Would you have said something? (baby left alone)

amother

Aqua

Wed, Mar 20 2024, 11:40 am

amother OP wrote:

I have issues because I care about other children? Okay I guess I’ll look into that. I’m happy I didn’t say anything to the mom. She’d probably slap me for showing any concern for her child bc hello! I need to mind my business

Yes OP. I’m not trying to be unkind. I have, and would, stay with an unattended child that is in a dangerous situation. The difference is this was not a dangerous situation, even if it was a situation that you were personally uncomfortable with (as I would be). The fact that you perceived a level of danger high enough to make you stand there with 3 children for 7 minutes is perhaps a sign that your anxiety about child safety is too high. Either that, or you felt the need to be a knight in shining armor and passive aggressively show the mom how neglectful she was (after all, how would even know that you were standing there for 7 minutes, unless you looked at your watch as soon as you started standing there, and what would be your reason for doing that if not so you can keep track of just how horribly neglectful this mother was, and tell everyone about it after?)

effess

Wed, Mar 20 2024, 11:40 am

Here’s a scenario that must likely happened:
Mother came into the packed store and soon after the baby fell asleep. Mom asked 8 yr old big brother to wheel him around while she shops, probably with a few other kids. After a few minutes mom looks at big brother and notices no stroller.
Oh my!
Leiby, where is baby?
Leiby doesn’t know what to answer bc he can’t remember.
Mom and kids then go and search for baby. They find him.
Baby is ok bh but mom is fuming at herself for thinking that Leiby would be helpful in wheeling around the baby while she shops.
She might even let out her anger at Leiby.
She is not in a position to talk to you. Brother takes the baby and they head out.
Thanks for keeping an eye on the baby.
That was nice.
Saying anything is unhelpful.

amother

Taupe

Wed, Mar 20 2024, 11:47 am

amother OP wrote:

lol they came out from about 7 aisles away. I looked down and up near the aisles I was in. NO ONE was looking at this baby except me. They honestly looked like they forgot him with how fast the brother ran to him.
It would have been so easy for anyone to take him, literally no one claimed him for close to 10 minutes

I once forgot my baby in bingo.
It was the first time I went shopping after she was born and I put my older two they were three at the time into the cart. It was the summer and they had toys in the front. Balls and stuff for the country where we were going that weekend for a trip. Kids were excited we picked out some balls and stuff. Then we went on to the first aisle. I don't think it was more than a few seconds before I realized what happened but wow did I freak out!

amother

Wed, Mar 20 2024, 11:49 am

amother Aqua wrote:

Let me explain myself since u think terribly of me
I knew it was 7 minutes bc my husband called before. Not bc I was timing her. I stayed by the baby bc I wanted to. I didn’t think there was a high level of danger, but babies are helpless and I’m a mama bear, sue me. I didn’t come here to bash the mother, I asked if I should have said something, but I’m happy I didn’t. And if I did say something, It didn’t enter my mind to want to say anything passive aggressive. Who am I to judge her? I wanted to tell “I saw ur baby alone and I got worried but I’m happy u have him BH”

amother

Wed, Mar 20 2024, 11:52 am

amother Taupe wrote:

BH ur baby is safe and a minute or two I understand bc like I said before, I’ve seen this and it’s not the first time or the last. It was the over 5 minutes that got me worried honestly

amother

Aqua

Wed, Mar 20 2024, 12:23 pm

amother OP wrote:

You’re saying a lot of things here that contradict other things you said in this thread. Now you’re saying that you didn’t think there was a high level of danger, that you didn’t come on here to bash the mother, that you wouldn’t judge her. You’ve been saying the opposite in your OP and in your comments for the last 3 pages. And for the record, “ I saw ur baby alone and I got worried but I’m happy u have him BH” is literally a passive aggressive statement. What would be the point of saying that if not to either passively aggressively tell the mother she was neglectful, or to fish for gratitude from her for saving her baby?

You came on this thread to bash the mother and to hear everyone tell you what an amazing person you are for doing what you did. I’m pretty sure that deep down (or not so deep down) you are insecure about your own parenting and so you seek these situations out as a way to make yourself feel better about yourself (in an “oh my heavens I would NEVER do that to my baby” clutching pearls type of way).

amother

Bluebonnet

Wed, Mar 20 2024, 12:45 pm

amother OP wrote:

My family went to bingo shopping after school, and the place was jampacked. My husband took my newborn in the stroller and went to the meat section. I took my other three kids in the big shopping cart and went to a different aisle.
As I’m walking, bumping into other peoples carts, because it was so packed, I turn into an aisle and quickly stop when I see a baby in a stroller sleeping in the corner of the aisle. I look around and I see families rushing around and no one goes to this baby.
Now, I’ve seen this thing happen before where a baby is left in a stroller and no one‘s around. So I obviously stopped with my kids and I stand by this baby. Baruch HaShem, my children don’t fight in the cart. They are all holding their own snack and don’t complain as I just stand there waiting.
Anyway, I guess because I was waiting and searching for the parent, the time felt so much longer, but for 7 MINUTES no one claimed this baby I was watching.
Just as I was about to tell a store employee to announce “hello someone forgot their baby!” A little boy, who looked about eight years old, comes walking with a woman behind him, and he grabs the stroller, and quickly turns away and walks to a different aisle. They did not look at me, even though I was staring at them, and standing by their child, but I’m assuming they didn’t notice because the place was so packed.
Anyway, my husband and I meet at the register to check out our items, and then I noticed the baby that I was watching at the register next to us with his family. I was looking at the Mom and debating whether I should say something, but in the end I did not. I did not want to embarrass her. Her whole family (bunch of kids) and her husband was there. I really wanted to say something, but I also didn’t want to embarrass her.
I don’t know if I did the right thing. I don’t want any child kidnapped. What should I have done?

I don't understand or relate to the culture of parking strollers outside of shops or leaving sleeping babies alone in an aisle.
I can't fathom how 2 adults go shopping together and neither one is watching the baby. If they left the baby in the care of an older sibling, well, clearly that sibling isn't mature enough for that responsibility.

I'd probably have kept my indignation to myself. Not to save them from embarrassment, which was very sensitive of you. But rather because it's pretty clear to me that it wouldn't do any good. Parents like this seem to live in some alternate reality.

Cheiny

Wed, Mar 20 2024, 12:48 pm

amother OP wrote:

That was very nice and responsible of you to wait with the baby until her family finally showed up. But those parents are horribly irresponsible. I see this as well, where mothers will leave their baby in a carriage at the front of a store by the door unattended, while they’re in the back shopping. It’s terrible. I’m sure these parents think it’s fine and safe because they’re “in a frum area/store,” which is absurd because non Jews also patronize Bingo and other stores, and all it takes is a minute for someone bad to do something terrible.

I would have said something to the family, and not worried about them being embarrassed. Maybe they need to hear it so they understand what they’re doing wrong and don’t repeat it.

Cheiny

Wed, Mar 20 2024, 12:53 pm

amother DarkGreen wrote:

Don't mix in. They were probably looking at the baby from a distance.
You won't accomplish anything by embarrassing the family in public.

Looking from a distance? That’s ok with you, as unreasonable as that even sounds, but if it was true, do you not think they’d be too far away if someone came and snatched the baby? I’m sure you’ll say it’s a very tiny risk, but even if it’s a minuscule risk, do we really take risks with our children’s safety?

And as someone here mentioned once in the past, would these parents leave their cash-filled wallets, or their jewelry unattended, and “look from a distance?” We all know the answer is no. So are money and jewelry more precious and important to us than our kids?

amother

Aqua

Wed, Mar 20 2024, 12:54 pm

amother Aqua wrote:

You can report me but it says something that you’d rather report me than respond. It’s not as if you’ve been speaking particularly kindly to anyone on this thread who disagreed with you.

amother

Aqua

Wed, Mar 20 2024, 12:55 pm

Cheiny wrote:

That’s not a good analogy. Wallets and jewelry get stolen all the time. Babies in carriages in busy stores in middle of aisles do not.

Cheiny

Wed, Mar 20 2024, 12:59 pm

amother Freesia wrote:

This is only done in heimish or Jewish stores its mind boggling. Leaving babies outside, or leaving babies unattended. Never would happen in costco or a non Jewish store. I dont know why some Jews do this and think we're immune to any danger. I wonder if I would say something, I'd like to think I would. But I would feel dumb saying this to an older mom, I am a young mother in my 20s.

I said something to a mother who left her approx-10 yr old son sitting in the driver’s seat of a RUNNING car, and a tiny baby in a car seat behind him, while the older one was playing with the gears! My friend and I waited with the children until the mother finally came out of the supermarket quite a while later, and after my friend told her the son was playing with the gears and could’ve driven it (!), her response was to reprimand the child for “misbehaving!” Wow. Talk about clueless. Some people seem too irresponsible to parent their children. This is not ok. Hashem Yishmor.