What's a reasonable consequence ?

amother

Sun, Apr 07 2024, 10:23 am

Ds five and three emptied powder vitamin in bc container made a sandbox and spilled many vitamin bottles inside while I was sleeping. They woke up early and in late to school Sundays. They usually play toys and games when I sleep and I am okay if they didn't pack up or made a somewhat of a mess bcuz I know I wasn't supervising. I did feel like in my struggle to not lose it on my kids and not yell as it is damaging and traumatic when I do, I have lately Baden able to keep my cool whenever they do something out of range or just not following rules and I in a very calm voice disapprove. But I see that maybe no strong reaction normalizes not okay behaviors and maybe if I would be stricter they would be more complying. I reacted calmly disapproving expanding on why it's wrong and said I will discuss with dad about a consequence. Any ideas?

lamplighter

Sun, Apr 07 2024, 10:27 am

If you were sleeping and they had no supervision then yes mess is expected. That's the natural consequence and you are the one who experiences it. You cannot expect kids that age to self supervise.
It's a choice you make, you sleep, they may get into no good. For many of my friends it's worth the extra sleep.

amother

Leaf

Sun, Apr 07 2024, 10:32 am

At that age I'd make them help clean it up and tell them in a bit of a strict voice (but not to loud or scary in any way) that vitiams aren't for them to touch. Then I'd make sure to make those type of things inaccessible to them..... If this was an 8 yr old my anwer would be different as a child that age should definitely know that they are doing something wrong...

amother

Mintcream

Sun, Apr 07 2024, 11:13 am

if they climbed and took from where they know they aren't supposed to you can explain some things are up high BC they can be dangerous like matches, medicine etc cleaning stuff
If they were easily accessible then I'm sorry they are not to blame.
for sure explain but ...
also leaving a 3 and 5 year old for a while when you lie in maybe expecting a lot from them. even if they do usually play happily. you can't expect them to remember rules etc. and not get into mishcief.

lilytee

Sun, Apr 07 2024, 11:28 am

I have kids around that age.
The only consequence I would give is have them help with clean up. From vacuuming to Washing.
You don’t need to raise your voice or give more than one very matter-of-fact explanation why what they did was wrong. And don’t be surprised if they do it again.

amother

Floralwhite

Sun, Apr 07 2024, 10:23 pm

maybe if I would be stricter they would be more complying

That's true. If you teach them to be afraid of you, they will behave better. They will also be damaged emotionally.

Parenting isn't about the short-term. It's about raising children to be healthy adults.

amother

Dimgray

Mon, Apr 08 2024, 12:30 am

Been there done that - it was with a more dangerous medication that we were worried they ingested.

Lesson to mom to keep things like vitamins and medications out of children’s reach (and I know someone who locks it in a safe - you gotta do something to keep it out of reach.)
Imagine C”V one of them drank a bottle of children’s Motrin…

For consequence, I think it’s enough to make them miss out on something fun they were Gonna do to clean it up and make sure to have a serious (not angry) talk with them about the dangers of getting out of reach medications.

amother

Cadetblue

Mon, Apr 08 2024, 12:32 am

amother OP wrote:

This is your consequence for leaving little kids unattended while you sleep.
Young kids need supervision.

amother

Cadetblue

Mon, Apr 08 2024, 12:35 am

amother Dimgray wrote:

Been there done that - it was with a more dangerous medication that we were worried they ingested.

For consequence, I think it’s enough to make them miss out on something fun they were Gonna do to clean it up and make sure to have a serious (not angry) talk with them about the dangers of getting out of reach medications.

Kids should not be punished by missing out on something fun, due to mom's negligence. It's not their fault that they were unsupervised & they shouldn't be punished for it.

amother

Dimgray

Mon, Apr 08 2024, 12:52 am

amother Cadetblue wrote:

Kids should not be punished by missing out on something fun, due to mom's negligence. It's not their fault that they were unsupervised & they shouldn't be punished for it.

I disagree. If kids make a mess, with anything they need to stay to clean it up. When kids take out toys they need to know that they will need to put it away before they do anything fun. If kids decide to take all their tiny Lego and scatter it around the house they need to pick them all up before moving onto something else.

If OP’s story happened with my kids and we were going to go to the park that morning - after breakfast we would have to clean up the mess they made instead.

amother

Red

Mon, Apr 08 2024, 9:09 am

amother Dimgray wrote:

Yes, they have to clean it up.
You don't have to make them not go somewhere in addition.

If anything, you can say "now we will have less time at the park because we had to clean up". And what if you weren't going anywhere that morning?
again, kids that age should be supervised, it's really the parent's responsibility.

amother

Cadetblue

Mon, Apr 08 2024, 10:04 am

amother Dimgray wrote:

Yes, they can help clean it up. But punishing them by not going to the park, is just mean and unfair. Mom was negligent, kids shouldn't be punished for that.
And why are vitamins within kids reach & not locked up?

amother

Mon, Apr 08 2024, 10:57 am

amother Cadetblue wrote:

Vitamins were not within reach. Son just climbed up onto the counter and took them off. And he's never done that IN the past so I would consider this a normal and safe place. I'm sure if you take a poll most families don't have a lock on their medicine chest with normal kids around... He you want to ensure safety you can lock up your detergents and oils too cuz hey they might decide to drink full bottle... My child is many times up from as early as four thirty or five and abbot fall back asleep. I don't believe in torture of him staying in bed awake more than an hour so I allow him to come out. He usually looks at books plays and yes sometimes makes a mess with the toys or takes a nosh without asking but I usually don't comment cuz yes I know I chose him to be unsupervised. But I seriously don't think that he will have a functional and calm Mom if I stay up with him from so early. And experience taught me he's safe and is doing fine and if he wants something he doesn't hesitate to wake me. So this mischievous vitamin playing was once a year happening and they weren't consuming they know it's dangerous they just made a huge mess and money loss. I know I was enabling this to happen but if I don't teach them to take responsibility why should they care to do again? Or similar. They know it's totally wrong.