Longest Serving 'Agunah' Finally Breaks Free After 48 Years

ChossidMom

Sat, Feb 20 2010, 4:28 pm

ora_43 wrote:

Raisin wrote:

Funny how you never hear of male agunas, although it is theoretically possible. I guess women are just nicer people.

In Israel at least, there are actually slightly more men whose wives refuse to accept a grant than women whose husbands refuse to grant one.

But it's not the same. Even if a man doesn't have permission to remarry, if he starts a new relationship it's not an aveira of arayot, and if he has children with another woman they aren't mamzerim.

I know a man whose wife would not accept a get from here for the last 20 years (maybe more). A few years ago she finally agreed. Know why? He gave her EVERYTHING. But at least he was free to remarry, which he did B"H.

Raisin

Sat, Feb 20 2010, 5:10 pm

ChossidMom wrote:

ora_43 wrote:

Raisin wrote:

Funny how you never hear of male agunas, although it is theoretically possible. I guess women are just nicer people.

so I wonder why there were no newspaper stories about him and his case?

It still seems to me that men are more likely to withold a get, especially if they are less frum then thier wife and therefore don't care if they can remarry halachically or not.

Mommy3.5

Sat, Feb 20 2010, 9:53 pm

Many men remarry without a get, Rabbeinu gershon or not....

Not giving a get for 48 years is absolute evil. Mazel tov to this poor women. May hashem let this man burn in hell for the same amount of time he tortured his wife.

smilingmom

Sat, Feb 20 2010, 10:29 pm

Before a man can get a Heter Meah Rabbanim to remarry, he must first deposit a Get with a Beth Din. This prevents the husband from remarrying and leaving his wife an Agunah.

If the husband files for a civil divorce in NYS and refuses to give his wife a Get, he can at the very least be stuck paying extremely high alimony and at the worst case scenario, he can end up incarcerated for up to six months.

Merrymom

Sat, Feb 20 2010, 10:36 pm

I very much believe in "what goes around, comes around" and that the person being vindictive will eventually suffer for it. I in fact know of a very good story where this happened but I won't post here because I can't do it anonymously and I'm related to the people involved. I have no doubt that this old man suffered miserably while alive without a wife or someone to care for him and will only suffer more in the next world. It's kind of pathetic that a man will choose being unhappy so long as he can guarantee that his wife will also remain unhappy.

hadasa

Tue, May 04 2010, 3:39 am

I don't know much about this, but when my husband was in Kolel he told me a guy came asking for those with Smichah to sign on his Heter.
It would seem to me that once he has approval from a well-known Rav it shouldn't be so hard (or expensive) to collect 100 signatures.

Hadassah81

Tue, May 04 2010, 3:57 am

I cannot believe that Torah anctions what happened to this woman. There are things that can be done. Publically shaming the guy, picketting his business and so on. Frum communities should be making great pains to shun men who wont give gets, the MEN in those communities that is. This issue needs to be at the forefront and I'm glad to see that there are some Rabbonim who are finally starting to make efforts to protect women from men like this one.

Kol hakavod to this woman, unbelievable that she was able to remain on the derech and seemingly not consumed by bitterness at a lot in life most of us couldnt withstand. I have an Aunty who was in a relationship, the guy left her and she had wasted several years on him based on promises etc. She never married in the end, and never got the chance to have children, something that pains her to this day. Its not just that this woman couldnt remarry - but that she was robbed of the chance to have a family (unless she had with first hubby?). Makes me sick that someone could hide behind Jewish 'law' and use it as a weapon to inflict such suffering on another person.

A man who was holding his wife an agunah, or who remarried without giving his first wife a get would not be welcome in my home or around my family and I'd tell him so to his face, or my hubby would.

Miry613

Tue, May 04 2010, 5:38 am

unbelievable!!!!!!

This is a link on the Jewish Dutch network (NIK) of the documentary: Mekudeshet 'Sentenced to Marriage' About Agunot. The documentary is in Ivriet, only the presentation (few minutes) is in Dutch.
You have to have realplayer to watch it.
http://cgi.omroep.nl/cgi-bin/s.....30.rm

watergirl

Tue, Oct 19 2010, 12:17 pm

My own aunt was engaged to the love of her life for over 15 years. He was married before, and wanted to give his ex wife a get but she refused it! Neither of them are frum in any way, and she saw the whole idea of a get to be unfeminist and offensive. He actually still has a decent relationship with her, since they have children together. My aunt and him had to call off 2 weddings, because ex wifey said shed cooperate, then changed her mind. Since my grandfather was a rabbi (albeit cnoservative) she wouldnt marry him until his ex accepted the get. Finally, they were able to get married. It was my aunts first marriage at age 51. Sadly, this ex wife stole my aunts chance to give birth to a baby.