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Forum -> Yom Tov / Holidays -> Chanukah
Presents or no presents?
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Do you give presents on chanuka?
Yes!  
 52%  [ 35 ]
No, and we live in EY.  
 7%  [ 5 ]
No, and we live outside EY.  
 40%  [ 27 ]
Total Votes : 67



Love My Babes




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Nov 29 2009, 11:50 am
we do the presents thing. I got them as a kid and I think its wonderful. my parents and in laws also buy gifts for the kids as well. chanuka is a beautiflu yom tov where we get to spend time with the family and getting presents adds to the fun. truthfully we usually get something new for most yomim tovim. usually to keep the kids busy on yom tov. doesnt have to be something major, but it helps on passing time during the long days at home.
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Raisin




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Nov 29 2009, 11:52 am
I'm not comfortable with the idea of gifts either, but we end up taking them to a toy store and buying stuff with their chanuka gelt anyway.
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Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Nov 29 2009, 12:24 pm
I can't imagine people nowadays (not 100 yrs before when an orange or dried fruits was definitely a gift) not giving gifts for Chanuka.
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raspberry tea




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Nov 29 2009, 12:32 pm
We never gave presents. But the kids have grandparents that do.
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Rodent




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Nov 29 2009, 11:51 pm
We are not in Israel and do not give presents for hanuka. We are shtark sepharadi modern orthodox in a non-Jewish area including our kids going to non-Jewish daycare where they are excluded from all the x-mas activities and the end of year concert. It is very much copying the x-mas tradition and I don't buy that they copied it from us.

The reason we don't give presents is that we feel it is the LEAST appropriate time to do so. Hanuka is about fighting assimilation, to copy Christians and give presents at this time is doing the exact thing that we are supposed to be fighting against. As such, we make a point to not give presents for hanuka. They usually get one present from my mother (or a family present) as she isn't Jewish and feels she can't have them miss out when the rest of the family are getting presents. I understand her point but feel bad as we cannot reciprocate.

Our kids get presents on their birthday and if I feel like giving them a present at another time I will do so 'just because', I don't look for excuses to give presents.

We don't give gelt either but that's just because it's not our thing.
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Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 30 2009, 6:21 am
Rodent I don't know but it's very hard when the children are in public school and not getting real presents. My mom and uncle were like that, their parents were modern but very old fashioned European... and boy were they jealous!
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merelyme




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 30 2009, 6:32 am
Ruchel wrote:
I can't imagine people nowadays (not 100 yrs before when an orange or dried fruits was definitely a gift) not giving gifts for Chanuka.


Ruchel, I usually agree with your posts but this one really got me going. I can't imagine you not imagining this.

This is your wake-up call. Many people - today, not 100 years ago - do not give gifts on Chanukah, beshittah.
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Isramom8




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 30 2009, 7:46 am
Giving these little gifts after candlelighting has brought delicious joy and togetherness to my family over several generations. It's a family tradition. We sing, dance, give inexpensive gifts, play dreidel and fry latkes. And we do it in the early evening, when during the year we're rarely together enjoying relaxed family life at that time. I have strong positive memories of this from my childhood, and I hope that so will my children. Anything bad about that?
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merelyme




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 30 2009, 8:29 am
Isramom8 wrote:
Anything bad about that?


chukas hagoy?
ask your lor.
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Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 30 2009, 8:32 am
My lor gives Chanuka gifts.
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Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 30 2009, 8:33 am
For many kids, Hanuka is one of the most Jewish period in the year. Jewish food, Jewish gifts, Jewish joy etc. Remove the gifts and many more will do Xmas or "Hanuka bush".
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Marion




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 30 2009, 8:51 am
We do gifts. Honestly, at yom tov the kids get clothes. On Purim they get treats (mishloach manot)...why can't they get a gift on Chanukah? Also, very honestly, we don't do "big" for birthdays. And anything we buy them now they share due to their ages and developmental stages. So I'd rather buy thing that's for both and say it's for Chanukah than buy two things that's for one or the other and the recipient doesn't actually get ownership over it.

Lastly, we have no tradition in my family of gelt, unless someone couldn't decide what to buy so they gave cash instead and said "go shopping". With little kids I would think coins are also dangerous.
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Grandmama




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 30 2009, 9:16 am
I don't recall receiving presents as a child growing up in Boro Park in the sixties. If anything, maybe a toy for .08 at G & Sons was a big treat. I did receive Chanuka Gelt. Like maybe a dollar or two, maybe five as I got older. My parents usually gave my children gelt over the years, increasing it with age, and then would give us the parents, at least $100 per family.
Nowadays, I buy my grandchildren each 8 gifts, they are stacked up so that they can open one each night. Some are small and some large, only one is an expensive one (like $50.) The rest can be books, small toys, or even pajamas! I give the parents $1,000. But then again, I give them this amount a few times a year, on birthdays, on Purim, anniversaries, and whenever they have a new baby.
I also give my married kids gifts, why not? Its fun.
Gift giving is my hobby. And that means I will use any occasion to give a gift, or give one when there is no occasion. My grandchildren will get something almost every time we see each other, even if its a little car costing $1.00.
So in addition to Chanuka, every possiblility is used for generous gift giving. My pleasure.
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Isramom8




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 30 2009, 9:33 am
Grandmama, you sound like one fun savta!

Gelt, by the way, backfires when young kids try tp pry open the coins to get at the chocolate inside...
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manhattanmom




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 30 2009, 9:59 am
My birthday--as well as my sister's and brother's birthdays--(and now my son's!) are all Chanukah week.--actually none of us were actually born on Chanukah but all in the same week on the English calendar mid-December so we all always just got one gift for birthday and Chanukah.
But for Chanukah exclusively, we got some money from my grandparents.
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gryp




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 30 2009, 10:20 am
Never got gifts and never saw a reason to start giving them.

Chanukah gelt, yes. But not much. LOL Some relatives send and I buy the kids toys with that (much later on, long past Chanukah already), letting them know that it's not from me but from whichever relative.
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flowerpower




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 30 2009, 11:23 am
I get something for dh and the kids(nothing major)and for my dear parents and in laws.
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bandcm




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 30 2009, 7:14 pm
We give Chanuka gelt. There is no Jewish custom to give gifts on Chanuka, only money.
Each child then takes off a fifth for tzedoka, and then we take them to a toy shop where they spend the remainder on something.
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Maya




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 30 2009, 7:23 pm
We do our gift-giving on Purim.
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Marion




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Dec 01 2009, 1:42 am
Quote:
Each child then takes off a fifth for tzedoka


That's insane...I understand teaching taking ma'aser, but why 20%?


Quote:
chukas hagoy


I was thinking about this. And then I went to a shiur last week, and someone asked about wearing denim. The rav answered that there's nothing actually wrong with wearing denim, just some don't doing it because it has the "scent of the world" on it rather than something specifically Jewish. Someone else, of course, followed that up with the expected comment that the garb of the charedim (both litvish & chassidish) also has the "scent of the world", seeing as how it was adopted from the noblemen of Eastern Europe at the time. To this the rav answered that once it is adopted by Jews it becomes something Jewish and loses its "scent of the world".

I believe the same argument could be used for Chanukah gifts. There are enough Jews (good, kosher, halachic Jews) who have adopted gift-giving at Chanukah time that it is no longer "chukat hagoyim".
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