To all whose husbands work...what do you do?

Beingreal

Tue, Mar 08 2011, 7:59 pm

Ok...I have two questions to ask all of you out there.......

1. How does your husband juggle work, having supper, learning, finances and spending time with you? My husband works long hours and by the time he gets home it's 7 or 8 at night, has supper, learns and by that time it's 11 at night. How do you manage with it all?

2. I'm planning to do baby-sitting in my home next year. I want to hear what's the reasonable price to charge people and if they have more than one kid from the same family?

losingweight

Tue, Mar 08 2011, 8:27 pm

You are right. It's a juggling act. That's why us mothers tend to be tired. About charging for babysitting, where are located? Different communities charge differently.

shabbatiscoming

Wed, Mar 09 2011, 12:04 am

you are right, it is a juggling act. My husband gets home at about 6 pm. we eat supper, he gives my daughter a bath (thats his together time with her - very important Smile

) he goes to the pool and I chill at the computer Smile

The most time that we spend together is on shabbat really.

Life is a juggling act. Thats just how it is. I feel.

supermama2

Wed, Mar 09 2011, 5:31 am

1. We try to make the best of the time we do have together.

2. I think 800-1000 shekel is normal per month for a child...I don't know about in America now.

curlgirl

Wed, Mar 09 2011, 5:46 am

SarahO. wrote:

2. I think 800-1000 shekel is normal per month for a child...I don't know about in America now.

It really depends on the hours/ location.
In my area it's around 1700 for 7:30-4:00, sometimes including food.

Good luck!

SingALong

Wed, Mar 09 2011, 7:30 am

DH works long hours and sometimes is away overnight. He has a shiur every morning and twice on shabbos and sundays. Shabbos and Sundays are our family quality times together. We usually all chill out at home Sundays or he takes kids out so I can rest or do things around the house. DH and I used to go eat out once a week for alone time but that hasn't worked out in awhile so we try to sit down to eat supper alone together as much as possible, but he usually comes home too late for that. He takes care of finances at the office sometimes.

sky

Fri, Apr 29 2011, 9:16 am

In Lakewood average price is $4/ per kid. Its the same price even for multiples of the same family.

come up with guidlines in advance.

Do they pay you:
Over yom tov
Sick Days (theirs and yours)
Vacation Days
Legal holidays
maternity leave (theirs)

Who decides when a kid can't come because they are sick, what are the rules

Are there a minimum hours per day required (like they pick up 2 hours early for a dr appointment)

We make sure to eat a real supper together even if that is 8:30/9:00 pm.

Fri, Apr 29 2011, 9:52 am

Beingreal wrote:

My husband works long hours and by the time he gets home it's 7 or 8 at night, has supper, learns and by that time it's 11 at night. How do you manage with it all?

Yup, sounds about right.

We spend a few minutes together while dh has his (late) supper. Most of our family time is on Shabbat.

As far as how I "manage," I'm not sure what your question is. He and I each have household, family and work responsibilities. We try to support and help each other, and share/adjust the division of responsibility whenever it seems necessary.

shoshina

Fri, Apr 29 2011, 10:44 am

1. DH works absurd hours, unfortunately I do too. But we have certain "musts" everyday. He *must* learn. We *must* eat dinner together (even if I fall asleep). He *must* have 30 minutes or so to work out. I *must* have gotten outside for 30 minutes or so to walk. If we don't do these things, we really can't keep it all together. The trick we have found is that if work intrudes on home (which it does!) home must be allowed to intrude on work-- 30 minute walk during my lunch hour, he leaves 20 minutes early to do the grocery shopping etc.

2. Consider your insurance and what the increase in cost will be, and then prorate it against each kid-- I.e. if your umbrella insurance costs $250/month, make sure that cost comes back in how much you charge.

TwinsMommy

Fri, Apr 29 2011, 4:24 pm

my husband does dirshu every morning before minyan so he leaves the house around 5:45 before I'm up. he works till 4:30. he also works sunday mornings till noon, monday nights from 6:30 to 8:00, and tutors on sunday and tues nights. we see him from 4:45 to 8:00 most nights except mondays) so I think I have it good in terms of seeing him and having dinner with him. he's not home much but he's home at dinnertime/ bedtime hours.

gold21

Fri, Apr 29 2011, 4:39 pm

yeah, life is totally a juggling act for us. you know that book, "stop surviving, start living"? I think many of us are just surviving.

shabri

Sat, Apr 30 2011, 2:51 pm

DH is out from 8am-7:45pm. He comes home after our 3 kids are sleeping. We eat dinner together and then 2 days a week I go out to work and his chavrusah comes to the house and the other days he goes out to learn. Then he comes home around 11 and works on the computer until abt 1am or so.

So yes its hard. Besides our 1/2hr or so dinner, we instituted a weekly coffee date. We found mornings to be easier to go out than evenings so once a week he goes in 20 minutes late and we go out for coffee after the kids go to gan.

When do things get done? I deal with the kids baths/dinner/bed b/c he isn't home. Friday and motzei shabbos however, thats his job as I can't deal with it all 7 days. Shabbos is family time and sometimes Friday afternoons if we have time, we will go out together.

Ruchel

Sat, Apr 30 2011, 4:37 pm

When my husband worked he was home before dinner, we had time as a family, then dinner (also family time), then DD went to bed and we had hours.
He learned during commute (when not by car!) and breaks and lunch and if needed later at night after "my time" and/or early morning.

He always did the bath as bending gets the blood in my head which gives me migraines.

Of course we had shabbes and Sunday.

The only prob I think paternity leave should be much longer, like in the Nordic countries.

Debb

Sat, Apr 30 2011, 11:38 pm

My DH is in school and works full time. It is really hard but he makes sure to leave a half hour every night for us to spend together. Sometimes its only 15-20 minutes but its still a time I look forward to. We dont see each other for over 12 hours everyday so its something thats really important.