Mechutanim | Imamother

amother

Fri, Mar 22 2024, 11:07 am

Are there rules or expectations to give my daughter’s in laws mishloach manos? Does it have to be something special or will my regular one for everyone be enough? Also do I have to give altogether if I usually only give people in my immediate neighborhood. This is in Lakewood and dd is married around 6 months.

erm

Fri, Mar 22 2024, 11:13 am

Whatever you start doing will be the norm for years to come. Do yourself and them a favor and don’t make yourself crazy and add extra expectations on both of you. Give a regular one, maybe spoof it up a little with an extra nice box of chocolates or wine.

amother

Fri, Mar 22 2024, 12:08 pm

erm wrote:

That sounds great good. I just don’t want to offend them if they were expecting something. I have older kids in shidduchim so I can’t afford to be a trend breaker.

amother

Fri, Mar 22 2024, 12:16 pm

imamothertoo wrote:

I know a few people who make up in advance with their mechutanim not to start with mm.

That’s also nice. Although I feel awkward starting the conversation.

amother

Emerald

Fri, Mar 22 2024, 12:42 pm

imamothertoo wrote:

I know a few people who make up in advance with their mechutanim not to start with mm.

My first set of mechutanim did this, and I am forever grateful!! They sent us mm during the engagement, adding that once our kids are married we shouldn't give each other. (They had a few married kids already).

Since then, if Purim fell during the engagement we gave mm, but not after our kids are married. It definitely cuts out stress, especially if they live in a different town which can get quite expensive as you probably have to order ready made mm.

amother

Foxglove

Fri, Mar 22 2024, 12:54 pm

I just sent to my soon to be mechutanim and they sent to us. I made it a little more special than others. They sent something very nice with a beautiful note. I think the idea is to just let each other know you're happy for the connection and happy that your children are together. Some people are more into gifts than others. Maybe you should ask your children for some guidance on that. If you are so inclined and have an open enough relationship with the family, you can consider an agreement not to send. If it makes you happy and you think it would be enjoyed by them, then by all means do so.

amother

Fri, Mar 22 2024, 4:47 pm

amother Foxglove wrote:

Thank you. I found this reply helpful. And thanks to everyone who posted opinions.