Feeling really down and depressed.

amother

Wed, Mar 09 2011, 5:46 pm

wow sorry OP that you are going through this. I am giogn through it for my child too. we are trying EVERYTHING and nothign seems to be working. I am going to give one last tryto a dr that looks at his nutrition etc. we tried behavior modification and so many other things. I've read every book, researched hours, spent every ounce of energy on this child. if this last try doesnt work I want to medicate, and this is coming from someone is against medication as an only attempt but I'm getting to the point where family life and school is too difficult to tolerate. so I have no advice buy just saying I am in the same situation

amother

Thu, Mar 10 2011, 5:35 am

OP here- I have had my son evaluated both by the board of ed and privately. BH there were no sensory problems. He currently gets a p3 every day in school and counseling 2 days a week out of school. My goal for next school year would be to push for a shadow Confused

Behavioral therapy I pay out of pocket for. The way I see it is although every day leaves me feeling like I just ran a marathon, when I get to the finish line thats when my reward will show. I convince myself that even though sometimes I don't REALLY know what I'm doing and sometimes I base my techniques on just what I feel like belongs, the dedication and devotion to this child has to be recongnized and has to go a long way. I pray that Hashem sees my efforts and just clears the paths for us, opens the right doors. Although is saddens me that so many of you are in the same situation, the fact that so many of you understand me makes things a little easier.

marina

Thu, Mar 10 2011, 5:38 am

amother wrote:

OP here- I agree with the above poster but you have to wonder how many kids that are diagnosed with ADHD really have it. Today there is no tolerance for ANY inattentiveness, any hyperactivity, any impulsivity and these are things that each child has. Some more than others which is what changes the outcome of the diagnosis. The terms are thrown around very, very easily today. I think my best bet would be to go for a second opinion, even though money is an issue and it is going to cost me a fortune. I always tell my husband if it was a health issue we would never think twice about the $, we would borrow, we would do anything. We have to view it in the same way, because its real.

The way any mental health diagnosis works is by looking at whether the condition interferes with daily life activities. So if your kid is super hyper and jumps on the beds and has a good time but there are no negative results and it doesn't interfere with his life on a daily basis, there is no disorder here. In contrast, if your child has no friends b/c he is too impulsive and says the wrong thing or studies for tests for days and then fails because he can't focus enough to write out all the answers during the testing period, that means his condition is affecting his daily life and is a disorder.

The same goes for anything else, anxiety, depression, etc. We are all a little bit hyper and anxious and sad. Whether this is a disorder depends on the extent to which it interferes with our lives. That is what all those checklists and forms are supposed to measure.

Isramom8

Thu, Mar 10 2011, 5:51 am

Why the assumption that medicating is an easy way out? Finding the right meds and dosages and moniering that is far from easy. And it isn't a magic solution either - the child still has ADHD. Problems come in when a child gets too old to accept perental decisions about taking medication and refuses. Get your child on a good course of meds while he is still young enough to benefit from your bearing responsibility for it, and give him the best chances at success from a young age. From a parent whose teen won't take meds, etc.

whimsy

Thu, Jun 23 2011, 7:46 am

Reading your post makes me sad realizing so many of us are having a hard time. I have a son we began to medicate at 5 1/2. before that even in preschool there were severe issues. we tried behavioral and I always joked he was starting to show symptoms at birth. I always knew something wasnt "right".

I really didnt want to medicate but no behavioral plan really helped enough. as my doc said a kid with adhd wasnt to do well but sometimes its beyond their control.

I hear what you are saying about self esteem, but I finally agreed to start meds when the therapist reminded me that we can control the way we act towards him, but we cant control how everyone else in the world will react. then I wondered if having him always kicked out of class, wasnt hurting his self-esteem evenmore!

when we did start meds, I found myself not only loving my child, but now liking him as well. im embaressed to say this was something new that allowed us to bond in wayss we couldnt before and for me to see how sweet this child was.

tweaking and finding the right meds is very hard, but I believe I would be hurting my son by not medicating at this point.

hatzlacha finding what is best for your situation!

amother

Sun, Jul 03 2011, 9:10 pm

One of my sons was similar to yours. I took him to get assesed at 6years old. This was way before ADHD was a popular term. I had read an article about ADD & took action. It was hard to accept that I would need to medicate him but it was harder to see a child destroying his self esteem & his future.
Yes Ritalin was a miracle, it did not replace good parenting but it made us & his teachers see him without "ADHD" clouding the issue.
He is now grown & has not taken ritalin for years. He knows all about ADHD & now knows how to manage himself & put stategies in place. Its not always easy for him but that's life. He's been succesful in school & now in Yeshiva, is very popular & has many friends. His high energy is channeled correctly & he gets things done.
I know many parents who refused to medicate their children. Unfortunately most have decided to self medicate themselves with drugs & alchohol. Please dont make a mistake they did, dont let your precious child become another OTD statistic.