Childcare for Grandparents

OldYoung

Thu, Apr 23 2009, 12:14 pm

Childcare as in assistance from the government? I thought that a childcare provider has to be licensed, in order to get assistance toward it. Is your mother licensed?

If you want a tax credit for it, then she has to report the income when she files her taxes, and give you some sort of receipt. You'd have to ask an accountant what exactly needs to be in the letter.

Op, I totally understand. It's not weird at all. In fact, I think it's a Bracha for family to be able to help family, rather than family having to look elsewhere for help. Halevai we should all be doing well financially to not need any assistance at all!

ss321

Thu, Apr 23 2009, 12:22 pm

Ruchel wrote:

she is asking for money to keep her grandchild? shock

sorry, I have no advice.

that was kindof my first thought too.

I guess ask her how much she is looking to make for the services rendered?
I pay between 8 and 9 an hour but I live in Brookyn. dont know if that helps, as a gauge.
That is also for in home childcare- I dont bring my kids to someones house, and its private
if you are driving to her house (vs her staying at her house and you bring the kids to her) that is technically an inconvenience from your standpoint, and a convenience for her, I think in general you make less in that case?
I really dont know.

Twoisacharm

Thu, Apr 23 2009, 12:38 pm

u pay how much?!?!?!?!! thats insaaaaane......

no I drive to her - she provides pampers and formula as well as any food items (she also buys clothes for her hooooray!!!!!) so I think - no wait - I know she deserves money for her time and effort spent in making sure my child gets the best care possible - y is this hard to understand.....if I would send anywhere else there is noway she would get a walk in the fresh air or get food the way I want it given

let me give you an example and I really dont want this to be knocked as its NOT an american thing to do nor is it endorsed by my pediatrician, nevertheless it works amazingly well for me!!!

so I start feeding my children regular food from the age of 10 weeks - they grow up happily,allergy free, adventurous eaters at least ds did and dd is well on the way!!! they NEVER eat jarred foods (not that im knocking ppl who give jarred foods!!) but get fresh boiled veg and in season fruit daily......now tell me which childcare center would boil up a carrot and potato mash it and feed it to a 3 month old?????

ss321

Thu, Apr 23 2009, 12:49 pm

Twoisacharm wrote:

I dont mean to criticize you! do what works for you Smile

Now that I actually did the math and calculated the hours my babysitter actually works (this year is a major exception, but in the past, it has been around 60 hrs per week), we are paying much less than that. I dont know where I got that 8-9 figure from, I think I multiplied by 5 instead of 8 I dont know, math isnt my thing, forget it. We paid her ~325/wk (sometimes more sometimes less) and she cleaned and helped alot in the kitchen too (prepared entire meals for me sometimes. And she was pretty flexible, like when I needed her to come at 6 am, she was here. stay till 8? she did. my hours are erratic, so I need someone like that. At any rate, for full time private babysitting at home, usually over 3 is standard. I have friends who pay much more than that for people who are really there for the 'standard' 8-5 40-45 workweek

Its great ur have your mother to help. I dont know where youre from (you stated something about it being the american way or s/t?), but in my community, many of my friends have parents who help out a few days per week, and I cant imagine the parents charging or anything. so that acme as a shock to me, thats all. My mom has taken my kids to the pediatrician many x's, mom and MIL have both watched the kids when I had to get to school and my babysitter was sick or something...the only family members I "pay" are my youngest sisters and SILs for babysitting, they love getting money its fun for them.....

I am very conservative when it comes to parenting (ie dont do any of the crunchy stuff, follow ACOG/AAP recommendations to the best of my ability, strong believer in evidence based medicine and all that), but I dont see why anyone would have a prob with you giving you 3 mo old mashed carrots! I think we started our kids on solids (baby "first-foods" like carrots and applesauce) at 4 months. I think the rice cereal was at about 14 weeks or so.

Twoisacharm

Thu, Apr 23 2009, 12:58 pm

wow ur a minority with the cereal giving lol usually I get told off in a major way Wink

im from london originally but follow pretty much what my grandmother and mother did with their kids - I hate to talk about it and try to explain myself y a 4 week old gets juice etc (I went back to work at 4 weeks pp) which is y im so happy I send to my mother!!! no questions asked more like directions are being given LOL

she wouldnt make me give her money - she was just asking if there was anything the government gives for family childcare and I had no clue so figured I would ask!

Seraph

Thu, Apr 23 2009, 1:11 pm

I think its normal to pay your mother to watch. When my mother watches my son on occasion, I don't pay, because then its a favor, and she can tell me "no, sorry, that doesnt work." but if you rely on her on a regular basis, that means that she is committed and cant commit to anything else, and that is a regular job, and quite an inconvenience. I think it would be rude to ask a parent to watch your kids full time, on a regular basis, and expect it as a free service. Parents have life as well, they don't "owe it to you" to watch your kids, and I think its fine what you're doing.
When my babysit my nieces and nephews, I get paid as well. But sometimes I watch them as a favor. It depends on the convenience or inconvenience it causes, and watching someone full time on a regular basis is quite inconvenient and deserves to get paid.

ss321

Thu, Apr 23 2009, 1:40 pm

Twoisacharm wrote:

wow ur a minority with the cereal giving lol usually I get told off in a major way Wink

I think that might be because in general, many posters on this site are VERY pro nursing. And of those, many nurse exclusively for an extended period of time. so giving food that early is thought to interfere with the nursing? (or maybe just to interfere with the nursing clean? IDK)
I havent really heard that many pediatricians be that anti-giving of food. 3 months IS young, I am not disagreeing. but IIRC (and this is going back two years), when we actually had a nutrition block, the handout said 4 months for starting mashed veggies, six months for other foods. I am gonna go try to find the power point now, its making me nervous. Point is, Im sorry you got told off, its not that crazy what you are doing!

I wouldnt give a 4 wk old juice, but my kids by 4 wks had had quite a bit of formula. with my first, I was in school full time, and no I wasnt going to pump every hour, wasnt going to work. Juice (apple Im assuming?) I would really not recommend because of the sugar content and lack of nutrition. But if your kids are healthy and happy, then I guess thats all thats important now, no point crying over spilt milk? Wink

Twoisacharm wrote:

she wouldnt make me give her money - she was just asking if there was anything the government gives for family childcare and I had no clue so figured I would ask!

OH!! that is something else entirely.
well in that case, yes. there is a statewide program I believe, where they will give you a childcare rebate, if you make less than a certain combined amt (IIRC its 30-40K but dont quote me on that). IDK if the rebate is only given if your kids are in a licensed childcare facility, honestly, I doubt it - since the $ is going to YOU not the childcare provider - and many people dont want their kids in day care and would rather have them at home!
Your best bet would be to ask an accountant. To the best of my knowledge that is the only one available.
Many employers offer $ towards child care or towards the amt paid for transporting your kids to/from childcare, etc. Worthwhile to ask....
hope that helps Smile

small bean

Thu, Apr 23 2009, 1:50 pm

there is a program that pays for childcare. I think the rules are there has to be less than 5 kids in a private house and the house has to be safe for children. they come down and check. google childcare assistance program and whatever state you live in. I dont know much about it because I dont use it.

I totally understand the feeling of wanting to pay your mother to watch. my grandmother has my baby everyday from 9-2 gives her food from her house and takes care of her just like I would. I would love to pay my grandmother but she would never let, she think I'm doing her the biggest favor by letting her babysit my kid. my mother watches my kids from 3-5.30 every day. I would love to pay her also but she would also never let. I feel like im totally taking advantage of them.