How to get her to clean toys?? Age 3

amother

Sat, Mar 30 2024, 9:48 pm

I have tried everything but she just won't clean up. She was playing with magnatiles and menchies. At the end, I even tried to do it with her. I tried to make it fun. I said let's put the baby menchie in first, then the tatty. I asked her to find the red tile to put in. I offered her candy. Nothing worked. I started to put in the bucket and she dumped it out.
Advice??
This happens often

amother

Azure

Sat, Mar 30 2024, 10:11 pm

Make it a game. You hold the box and sit on a chair and you be the the guy by a sports game who says what's happening
"I see chani is picking up 1 mentchie oh look now she's picking up two and she's putting them in the box..yes thats a GOAL!! now there she goes again getting more......."
It really works!!

amother

Offwhite

Sat, Mar 30 2024, 10:16 pm

She may not be developmentally ready. My 3yo isn't.

amother

Sat, Mar 30 2024, 10:20 pm

She cleans up for her morah

amother

Springgreen

Sat, Mar 30 2024, 10:23 pm

amother OP wrote:

She cleans up for her morah

I still doubt she's ready to clean up at home. If you want to start training her, that would mean putting two tiles away. Not the whole box.

amother

Pink

Sun, Mar 31 2024, 12:02 am

Ask the morah how she does it.

Lovable

Sun, Mar 31 2024, 12:04 am

amother OP wrote:

The fact that she's dumping it out is a separate issue than cleaning up.

cheerios

Sun, Mar 31 2024, 12:34 am

What reaction does she get when she dumps it out? Maybe she does it for the reaction.

tichellady

Sun, Mar 31 2024, 1:11 am

I always have to clean with my kids but I think that’s normal. I think this is a lot to expect of a 3 year old

amother

Sienna

Sun, Mar 31 2024, 1:14 am

It’s age appropriate to do it together. Games usually work but you have to be super pumped up and excited. Dumping it out at this age is unusual though.

imaima

Sun, Mar 31 2024, 3:45 am

amother OP wrote:

You clean up for her with a merry clean-up song and she follows along.
Toddlers like to emulate adults if they are positive.

Otherwise you have unrealistic expectations

imaima

Sun, Mar 31 2024, 3:47 am

amother Sienna wrote:

It’s age appropriate to do it together. Games usually work but you have to be super pumped up and excited. Dumping it out at this age is unusual though.

I think it means that she actually still wants to play.
So maybe OP will have to clean up by herself if the toddler didn’t consent to the change in activity

amother

Narcissus

Sun, Mar 31 2024, 4:55 am

imaima wrote:

I think it means that she actually still wants to play.
So maybe OP will have to clean up by herself if the toddler didn’t consent to the change in activity

I think this is the key.

OP, in school there is usually a clear structure and transition phase. Some kids don't adjust well to "we're done! let's clean up!" but if she gets more warning and time to transition she's likely to be more cooperative.

imaima

Sun, Mar 31 2024, 5:00 am

amother Narcissus wrote:

Yes
And they clean up when everyone does it. There is peer pressure then

LovesHashem

Sun, Mar 31 2024, 5:25 am

My kids love cleaning up. Transitioning, singing, talking about it etc help alot and you gotta make it part of your routine. Usually I hype the kids about something they can only do after it's cleaned up, get a treat, another activity, go outside etc.

imasinger

Sun, Mar 31 2024, 6:27 am

To summarize, and add my own 2 cents:

1. Give 2 warnings, and use a device for the start, so it's not perceived as you ruining her fun. "It's almost cleanup time"....Then later, "3 more minutes, then it's cleanup time! When the timer beeps, we're starting."

2. When the timer sounds, you can even ask her if she'd like to turn it off. Then, either turn on whatever cleanup song her morah uses, or sing it yourself.

3. Make it fun. Do it with her, but don't tell her which thing to put in next, that's not fun. You've just given her more orders.

Since you've just taken away her choice to continue playing, you'd do better to give her more choices. "Are you going to put in 2 pieces, or 5 pieces? I'm putting in 2." Look for ways to let her "win" -- she did more pieces, she was faster, whatever. "Do you want to put in the red pieces, or the blue ones? Okay, let's see who can get theirs in. Here's a green for me -- CRASH into the bucket (laugh)".

4. In the beginning, offer the reward as something you'll share, too. "If we can finish this before the timer, let's have a snack time together! Do you want a chocolate cookie, or a banana? I want some seltzer". When you do sit down together, praise her for being the best cleaner upper, and get ready to transition her to what comes next.

5. For the longer term, model the transition to doing tasks for yourself as well. "In 5 minutes, I have to stop reading and start cooking supper. I'll set myself a timer."

6. Write mitzvah notes about it when you get the slightest cooperation. Tell Totty how she's so good at cleaning up and you're so proud. With luck, she'll internalize that you see her as great at this, and start to take pride in her ability.

7. If you can, follow up also by offering her more fun "big girl" responsibilities that are similar in kind. "You were so amazing at mentchie cleanup all week that I'm going to let you take the clean silverware out of the dishwasher for me!". Or, "you're my super cleaning helper, want to be the one to vacuum the rug today?" Or, "Would you like to help shpritz and wipe down the table or counter?"

Hatzlacha!

amother

Azure

Tue, Apr 02 2024, 8:50 pm

Not age appropriate? My 3 year old has been cleaning up on his own since way before he turned 3