when ppl compliment you on your kids, and you know the truth

ShakleeMom

Mon, Sep 01 2008, 4:06 pm

suppose someone says your kid is brilliant! or, your kid is so well mannered! but you know this kid gives you such heartache and to see him/her eating with spoon for more than 30 seconds is like splitting the sea... would you just smile and accept graciously?

yo'ma

Mon, Sep 01 2008, 4:12 pm

What children do inside the home, is not necessarily what they do outside.

Fox

Mon, Sep 01 2008, 4:27 pm

Not only would I smile graciously and accept the compliment, but I would pass it along to the child, who is then more likely to live up to the truth of it.

When it comes to kids -- or most other things -- you might as well enjoy unexpected compliments and other positive feedback when they occur. Trouble will find its own way to your door anyway!

dora

Mon, Sep 01 2008, 4:30 pm

smile and say thank you. Sometimes others see attributes in our children that we miss, it helps us view our children in a different way.

flowerpower

Mon, Sep 01 2008, 4:45 pm

Listen, at least someone thinks they are good, appreciate that!

grin

Tue, Sep 02 2008, 2:02 am

try not to ever speak badly of your kids to others (outside of the family) unless it's someone close. Just smile graciously, say B"H and thank them

mimivan

Tue, Sep 02 2008, 2:13 am

Yes, I learned in a chinuch class to focus on the positive (this can be hard to do since the negative is designed to get on our nerves. Our kids press those buttons of ours that badly need pressing so we can work on our own middos...got that idea from JerusalEmas pep talk this week!) But sometimes when we focus on our child's positive traits, the negative disappears or becomes less pronounced or important (depending on whether it affects their behavior or our view of it)

I only taught one year, but I was amazed how often during parent teacher conferences, parents were surprised to hear me talk about their child's good qualities. "She's well-behaved?! But you should see her at home!" one said.
One mother, before I said anything, said "I want to apologize for my daugther's behavior. She must be driving you crazy." This was one of my best pupils! A bit lebediche, yes, but smart as a whip and not unmanageable. And I wasn't exactly Mr.Chips (I.e. the ideal teacher)

I also saw the opposite, parents of problem kids who argued with me when I mentioned issues, but mostly it was the other way around...parents who were overly apologetic for their kids.

Ima'la

Tue, Sep 02 2008, 4:14 am

Definitely accept graciously! And be glad the child at least behaves by others!

Can you imagine someone giving you a compliment and your own mother countering with something negative! (I know you probably don't mean in front of the child, but still - y'never know what will be repeated.)

happymom

Tue, Sep 02 2008, 7:52 am

just because they are one way sometimes doesnt mean its always the case. sometimes kids act up and doesnt mean thats thee way they are really...

if someone compliments them it means thats how they see them or thats how they are acting at the moment so its a real compliment

downsyndrome

Tue, Sep 02 2008, 8:27 am

Thank Hashem that their home behavior doesn't spill over to outside-the-home and just smile smugly.

Ima'la

Tue, Sep 02 2008, 2:06 pm

downsyndrome wrote:

Thank Hashem that their home behavior doesn't spill over to outside-the-home and just smile smugly.

I like that part! LOL