Interview with my grandfather

sequoia

Sun, Jan 24 2010, 6:28 am

I interviewed my grandfather, who was born in 1916 in Berditchev.

My grandfather has always been my best friend and most honest critic. He has been through three wars, emigration, and heart surgery. For the past eight years he has been taking care of my grandma day and night since she had a stroke.

He is the person I respect most in the world.

I am posting this here because I think people might be interested in what he has to tell about his childhood. If anyone has criticisms or unkind remarks about frumkeit level I would ask that you not share them on this thread.

Interview with my grandfather:

Sequoia: tell me a little bit about your childhood.

Grandfather: Well, Berditchev was really a thriving commercial center. There were lots of schools. There were fairs that drew people from the whole empire. There was a Russian Orthodox church, a Lutheran church, and many shuls. We had a shul right down our street. I remember going there. On Simchas Torah, my favorite holiday, we would all dance with the Torah together, and the men would give me a bit of vodka. They called me “Abremele.”
We lived in a beautiful three-story house. The first floor was the store. The second floor was our apartment. We had a very nice apartment with two balconies. My father was a merchant of the First Guild. He was a furniture maker and a very well-respected man in the community. My grandfather learned all day, while my grandmother managed the store.

S: Did you observe Shabbos?

G: Yes. We had two servants, a Jewish one and a Russian one. The Russian one did everything on Shabbos. The Jewish one was named Ruchel, and I really loved her. I loved her so much that my sisters got jealous. They thought I loved her better than them. Later she went to Kiev and became an important Communist functionary.

S: How many sisters did you have?

G: Three sisters, older than me. Their names were Clara, Fanya, and Polya.

S: No, what were their real names?

G: Chaika, Faiga, and Pessia.

S: What was your Jewish education like?

G: The Rabbi came and taught me. Most of the boys had individual lessons with him. He taught me Hebrew, and I could read fluently. But I didn’t understand what I was reading.
I was eight when my father died suddenly of a heart attack, and I said Kaddish every day for a year. Every day I went to shul. My older brother David was away, studying in Kiev, and though I was the youngest in the family, there was no one else who could say Kaddish. So I did. I still remember it. It’s the only prayer I remember.

S: Did you have a Bar Mitzvah?

G: I don’t remember any sort of celebration. After I turned thirteen I laid tefillin every day, for quite a few months. But then I was accepted into the Young Pioneers at school and I told my mother I wasn’t going to lay tefillin any more.

S: Did she cover her hair?

G: She wore a hat when she went out, all women did. At home she wore a doily. I remember that she lit Shabbos candles.

S: Did you ever go to the mikvah?

G: Yes, I remember my father taking me sometimes.

S: Did he have a tallis?

G: Of course! He prayed with a tallis every morning.

S: Do you remember if you had anything for your third birthday?

G: Well, it wasn’t really the time for parties. It was the war, we always had soldiers quartered with us. Who didn’t pass through Berditchev? Everybody did! The reds, the whites, the Germans. *chuckles* And they all stayed with us! They were generally very nice, very polite. The Germans took me to the Lutheran church and the priest gave me sour cream. I remember that.

S: Did you speak Yiddish?

G: My parents and grandparents spoke Yiddish to each other. They spoke Russian as well. I’m afraid no one speaks Yiddish anymore.

S: What were your parents’ names?

G: My father was called Hillel. My mother’s name was Malka. According to my passport I am Abram Hillelevich. Most people called me Abram Ilyich but the anti-Semites at work called me Abram Hillelevich. My grandfather’s name was Akiva.

S: Was it an observant community overall?

G: Yes. But you know, education was very valued. We all strove to get a good education.

freidasima

Sun, Jan 24 2010, 6:44 am

Sequoia, this is testimony to an entire era....it is wonderful that you had the zechus to interview your grandfather and that you learned so much from him. Imagine, at eight in such a situation to go and have to say kaddish for your father? And so incredible that after everything that he went through in communist russia afterwards (I assume, the interview doesn't include it...) he still knew that he was Jewish!!! And wanted to remain a Jew!

That is a different kind of mesirus nefesh than the ones we usually read about...and a very very real one for those times.

And so many of us don't know our great grandparents' names, you are lucky to have that much information.

Thank you for posting this!

Isramom8

Sun, Jan 24 2010, 7:24 am

Very poignant about him saying kaddish for a year at age 8, and remembering that prayer his whole life. And very informative that all the ladies wore hats when they went out. Thank you!

sarahd

Sun, Jan 24 2010, 7:53 am

Fascinating interview. Would it be possible to continue interviewing him about life later on? He must have gone through a lot during the famine, the purges, the war, the Doctors' Plot. I would really be interested in reading more about his life, and I believe that as much as you respect him now you would respect him even more if you knew what he went through during his life.

When I was in Ukraine, I was privileged to hear the life stories of a few older people and I am in awe of how much they lived through and how they remained sane despite it all.

BTW, it's interesting that your grandfather says no one speaks Yiddish anymore (and I presume he means that he doesn't either.) The first time I was in Ukraine I was amazed at how many people - and not only the elderly - did speak Yiddish and in fact, it was our primary means of communication.

Another BTW - did your grandfather call it a tallis or a tollis?

Seraph

Sun, Jan 24 2010, 8:21 am

Thank you for sharing, sequoia. I too would be interested in hearing more about his life.

sequoia

Sun, Jan 24 2010, 2:24 pm

sarahd, I do know a great deal about my grandfather's life because I've always been interested and we're always been close. He tells me honestly although without unnecessary details (in terms of the war, for instance).

I suppose very few people in Kiev spoke Yiddish, and both he and my grandmother moved there when they were young. (My grandma is from Vinnitsa).

I have a much more formal interview about his experiences in the war, which he did for a book about Jews in the Red Army. I'll do my best to transcribe and translate it if people are interested. Or we could wait for the book LOL

sarahd

Sun, Jan 24 2010, 2:30 pm

sequoia wrote:

That's where I was working when I was in Ukraine. Smile

And where I heard those hair-raising stories about people's life experiences. (One woman read to my friends and me her Holocaust memoir, written in Yiddish, about how she survived the war in Vinnitsa.)

I'm glad you know about your grandfather's experiences. I think it's so important to record these things for posterity, so we should appreciate where our ancestors came from and what they had to go through. I wish these stories could be videotaped, sort of like Spielberg's Living Testimony (sic?) project.

sarahnurit

Sun, Jan 24 2010, 5:51 pm

Sequoia, my husband's family is from Vinnitza!!!!
Their last names are Popivker, Mertuta, Riminik, Dolgina...any bell ringing?
This is so exciting!
From my husband's accounts, Vinnitza had a very large Jewish population, and the old generation spoke Yiddish, but my dh's parents don't speak Yiddish anymore, even though they understand it...

egam

Sun, Jan 24 2010, 10:40 pm

My grandfather was from Vinnitza as well. As for Yiddish, it depends what part of Ukraine you are from. In the western Ukraine Yiddish was kept alive as opposed to eastern, more industrialized part of Ukraine. Also in big cities you could hardly hear it, as opposed to some small ones with big Jewish population. As my FIL says in his village even non-jews spoke Yiddish in pre-war time.

chabadshb

Sun, Jan 24 2010, 10:54 pm

sarahnurit wrote:

My dh also is from Vinnitza Smile