Who takes care of dd with fever in seminary?

amother

Sun, Mar 17 2024, 9:49 am

It looks like there is no procedure or help at all. I would expect something like chicken soup or healthy light snacks by her bed and medicine etc.

amother

Dahlia

Sun, Mar 17 2024, 9:57 am

No one is bringing her chicken soup. The eim habayis can help her figure out how to get to the doctor and help her figure out how to get meds she needs. But otherwise she can ask friends to bring her food.

amother

Sun, Mar 17 2024, 9:59 am

I don't understand with all the money we pay there is nothing like a room for sick girls and madricha who gets the soup even from the freezer and a little TLC

amother

Peony

Sun, Mar 17 2024, 10:02 am

amother OP wrote:

I don't understand with all the money we pay there is nothing like a room for sick girls and madricha who gets the soup even from the freezer and a little TLC

Part of seminary is learning to be self sufficient, even when sick

If she were in college or living on her own it would be the same thing. At least she has friends who can hopefully help out, or she can figure out how to get some food delivered

But this is life as an adult

theoneandonly

Sun, Mar 17 2024, 10:03 am

She's 18, not five. She should be able to get her own food, even if sick. The fact that you think she's not capable of that is a little bit alarming.

amother

Sun, Mar 17 2024, 10:03 am

naomi2 wrote:

She's an adult

She is in a foreign country at a program that we entrust to take care of them. In all other areas she is not treated as an adults. they supervise where the goes for shabbos and tell her what phone to use and what internet if at all etc.

amother

Sun, Mar 17 2024, 10:04 am

theoneandonly wrote:

She's 18, not five. She should be able to get her own food, even if sick. The fact that you think she's not capable of that is a little bit alarming.

She is in bed not feeling well

amother

Dahlia

Sun, Mar 17 2024, 10:05 am

They don’t take care physical needs. They don’t do their laundry, or help them shower, or feed them outside of meals school provides.. so why would you think they babysit sick girls?

amother

DarkViolet

Sun, Mar 17 2024, 10:07 am

Herself.

She's a big girl now!

I remember going to the clinic on my own when I was feeling sick.

Of course friends should stop by and an eim bayit as well. But no one is going to be her mother.

amother

Brunette

Sun, Mar 17 2024, 10:07 am

She’s old enough to get on an airplane and be thousands of miles away from you. She can figure this out as well.

amother

Sun, Mar 17 2024, 10:08 am

amother Dahlia wrote:

They don’t take care physical needs. They don’t do their laundry, or help them shower, or feed them outside of meals school provides.. so why would you think they babysit sick girls?

They make their meals and provide all the facilities for laundry and and self care.

amother

Lily

Sun, Mar 17 2024, 10:08 am

My DD is in seminary and I wouldn't expect her to be getting chicken soup when she's sick. But I remember when I was in sem our friends would make sure to bring us food from the meals or help each other get medicine we need. etc.. I think my school helped with finding doctors though.
Refuah Sheleima!

NotInNJMommy

Sun, Mar 17 2024, 10:10 am

She needs to reach out to get friends to bring her back food from the meals or ask if staff will. Or bundle up and try to go get some food/meds herself and take it back to her room.

Of course she can ask for help or information for how to do this from the staff, but it has to come from her and she will have to work with how much help they are willing to give. Ie just information or additional things.

amother

Sun, Mar 17 2024, 10:10 am

amother Lily wrote:

Thanks Amen I understand that I was expecting too much.

kenz

Sun, Mar 17 2024, 10:11 am

OP I fully agree with you. There should be a show of care and concern for a girl who’s sick with fever. For all those saying, “She’s an adult,” when your child is 18 will you no longer care for her if she’s sick? What about all the threads complaining about husbands who don’t help out enough when their wives are not feeling well? But she’s an adult in that situation too, yet everyone agrees the husbands should pitch in. We entrust our children to seminaries with the understanding someone is looking out for them and making sure they’re ok. Sadly many of them fall short in this area.
Refuah sheleimah.

amother

Wheat

Sun, Mar 17 2024, 10:13 am

Is she bedridden to the point where she can't get out of bed?

Can she walk to the toilet by herself?

The reality is that she is now learning to be an adult and most adults don't have someone "nursing" them when they are sick the way a mother nurses a child. No one is making adults toast and bringing it to their bedside - for the most part. In fact, unless someone is very sick, many adults are expected to carry on their normal life - more or less.

Presumably her friends can bring her a bowl of soup or a cup of tea if she is unable to walk to the kitchen to boil water or put some toast in the toaster.

When people go to college and live in dorms no one is providing them with nursing care. They would rely on friends to bring them food or they would have food delivered if they wanted food.