What's $200???? | Imamother

amother

Tue, Mar 26 2024, 10:00 am

amother Chartreuse wrote:

You kind of did and I was all on your side until I saw that. “I was counting on it” isn’t a typo that you’d accidentally write because you were thinking of something else and claiming it was a typo rather than an intentional change is silly. It’s just a small change but it sounds very different than “it’s a big help”.

It makes me wonder if you “just” changed a few words of what your sil said and that her actual words were a lot less obnoxious.

It's exactly what I said it is. I was thinking something else while typing, and typed what I was thinking in my head rather then what I actually said. I realized that when I reread my post, it was up for afew minutes. Yet somehow, posters are intent on harping on that.
You can think what I want.
I'm tired of explaining myself over & over again.

amother

Papaya

Tue, Mar 26 2024, 10:11 am

amother OP wrote:

I'm not pretending not to know. This was gone over & explained already upthread.

You actually did, you kept denying it until I pointed out there’s actually proof of it in the thread for anyone to see

I wrote a post right away with the information I saw, and most of my follow up posts were just explaining where I was coming from or defending my reaction since it had everyone confused, once you edited your post, claiming I don’t know how to read.

I agreed saying “big help” is different than “counting on it” and that I wouldn’t have had that reaction if you originally wrote that. But you didn’t, so my post didn’t reflect that.

I did not say what your SIL said wasn’t insensitive to you or rude. It was. I was merely pointing out that it could have been for the benefit of her MIL and trying to be sensitive to her, and that maybe you can change your perspective to be DLKz to her.

The second part is no longer relevant since you claim it’s not what you said anymore, but I was also pointing out that some (like myself) could find what you said insensitive too. It wouldn’t mean you are a bad person or anything, just an insensitive/rude comment to make, same as SIL.

Im not twisting any stories, I’m not missing anything that was written and English is my first language. You changing the post then pretending you never said the things I was responding to, was pretty shocking to me and made me frustrated, especially when you were using it as an excuse to accuse me of attacking you and make you the bad guy, which I never did.

And the reason everyone is getting confused with half the responses IS because you changed the story. I’m not saying you lied, but you edited your post to say other things, regardless of which version happened, it makes it confusing.

amother

Papaya

Tue, Mar 26 2024, 10:16 am

amother OP wrote:

We’re harping on it because instead of saying “I realize why you think that, I made a mistake because I never said that so let me clarify my OP and here is what was actually said”, you just made it look like we misunderstood what you clearly wrote and then denied writing those things for most of the thread.

You can just admit that the first few responses were to a different post so there was a misunderstanding, and here is what actually happened. Does it change my opinion? Somewhat, yes. But making it out like we’re speaking different languages and can’t comprehend what’s being told to us is rude.

amother

Tue, Mar 26 2024, 10:20 am

amother Papaya wrote:

That mistake was up for literally afew minutes, yet posters were harping on that the entire thread. And that error isn't even the point of the post!!
I admitted that it was a mistake. I didn't even realize it till it was pointed out. Yet posters keep on harping on those few words, which isn't even the point of the thread, even after I edited it.

singleagain

Tue, Mar 26 2024, 10:30 am

amother OP wrote:

OP I understand it's frustrating. I also will be typing something and suddenly bc someone said something else I start typing that. It's a human thing.

It's also a human thing to be focused on the first piece of information one sees no matter how short it was up and "correct" for. Think about all those facts that were proven to be myths. {If anyone is interested I can provide some videos}

People love to say that there's no such thing as tone online... I think this thread proves otherwise. The tone is found in things like word choice, sentence structure and formatting.

People focus on word choice bc that word has certain connotations and tells a lot more of the story than the rest of the words in the actual story.

amother

Papaya

Tue, Mar 26 2024, 10:33 am

amother OP wrote:

Who cares if it was a few minutes? That’s what I saw and responded to, as did others. It makes no difference how long it was because that’s what I saw so that’s what I was going off of in my post. No one was harping on it. I was merely defending my reading comprehension and explaining why I wrote what I wrote. You edited it with no warning or explanation on your OP so people see my post and think I’m taking words out of thin air and you sit there accusing me of twisting your story, when I didn’t. You didn’t admit anything until I told you there was proof.

And to you that may not have been the point of the post, but I was making my own point that I found the comment to be pressurizing and full of entitlement. My opinion hasn’t changed on that, but your story has, so it’s no longer relevant. Your point was to paint your SIL in a bad light and get everyone to gang up on her and attack her for being rude, which a lot of people did so great. I was trying to be DLKZ and show that there could always be something else going on you don’t know about, while also pointing out that what you said (or apparently didn’t say) wasn’t so great either. I didn’t twist any story or make you the bad guy or attack you. I gave a response to a post I read, then that post was changed and I spent a thread defending why I originally wrote what I wrote. That’s all.

lakewood mom

Tue, Mar 26 2024, 10:34 am

OMG! People must be so bitter that they’re picking apart her OP. Enough! This is not a statement being said in court where every little word carries so much weight. Why are so many women out to get her???
She came in here to vent… there may have been some errors/ typos that were corrected… but why the need to harp on them??? Are you so into defending the other side that you feel the need to put down the OP and call her out on stupidities? She explained herself again and again. Let’s say she actually did tell her mother that she was counting on it for YT (instead of thinking it)- let’s say she did… that’s not the point of the post! Why are there always women who completely miss the point and love to nitpick on things that have nothing to do with the intent of the post?! It’s so frustrating to read- I can’t imagine what the OP is feeling!

BH Yom Yom

Tue, Mar 26 2024, 10:38 am

lakewood mom wrote:

This. You said it better than I could.

lakewood mom

Tue, Mar 26 2024, 10:38 am

This is so common here:
OP: I gave my daughter baby carrots and she had terrible diapers after. Any suggestions? Should I not give them to her anymore?
Other posts: the baby carrots may be too harsh on her stomach, maybe try cooking carrots instead.
Other posts: my son had same thing. I gave it to him two months later and he was fine.
BITTER WOMEN: why would you buy baby carrots for your daughter when zucchini is much cheaper? It’s amazing how people just spend when so many are without.

Read the posts here- this isn’t even an exaggeration!

amother

Tue, Mar 26 2024, 10:42 am

singleagain wrote:

Thank you for this. I appreciate this post.

amother

Forsythia

Tue, Mar 26 2024, 11:05 am

I didn't read all the responses, but from what I read I can't believe some of the responses. OP did nothing wrong. It doesn't sound like she was trying to pressure her parents. She just came to vent and ask people to be sensitive when they make comments. People here need to stop being so judgemental and jumping to conclusions.

amother

Papaya

Tue, Mar 26 2024, 11:48 am

amother Forsythia wrote:

Lol then you’re unaware that Op changed her first post, no one jumped to conclusions we just had different wording that made it seem like a different situation than it was.

amother

Birch

Tue, Mar 26 2024, 12:00 pm

Here's the thing OP you lost credibility when you gaslit the people who responded to the way the original post was written, first making believe we made it up and then when there was actual proof you said oh it was a typo. You made as if they were innocently attacking you when in reality they were responding to a post that you later edited.
The credible thing would be to say, yes I edited it sorry that's not how it happened instead of making them out to be making stuff up until proof of your original post was found.
When you make changes based on being told off, it makes the whole post less credible.

Yes the comment as you stated in OP was obnoxious of your SIL. But we the women of imamother are not crazy.

amother

Yellow

Tue, Mar 26 2024, 12:04 pm

OMG. Birch and Papaya you must both be having a hard day.

She didn't gaslight anyone lol. It was such an insignificant change that she didn't realize what you were talking about. I don't she made the edit in order to trick anyone but for greater clarity. So once you got her 1st response that she never said to her mom "I'm counting on it" You should have said (to yourself or on this thread) "oh ok I guess you made a mistake in your 1st post". Instead of keeping on saying "yes you did yes you did, etc..."
People make mistakes. But keep harping on it till tomorrow...

amother

Papaya

Tue, Mar 26 2024, 12:16 pm

amother Yellow wrote:

There is a big difference in saying "thanks, its a real help" which is totally fine and appropriate and showing gratitude, vs "im counting on it" which makes it seem like she was expecting it all along, is entitled to get it and also puts immense pressure on the person to follow through. I dont think she was trying to trick anyone, and to her the wording might have been insignificant. But I reacted to what she wrote. I never said she did tell that to her mother or accuse her of lying about the story. I merely defended myself that those were the actual words she originally wrote, when she claimed she never WROTE them.

I didnt use the word gaslight, and its okay that she made a mistake. But I didnt, so everyone accusing me of not understanding the post or not being able to read is insulting, and im allowed to defend myself. I am not harping on it, im literally just responding to posters who are seeing a new OP and then jumping on my response which they think clearly "makes things up out of thin air"

amother

Tue, Mar 26 2024, 12:22 pm

amother Papaya wrote:

Lol then you’re unaware that Op changed her first post, no one jumped to conclusions we just had different wording that made it seem like a different situation than it was.

That's not true. Many responses have zero to do with the point of the post and are just focusing & nit picking on words that have nothing to do with the situation.
Responding to a post/thread with something that's completely missing the point of the post, is just weird & rude.
Posters jumped on me while completely missing the point of the the situation.

amother

Tue, Mar 26 2024, 12:24 pm

amother Papaya wrote:

The point of the situation is what my sister in law said to me about the money.
But you & others chose to miss the point of the thread and jump on me about something that's not the point of the situation, and make up a whole assumption based on that.

amother

Tue, Mar 26 2024, 12:25 pm

amother Yellow wrote:

This. Thank you. And what's even more weird is, that it's not even the point of the situation.

amother

Lightgreen

Tue, Mar 26 2024, 12:27 pm

amother NeonOrange wrote:

What in the world is with these responses. Who said anything about pressure? She said her father was sick so not at the seuda. And the mother said shell send the money. And she said thank you, it's a huge help.
What part of that is insensitive?? She didn't ask for the money. Her mother said it will be sent. Her father being sick doesn't mean he is disabled, not working, and not in a position to help.
Her mother volunteered that the money will be sent. No one begged for it.

I really wonder about the people on this site.

Same. I was like why are they yelling at her???