Do you know what your sons are doing tonight?

amother

Sun, Mar 24 2024, 8:25 pm

Are they embarrassing themselves? Puking in peoples kitchens, helping themselves to food with their hands from the serving trays, kissing strangers and jumping up and down, or worse? Parents please take responsibility for your kids. 14 year olds are too young too drink and they really need someone older with them taking responsibility for their behavior. Some of the behaviors I saw (and see each year) are beyond not ok and an embarrassment to their yeshiva (and yes I will call the yeshiva and let them know that I don’t donate when their buchrim act like wild animals.

amother

Sun, Mar 24 2024, 8:43 pm

giftedmom wrote:

Are you trying to pour salt on open wounds? What do you want mothers to do exactly? Chain up their sons?

Call the yeshiva and make a plan, hire a bachur to drive them around and babysit them. Tell the yeshiva you don’t authorize your kids going around collecting because they aren’t mature enough.

SuperWify

Sun, Mar 24 2024, 8:46 pm

amother OP wrote:

Call the yeshiva and make a plan, hire a bachur to drive them around and babysit them. Tell the yeshiva you don’t authorize your kids going around collecting because they aren’t mature enough.

These are good ideas.

Just curious- do you have teens? Do you do this? How does the yeshiva respond?

amother

Sun, Mar 24 2024, 8:48 pm

SuperWify wrote:

Wow

I told the boys to leave after they puked all over the bathroom (and gave them garbage bags) and they refused to leave and asked to eat something . I wasn’t comfortable with that (again these are total strangers who were acting very drunk ) and they just started helping themselves to food with their hands, ruining our food that we spent hours preparing for.

amother

Sun, Mar 24 2024, 8:49 pm

SuperWify wrote:

These are good ideas.

Just curious- do you have teens? Do you do this? How does the yeshiva respond?

At the moment I only have teen girls, I have a few years till my boys leave but I plan to bring them home for Purim. They can go around with my husband and have a good time without making a fool of themselves.

SuperWify

Sun, Mar 24 2024, 8:51 pm

amother OP wrote:

Yes, that’s gross. But these are someone’s children.

SuperWify

Sun, Mar 24 2024, 8:52 pm

amother OP wrote:

well… let us know how it goes down with them….

WhatFor

Sun, Mar 24 2024, 8:54 pm

amother OP wrote:

How old are they? Are they 14? Did you ask any of them for a number to call an adult they know to pick them up? Please consider that these are children and humans, no matter how uncharismatic they are when they're drunk. If they're already vomiting then they've had too much alcohol for their body and need help.

Give them non-alcoholic fluids (even better if electrolytes like gatorade but water is fine), something plain to eat like chips, and call one of their parents to come get them. Please don't just throw these kids out without making sure they're being passed over to someone who can look out for them.

amother

Sun, Mar 24 2024, 8:58 pm

WhatFor wrote:

We called their rebbe to come pick them up when they wouldn’t leave and he came 20-30 minutes later . They are dormers in the local yeshiva, 9th grade. I was horrified that the yeshiva didn’t send someone around with them supervising.
I am sorry they aren’t our responsibility, total strangers who happen to attend a local yeshiva who decided to park themselves at our seudah and ruin it because their was a matzav and weren’t listening to any of the adults who told them to act respectfully . If I had wanted buchrim over I would have invited them. A yeshiva or parents need to take responsibility for their buchrim, especially under age and especially if they send them collecting .

Librarian

Sun, Mar 24 2024, 9:33 pm

I have 3 grown sons BH. My husband and I have hammered it into them from the earliest age how terrible drinking is. We literally put the fear of G-d in them about drinking and smoking. My husband led by example. Could be we were just lucky, but we certainly put in our hishtadlus and not one of our sons drank as bochurim. Maybe a beer at a shalom zachor but nothing more. As married adults, one will drink a good wine at a shabbos meal, and 2 will drink a little on Purim but not enough that anyone can tell. No smoking or vaping at all ever. So in my humble experience, start young and be a good example.

amother

Seablue

Sun, Mar 24 2024, 9:39 pm

Librarian wrote:

I think you got extremely lucky.

My parents are incredibly anti drinking and smoking. We were taught from a young age the dangers of it all. Nonetheless, every single one of my brothers has gotten completely hammered on purim at some point or another.

Librarian

Sun, Mar 24 2024, 9:41 pm

amother Seablue wrote:

Thank you H-shem! Even my one and only son-in-law never drinks a thing except kiddush. Now I can worry about the grandchildren lol

amother

Seablue

Sun, Mar 24 2024, 9:42 pm

amother OP wrote:

How did they end up in your house?

amother

DarkYellow

Sun, Mar 24 2024, 9:44 pm

I hope to by like my mother & MIL ih. They prepare a ton ton ton of finger foods & offer foods & drinks to whoever comes collecting. Many groups of bachurim sit down & eat there. I have rachmanos on those boys that are forced to collect a certain amount on purim. They're exhausted and starved.
(Most groups in my community, have a supervisor.)