Would you have said something? (baby left alone)

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amother

Wed, Mar 20 2024, 10:18 am

My family went to bingo shopping after school, and the place was jampacked. My husband took my newborn in the stroller and went to the meat section. I took my other three kids in the big shopping cart and went to a different aisle.
As I’m walking, bumping into other peoples carts, because it was so packed, I turn into an aisle and quickly stop when I see a baby in a stroller sleeping in the corner of the aisle. I look around and I see families rushing around and no one goes to this baby.
Now, I’ve seen this thing happen before where a baby is left in a stroller and no one‘s around. So I obviously stopped with my kids and I stand by this baby. Baruch HaShem, my children don’t fight in the cart. They are all holding their own snack and don’t complain as I just stand there waiting.
Anyway, I guess because I was waiting and searching for the parent, the time felt so much longer, but for 7 MINUTES no one claimed this baby I was watching.
Just as I was about to tell a store employee to announce “hello someone forgot their baby!” A little boy, who looked about eight years old, comes walking with a woman behind him, and he grabs the stroller, and quickly turns away and walks to a different aisle. They did not look at me, even though I was staring at them, and standing by their child, but I’m assuming they didn’t notice because the place was so packed.
Anyway, my husband and I meet at the register to check out our items, and then I noticed the baby that I was watching at the register next to us with his family. I was looking at the Mom and debating whether I should say something, but in the end I did not. I did not want to embarrass her. Her whole family (bunch of kids) and her husband was there. I really wanted to say something, but I also didn’t want to embarrass her.
I don’t know if I did the right thing. I don’t want any child kidnapped. What should I have done?

amother

Razzmatazz

Wed, Mar 20 2024, 10:20 am

Say nothing.

amother

Hunter

Wed, Mar 20 2024, 10:23 am

Say nothing. For all you know they were watching from a distance.

amother

DarkGreen

Wed, Mar 20 2024, 10:25 am

Don't mix in. They were probably looking at the baby from a distance.
You won't accomplish anything by embarrassing the family in public.

greenteaorange

Wed, Mar 20 2024, 10:26 am

I would be less nervous about kidnapping more nervous about the stroller getting hit and the baby getting hurt being all alone in the store
I’m shy so idk if I would say something but what the parents did is def is not the right thing to do

amother

Freesia

Wed, Mar 20 2024, 10:26 am

This is only done in heimish or Jewish stores its mind boggling. Leaving babies outside, or leaving babies unattended. Never would happen in costco or a non Jewish store. I dont know why some Jews do this and think we're immune to any danger. I wonder if I would say something, I'd like to think I would. But I would feel dumb saying this to an older mom, I am a young mother in my 20s.

amother

Wed, Mar 20 2024, 10:27 am

lol they came out from about 7 aisles away. I looked down and up near the aisles I was in. NO ONE was looking at this baby except me. They honestly looked like they forgot him with how fast the brother ran to him.
It would have been so easy for anyone to take him, literally no one claimed him for close to 10 minutes

singleagain

Wed, Mar 20 2024, 10:30 am

I would maybe tell management to post signs reminding people not to leave children unattended.

True bingo is targeting the Jewish market and that might make a person feel safe, but bingo does not restrict access to Jews only and unfortunately Jews are not immune to horrifying stories.

amother

Wed, Mar 20 2024, 10:39 am

amother Freesia wrote:

I’m 30 and she looked the same age as me

amother

Cobalt

Wed, Mar 20 2024, 10:41 am

I would have pulled the mother aside and given her what-for. While I would try to be quiet and discreet, both parents deserve to be embarrassed. They are guilty of neglect and endangering the safety of their child.

happy7

Wed, Mar 20 2024, 10:41 am

Do you know how many stores ask you to leave your stroller with your baby at the front or OUTSIDE?!?
It is ridiculous.
There is a false sense of security that it’s a frum community and frum store and so it’s fine.
This is a culture that has been going on for decades.
Yo can’t really change it.

singleagain

Wed, Mar 20 2024, 10:43 am

happy7 wrote:

How else will it be changed unless people speak up and say this is unacceptable?

thatworn

Wed, Mar 20 2024, 10:44 am

Are you new to your community? In some communities, this is totally the norm. I wouldn't say anything because it's not going to accomplish much. Asking stores to post signs will not accomplish anything either. The OBGYN office I used in a frum community has plenty of signs to remind the patients that they should not leave their children in the waiting room unattended, but there were plenty of unattended toddlers hanging around there in their carriages. I always wonder how they trained their children to sit in the carriage for so long and not make a fuss.

amother

Black

Wed, Mar 20 2024, 10:47 am

WOW that is dysfunctional. I don’t think there’s a point in saying anything because either she’s too dysfunctional to change or it was a one time accident that she is mortified and scarred by.

amother

Lightyellow

Wed, Mar 20 2024, 10:47 am

amother Freesia wrote:

So not an exclusively Jewish thing.
My family is from a wealthy country in Europe where it's completely normal and considered healthy to leave your baby napping in a stroller outside.

Americans have been brainwashed to be terrified of kidnapping.

SuperWify

Wed, Mar 20 2024, 10:48 am

This is not ok.

I’m really surprised some posters think it is.

Last edited by SuperWify on Wed, Mar 20 2024, 10:49 am; edited 2 times in total

amother

Black

Wed, Mar 20 2024, 10:48 am

thatworn wrote:

That is so sick! I really don’t understand people. They wouldn’t leave their diamond earring just sitting out there, but their kid they will?

I get stressed letting go of my baby’s carriage and turning away from them to look at a shelf in a store. I’ve seen too many TikTok’s of children being snatched from carriages in grocery stores. I don’t think that’s very healthy of me, I’m definitely overly anxious about my child’s safety, but rather that than abandoning them places. What is wrong with people.

thatworn

Wed, Mar 20 2024, 10:50 am

Within some frum communities the attitude is that someone is watching over your child, if not you. Outside of the community it is different. Once on a chol ha moed trip to a place with an Imax there were some bubbies or alta bubbies outside, like, in the building, in the foyer of the Imax and this little boy started wandering around outside. Now this boy was definitely a Yid but one could tell he wasn't of the same hashkofic background as these alta bubbies. A security person came and asked what the little boy was doing there and who was watching him and said they'd take him away (I guess to find his parents) and the alta bubbies quickly said no way are you taking him, he's with us. I am sure they woukdn't have wanted their einikelech playing with this boy, as he didn't look like he was quite their type, but no way were they letting a security guard cart him away.
So in that case, someone was watching over this little child. maybe they were more alert as it was not inside the community they were used to.
However, it doesn't always end up this way. Even in a Jewish store, you have to take care and do a little bit more hishtadlus to make sure your offspring is safe. Just it's hard getting that message across.

Last edited by thatworn on Wed, Mar 20 2024, 10:52 am; edited 1 time in total

amother

Black

Wed, Mar 20 2024, 10:50 am

amother Lightyellow wrote:

Alternately, your country is safer than the US.

flowerpower

Wed, Mar 20 2024, 10:50 am

Definitely say nothing. The kid was sleeping in the stroller. Not sitting in an unattended cart. Mom was busy and overwhelmed. Cut her some slack. ( my kids come with me. I don’t leave them unattended. But I learnt over the years to be less judgy and move mute. You never know the full story)

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