my mother in law dosn't know how to cook

bubby

Wed, Sep 24 2008, 5:21 pm

This is a REALLY tricky one. Short of Puke

at everything you should bring some things over that you all will eat. Or you can eat first at home & just push the stuff she gives you around the plate.

When my father was in the army, his fellow soldiers wanted to know if it was part of Kashrus that Jews ate undercooked cake...my grandmother killed even previously dead food. She used to send him raw cake, moldy salami...he was his own private army during the post war national service days. And he had dysentry when nobody else did!!!

MY MIL was a great baker but her chicken soup...she pointed a wing at it & said hop in LOL

Salt? What's that?

ME? My kneidlach are like bricks & I do manage to kill a lot of stuff myself (It would help if I use all the ingredients!) but generally, I don't have too many complaints. Now Cookielady is THE BEST cook!! Closely followed by my DD's.

Your MIL might be happy to share some of the burden. In my experience, lousy cooks don't enjoy it.

pomegranate

Wed, Sep 24 2008, 5:56 pm

chavs wrote:

I havent seen the answers but, ohh, no it isnt ok.
How would you feel if she brought her own food when she came to you? I cant imagine anyone would even think of asking this.
As raisin suggested you can TACTFULLY ask if she would like your help with making some of the food because you'd love to help out.

I suggest you TACTFULLY answer and not bash others.

Barbara

Wed, Sep 24 2008, 5:59 pm

pomegranate wrote:

Fabulous wrote:

Why won't she eat your food?

I have no idea why. obviously she has some issues.. her own children don't understand a lot of things she does.

More than likely, she prefers her food very bland, and your spicier versions are not palatable to her. Think of it as the exact reverse of your thoughts on HER cooking!

No, don't bring your own food. Its insulting to her. Try this: *Mom, I hate for you to be doing all of that cooking! At least let me bring [insert here]*

amother

Wed, Sep 24 2008, 7:29 pm

wow I could of wrote this post myself.
just by me its the exact oppsite.
My mother cooks awful, really really bad and my DH mother cooks like an award winning chef- no kidding.
Before I got married I never really gave too much thought about my moms foods but after I got married boy did I see it.

Anyway My DH hates eating there meals and I dont know what to do because I want to go to my parents and my DH gets grossed out.
I cannot tell this to my mom as she will get highly insulted.
so what my DH does is before we go to any meal he makes a quick kiddush at home or eats a snack just so that he shouldnt be famished.

red sea

Wed, Sep 24 2008, 8:11 pm

my 2$-for the fish you can just overdose on horseradish you wont taste a thing, for the rest load on the s&p as was mentioned, eat s/t before you go there, dont eat there too often if you really cant stand the food. and if it is ever weekday - theres always ketchup.

amother

Wed, Sep 24 2008, 8:32 pm

I can't stand my mil's cooking but I love her would never say anything that would make her feel bad about the hard Yom Tov work that she put a lot of effort into preparing. Dh knows that I don't like it so much, so we always make sure to bring along plenty of nosh that we keep in our room. Usually my mil asks what we'd like her to pick up for us to keep in the house when we come to visit so I make sure to mention the foods I like and the fridge is always stocked. So I don't eat a whole lot at the meals cuz the food isn't that great, but at least I don't starve during the rest of the day.

amother

Wed, Sep 24 2008, 9:39 pm

I have had the same prob, but inlaws won't eat my food and won't come to me either. For the first year of marriage and also when pregnant I just passed on the fish. Now I eat it sometimes drowned in chrain. As per the rest of the food, I eat a ton before shabbos even though you're not really supposed to do that, and I bring food for shabbos morning that I claim is for my picky son embarrassed

so that I'm not too hungry by the meals... You can keep rice cakes or something in your room, we do that when we go to my sis for shabbos- dh doesn't like her "healthy" cooking...

ShakleeMom

Wed, Sep 24 2008, 9:42 pm

Once when we went ot the outlaws for Pesach, it was very busy as they were trying to make 8 potato kugels for Yom Tov. I offered to help and behind everyone’s back, did it MY way. Since then, whenever I come, I am booked for the kugels. Offer your help in a nice way… and then by mistake put in spices.

Also, it’s very possible that they don’t use sugar for diabetic reasons and spices for blood thinning issues or ulcers. May I suggests plenda for the fish and Mrs. Dash instead of salt? That’s how I cook for a sick couple when I do it for Bikur Cholim.

Back the to the MIL – mine officially no longer ads salt to the food and lets everyone add their own. And everything she cooks is botched. So we always take along cake when we go and fill ourselves up on it, in between meals. Also, we stopped going for Yom Tovs for that reason. Eeeeeeeeeeeeeow

Beauty and the Beast

Wed, Sep 24 2008, 9:55 pm

red sea wrote:

lol, even peoples 2 cents they put into conversations have gone up in price.. 2 dollars? lol..

now, seriously, I have the same problem. My MIL does not know what salt, pepper and spices are. she thinks they are all equally unhealthy. thankfully, we do not go there often, so that helps.

The first time we went to them, I used up the salt in the shaker, and in the pantry. I kept pouring and pouring, every time she would turn her back, I would shake some more.. I didnt want to hurt her feelings..
The second time we went to them, I decided to put matters in my own hand, and offer to help cook.
well, I offered to help cook the pesachdig chulent, and was happily chopping and stirring and SPICING, when my MIL happens to casually mention to me in her language, " make sure everyone else can eat it, not only you!!"
so that went to show me that she was a little insulted that I offered to help her to cook, she probably realized I wanted to have a hand in the kitchen to sabotage some of the dishes..
the whole yom tov, all my sister in laws, and brother in laws kept hissing at me to get into the kitchen and salt and pepper things..

I dont think this post will really help you with ideas, just only show you that you are not alone in this matzav...

greenfire

Wed, Sep 24 2008, 10:04 pm

pomegranate wrote:

amother wrote:

Sure she's not on this site? Wink

haha. no. she probably dosn't know how to read english.

but she can learn ... Twisted Evil

bubby my kids do that shove around the food when we are at people trick ... mine they praise (I guess I'm good for something) ...

who said you have to eat fish ... or drown it with some sauces ... hide food in your room so you don't starve (non-perishables of course) ...

amother

Wed, Sep 24 2008, 11:24 pm

My MIL is a truly awful cook but I would never offend her by showing up with my own foods. I would offer to make something but if she says no, then it's no. What I do when I go to her for meals is eat before so I'm not starving, then while I'm there try to make use of all seasonings and/or condiments put out on the table, and if something is absolutely inedible, just move it around on the plate. When she used to have a cat I would sometimes drop food for it when nobody was looking.