Do people really mean it when they say

socialbutterfly

Tue, Mar 19 2024, 7:48 pm

I just can't imagine anyone actually answering the question! "Yes, we like London broil, medium rare." Helloooo you were invited out for a meal not to a restaurant.

Don't get me wrong, it's nice when people ask. I just don't think most people will answer honestly.

I think better to ask if there is anything that they specifically don't like.

amother

Seagreen

Tue, Mar 19 2024, 7:55 pm

amother OP wrote:

"Anything you or your husband like to eat on shabbos"
I recently got married and have been invited for shabbos to extended family on both sides.
The mother always says anything in particular you guys like to eat.
Should I feel silly saying "yes, my husband likes techina/matbucha and I like specific ice cream/fruit.
And no, it is not the type for me to offer to bring whatever food we do like, doesn't make sense with a 2 hour car ride shlepping dips.
You guys can tell me just be polite and say no anything is good, and that's fine, But when any of you do invite guests do you really mean it when you say what do you like and they say they like ice cream would you go and buy it for them?

I don't think I've ever asked anyone that question. I ask about allergies. If anyone is a vegan. Gluten-free. But I don't think I have ever asked a guest if there is anything special they like to eat on shabbos.

If someone asks, I would assume they mean it. If you tell them and then they don't ask again next time, then you'll know they didn't mean it, lol!

As a side note, if someone is hosting you for a whole shabbos, it's nice to bring something. I don't see what the big deal is for some dips to come on a 2 hour car ride with you.

Cheiny

Tue, Mar 19 2024, 8:28 pm

amother OP wrote:

Since it’s your family, there’s nothing wrong with telling them if they’re asking,

amother

Seagreen

Tue, Mar 19 2024, 8:46 pm

amother Wallflower wrote:

Am I the only one who doesn't understand what's the big deal about taking along a dip or 2 for a 2 hour car ride?

Um, no, you're not. I wrote the same in my post right above yours.

Queen Of Hearts

Tue, Mar 19 2024, 8:47 pm

I would consider it socially off for a guest to request a specific food. If you like a specific fruit or ice cream you can eat it at home. No need to have it wherever you go.
As for preferences that are ok to mention it would be more of what you will not eat vs what you will.
For ex if you have an aversion to cooked fish I would be happy to grill or bake yours.

amother

Azalea

Tue, Mar 19 2024, 8:57 pm

I agree that it's more about what you don't want. But with a newly married couple and parents, they may be trying to learn what the newly married in spouse likes and doesn't. So if you know your mother's repertoire and that your Shmueli doesn't eat fish but loves mushrooms, or the opposite, and those are two of her options for appetizers, that's useful- she can easily serve what he likes vs what he doesn't. And if they regularly buy or make salads and you have preferences that are easily accomodated, also good.

amother

Peach

Tue, Mar 19 2024, 9:01 pm

I really mean it when I say it and I am happy to accommodate. I'm also really not sure hy it's such a huge deal to bring dips along when you go. Every time I go to my in laws I bring a bunch of dips and they are about two hours away. I know they live the specific dips from this store near me and it helps them for shabbos when I bring them. Its a win win for both of us. Anything can be brought along unless it melts.