Wwyd - sons broke each others glasses on purpose

amother

Mon, Mar 25 2024, 10:16 pm

My boys got into a fight and broke each others glasses. From what I gleamed one was on purpose and the other was sort of by mistake (he stepped on it by mistake during the fight after it fell off the other son). They are 11 & 9. This is probably like the 3rd or 4th time this year I need to fix them or buy new ones. Mostly they broke them by being irresponsible - example leaving it on the floor while getting dressed and someone stepping on it.... This is the first time it was very intentional though.... I'm frustrated and honestly annoyed about having to find time to go to the glasses store tomorrow as they really can't manage without them. How should I handle this?

amother

Aster

Mon, Mar 25 2024, 10:25 pm

I would make them pay for them. Or at least in part, depending on how much it will cost. If they don't have money, they will need to do chores to make up that difference.

amother

Jetblack

Mon, Mar 25 2024, 10:26 pm

amother Aster wrote:

I would make them pay for them. Or at least in part, depending on how much it will cost. If they don't have money, they will need to do chores to make up that difference.

Yup. Me too.

happy7

Mon, Mar 25 2024, 10:26 pm

Do they have any of their own money that they can contribute to a new pair? Even a token amount, not the whole thing.

amother

Daylily

Mon, Mar 25 2024, 10:32 pm

amother Diamond wrote:

If they don't have money, ask them to do a chore for the next month as payment.

This

amother

Mon, Mar 25 2024, 10:34 pm

Thanks for the ideas. I like the idea to give them a choice to either pay for (some of) it (one has a drop of money) or do some chores instead. What is fair to ask them to do ? Like how big of a chore for how long? Should it be equal for both of them - being that they are different ages and one was more on purpose?
Also I can't hold back from giving them the glasses till they complete whatever it is they have to do to pay for them... so what will be the incentive for them to do it? I'm worried it will turn into a power struggle with them refusing to do it....

naomi2

Mon, Mar 25 2024, 11:40 pm

If the lenses are still intact, maybe you can just tape them up and tell them theyll get new ones in 6 months

ray family

Tue, Mar 26 2024, 1:18 am

I’d make them contribute something towards the new glasses either monetarily or with chores, but first see if there’s a warranty!
Also see if the lenses (if not broken) can fit into a new frame
As an aside my rule always was: you can kill each other just take off your glasses first!! 😜
One son’s glasses cost thousand of shekels and I couldn’t afford to keep on replacing them.

amother

NeonBlue

Tue, Mar 26 2024, 1:31 am

boys will be boys

if they usually dont get this out of control id skip over it and get good coverage for future.

if they need lessons in anger management or getting along better, work on that

Bnei Berak 10

Tue, Mar 26 2024, 4:18 am

amother NeonBlue wrote:

boys will be boys

if they usually dont get this out of control id skip over it and get good coverage for future.

if they need lessons in anger management or getting along better, work on that

I absolutely disagree with this.
They needed to learn to take care if their belongings.
Parents are not supposed to replace broken items when kids think it's a game.

Bnei Berak 10

Tue, Mar 26 2024, 4:19 am

naomi2 wrote:

If the lenses are still intact, maybe you can just tape them up and tell them theyll get new ones in 6 months

THIS

DrMom

Tue, Mar 26 2024, 5:04 am

I'd order from an online place like Zenni if they are going through so many pairs of eyeglasses each year.

And I'd make them pay for it by doing chores.

amother

Babyblue

Tue, Mar 26 2024, 9:23 am

Tape them and tell them they have to pay for new ones.

They need to learn responsibility. Both of them.

amother

Daylily

Tue, Mar 26 2024, 9:29 am

You asked for chores
Do they do chores?
1. Clear the Shabbos table for 1 month
2. Bring in all the groceries from the car
3. Help shlep Pesach boxes
4. Load, unload dishwasher

Complaints get an extra week
Put a time limit - child needs to do chore with in 10 minutes of being asked, if not they don’t they get an extra week

If that doesn’t work then you’ll have to take something away that they really like

If they do chores already you can ask for harder things.

I would pay them and make them responsible of paying you back

I agree with those that say tape the glasses if possible

Lately I’ve been listening to bratbuster. She talks a lot about a behavior/consequense chart. Not your typical behavior chart

bnm

Tue, Mar 26 2024, 9:32 am

Make them pay for it. Natural consequences. Show them the price of new ones. How much working hours your losing over it and how much cookies/candy/lego you could have bought instead. I also have a rule that if your glasses get broken from neglect you will need to wear Miraflex or some other rubber unbreakable one. My son has hated them since he is little so has avoided it as much as possible.

Come up with a lost of age appropiate chores and a time frame of how many weeks they have to work to pay it off.

amother

Tiffanyblue

Tue, Mar 26 2024, 9:44 am

Agree with the kids having to pay back with money or chores. Since you can't with hold the glasses, can you withhold something else they enjoy if they complain/dont do it? Shabbos treat? Purim nosh? If you use any devices in the home?

I also bought from target and paid for the warranty. They were able to repair and not need to replace it for us but if they couldnt it you pay only like $25 for new frames and $25 for the lenses.