she's regressed and I need help!

pinktichel

Mon, Aug 17 2009, 12:11 pm

Dd is 2 yrs, 9 months and has been toilet trained for about 6-7 weeks. She was the one who insisted she was ready and took to it immediately, without any problems. Suddenly, over the past week or so she has been having at least 2 accidents a day.

What do I do to get her back on track? I've been taking her (sometimes physically picking her up and putting her on the toilet) every 45 minutes or so yet she's still having accidents. She just can't be bothered telling me any more when she needs to go. Every time I see her touching herself, I take her. What else can I do? I'm so angry right now, I wish I could put her back in diapers (I don't think she'd even care.) Obviously I wont do that but I sure wish I could!

mimivan

Mon, Aug 17 2009, 12:15 pm

the Exact same thing happened to me. I am eager to see your responses.

BTW didn't you have a baby somewhat recently? I'm thinking mine (although my baby is a year old) wants to be like the baby and get cleaned up by Ima...he was so proud of himself for going potty, but now he sees it is a lot of work and not so exciting.

I'm going to send him to cheder on Thursday without a diaper and with a change of pants and underwear and see what happens. I will warn the ganenette...I am hoping that peer pressure and encouragement from the ganenette will help him do what he needs to do.. since he already knows the technique and when he needs to go.

small bean

Mon, Aug 17 2009, 12:23 pm

my daughter was toilet trained at 2 and then had a couple month later like a week of accidents. I noticed that during that week she was unhappy with her teacher... her teacher was switched and she hasn't had an accident since. it was weird she was toilet trained at night and was having accidents and during the day. it took me a few days to realize that she just wasnt herself because she was stressed out and then I put it together. spoke to the head of her camp and the next day the teacher was switched and she was cured...........

pinktichel

Mon, Aug 17 2009, 12:32 pm

My baby is 19 months old, kh! LOL

So you put your son back in a diaper, or is this another child you're talking about?

I'm so frustrated because I expected this when we first started training her. We had smooth sailing all along and thought we were done. I'm going shopping tomorrow to buy her some new clothes because I can't wash her wet bottoms fast enough! Mad

I am going to try a star chart idea (taken from another thread) but I think I'm going to do it a bit differently. I'll give her a sticker for every time she uses the toilet and after 10 stars, she can get a prize. Maybe it'll also help her with her counting...

pinktichel

Mon, Aug 17 2009, 12:33 pm

small bean wrote:

interesting... I'm her morah/counselor though, so don't think that's it! Good job she's not going to school for many years... hopefully she'll outgrow her accidents by then!!

mimivan

Mon, Aug 17 2009, 12:58 pm

pinktichel wrote:

My baby is 19 months old, kh! LOL

that sounds like a great idea. I think I maybe got confused with pink bubbles who had a baby not to long ago, if I'm not mistaken.

with my son, I put him in pants in the morning and after 2 or 3 accidents, he's back in the diaper for the day (the idea is I can't clean up after him if he's making accidents 80% of the time...but it isn't working well if he doesn't seem to care one way or the other) . He gets a reward for making, so he'll make one time and then forget about it the other times...he says he just doesn't want to be bothered going...I can't "lay down the law" because then he'll make accidents to annoy me (he likes all the attention he gets getting cleaned up after and told the same spiel)...so instead of a power struggle, I've decided to see how it's going to go in cheder.

your star chart is a good one.

we are going on a lot of outings, so he is back in diapers when he is out...which isn't great, I know, but I'm out of ideas. He starts cheder on Thursday, so I am hoping the encouragment/peer pressure will help him through it (I.e. that's what did it for my first kid)..
If not, we'll adopt the star chart...I didn't do this before because I'm thinking he will just fall in line since he knows the routine, particularly if he likes cheder/the ganenette.

Also, with my first, pressure was counterproductive...the more I desperately wanted him to train the more he backed off..

having your as the ganenette might be a factor...she knows she will get more attention from you if you have to clean up her mess...so the star chart is good.

pinktichel

Mon, Aug 17 2009, 1:53 pm

There she goes again. For the third time today. This time, she was going around bottomless as I'm sick and tired of washing clothes and she did a tiny BM on the carpet! Mad

Dh had JUST taken her to try on the toilet and she didn't do anything.

I told her she had to clean it and her response was, "No! It's ewwy!" Dh did it for her ( Rolling Eyes

) cuz he was afraid she'd rub it in the carpet, but I physically put the wipe in her hand and walked her to the garbage.

I put a diaper on her (she usually wears a pull-up at night) and her pjs and she didn't seem to care in the slightest.

What do I do? How do I react when she does this? If I left her to clean it up, she'd just leave it there all day. She couldn't care less. Her little sister was more upset by it!

bubby

Mon, Aug 17 2009, 4:41 pm

Take away her "big girl" panties, but don't let her wear diapers. Or she'll do it in there & stick her hand in it Puke

Don't take her out. Let sis go out with Tatty but she can't because she has accidents. Cruel? No. Consequences. She knows the score & you know she understands. As long as she can get away with it she will. You will have to be tough. I had to, most people have this. She needs to feel the hurt. So far nothing is happening, so she doesn't care. Why should she? So she poops or piddles on the carpet. Mommy cleans it up & she still gets all her treats & fun. She's lazy & gets away with it.

Pinkie, YOU are the problem! Wink

pinktichel

Mon, Aug 17 2009, 4:58 pm

small bean wrote:

I don't like the idea of putting a diaper on them. because it's like giving them what they want. it's almost a reward. I like the chart idea, if do that for different things and it really helps.

I was in the process of getting her ready for bed anyway. Instead of a pull-up, I put on a diaper. I guess you're right though... Dh did ask me if that's what I really wanted to do, but I felt helpless and didn't have any bright ideas.

I'm going to make her a chart tonight and have it ready for her in the morning. She loves stickers so I'll let her put them up on her own, after she uses the toilet. I hope it will work!

Bubby, I am strict with her. I made her clean the couch earlier and she knows she has to undress herself. After she did it on the kitchen floor today, she asked me to read her a book and I calmly told her no and explained why. She fussed a bit and that was it. She doesn't seem to care, that's the problem!!

Surprisingly, we were out for a few hrs today and she was just fine. We only took her to the bathroom as soon as we got there, once while playing and then before going home. She also slept in the car for about 45 minutes and was totally dry. As soon as we got home, she had 2 accidents.

sneakermom

Mon, Aug 17 2009, 8:49 pm

That's why I feel the longer you wait to train the easier it goes. Yes sometimes the child appears excited to take on the new stage but has no real idea of the commitment involved.

I disagree with bubby about putting on real pressure. She is very young.

I have five suggestions.

1. Do that chart you were talking about but drop the earning something after ten times....maybe a little candy for each or a cute sticker. At this age saving up for something is too abstract and frustrating.

2. Give her zero attention for accidents. When she has an accident become sort of unavailable. If she really needs help changing then do it but almost without looking at her and then get very busy. Leave as much responsibility to her as you can.

3. Don't hover all day asking if she needs to make. It could make the calmest kid nervous. Let it be.

4. Praise her and clap with joy when she makes nicely on the toilet. Comment on her skills, her ability to hold it in until she reaches the toilet and then let it out just in time! She will be delighted.

5. Hold her and baby her some time during the day. Show her that you can cuddle and still be mommy's baby while making in the toilet at the same time.

Wishing you the best of luck and that this stage should pass so quick you will soon forget that it ever happened.

willow

Tue, Aug 18 2009, 1:04 pm

sneakermom wrote:

I agree with everything you said. My dd went through this too. I ignored it and even gave her the choice of diapers. B'h without the pressure of me hovering she did fine.

pinktichel

Tue, Aug 18 2009, 1:27 pm

Firstly, her diaper was dry this morning as her pull-up has been nearly every morning since we started training her. She seems to have pretty good control while sleeping (I also try not to give her too many drinks) but I'm definitely not even thinking of night training yet.

I've been giving a candy after every time she used the toilet today and so far, no accidents! Hooray

Her star chart is still in the process of being made...
Thanks everyone.... I'll keep you all posted.