Son has anger management issues

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Forum -> Parenting our children

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amother

Thu, Apr 11 2024, 7:55 am

I’m at my wits end, my 11 year old son has extreme anger issues. Anything he is upset about he will fly into a rage. He throws objects across the house, my walls are full of marks, I feel like my house is getting destroyed from his temper. This morning, he was angry about something and he threw a stuffed animal at me and it landed in my eye. Somehow he always takes his anger out on me Sad

I worry he will grow up abusive.

I also think my husband plays an issue, he’s extremely critical to my son, well, critical to all my kids but my son is the oldest so he expects more from him. And I think that plays an effect in my sons behavior. I don’t know.
I hate parenting a difficult kid, I hate my husband, he’s so clueless and rigid. Life is just so bleak for me now, I feel so trapped and miserable and yes I take a small dose of an antidepressant.

oneofakind

Thu, Apr 11 2024, 8:04 am

Your son needs therapy with someone who will work with your husband and you as well. It's not hopeless but it needs to be taken care of.
Many hugs

amother

Thu, Apr 11 2024, 8:21 am

Yes he sees a therapist. I usually Take him and speak to the therapist on my own, not my husband. It’s a good idea for us to go together though. She’s a local non Jewish therapist but my son seems to like her..

amother

Amaryllis

Thu, Apr 11 2024, 8:24 am

amother OP wrote:

My personal experience was that individual therapy without family therapy session is a waste of time.
Ask for therapy session with your son and your husband! Therapist should lead the discussion.

amother

Oak

Thu, Apr 11 2024, 8:27 am

All 3 of you need therapy pronto.
The longer you wait the harder the repair

amother

Forsythia

Thu, Apr 11 2024, 8:31 am

Look into High functioning ASD for both husband and son

amother

Thu, Apr 11 2024, 8:41 am

Look into High functioning ASD for both husband and son[/quote]

In the back of my mind I thought about this. My husband is very rigid and I wonder if it’s asd. Although he is social and ok at small talk.
But he doesn’t get emotions at all.
My son too seems to lack empathy
How would I find out about asd without my husband getting insulted?

amother

RosePink

Thu, Apr 11 2024, 8:48 am

My son was like that. We tried therapy, made zero progress and wasted thousands of dollars. We put him on Zoloft and he calmed down.

amother

Papayawhip

Thu, Apr 11 2024, 8:58 am

If you're interested in pursuing this route, you can look into pandas/pans/lyme/brain inflammation. My child's rages significantly reduced when we addressed diet, infections and inflammation.

amother

Forsythia

Thu, Apr 11 2024, 10:49 am

amother OP wrote:

Look into High functioning ASD for both husband and son

In the back of my mind I thought about this. My husband is very rigid and I wonder if it’s asd. Although he is social and ok at small talk.
But he doesn’t get emotions at all.
My son too seems to lack empathy
How would I find out about asd without my husband getting insulted?[/quote]

Start with googling high function ASD marriage and see the prices of the puzzle click.

Google high functioning ASD in adolescence boys

No need to get an official diagnosis yet or your husbands agreeing on the diagnosis for you to get some clarity on how you can best deal with your situation

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