:51 am

amother OP wrote:

You need to come up with a solution, because your kids are getting older & you won't be able to get away with gemach clothing for them much longer.
Are you signed up for tomchei shabbos?

amother

Sun, Mar 17 2024, 9:53 am

amother Junglegreen wrote:

You need to come up with a solution, because your kids are getting older & you won't be able to get away with gemach clothing for them much longer.
Are you signed up for tomchei shabbos?

No this Gmach everyone goes too. I’m outing where I live but basically she hosts these big stores and has gorgeous stuff. Even ladies find stuff.

Yes get tomchei shab

amother

Mustard

Sun, Mar 17 2024, 9:54 am

amother OP wrote:

You shouldn’t be stopping her from earning her own money and choosing which store to shop in. It’s not ok to force her to get from a gemach when she can earn her own money and buy what she wants.

amother

Wandflower

Sun, Mar 17 2024, 9:56 am

amother OP wrote:

They pay by grade. It’s $6 an hour

Where are you located that a twelve year old gets paid $6 an hour to babysit? I made more babysitting at 12 over two decades ago.