FISHY COOKOUT THIS SUNDAY 2 DAYS B4 TISHA BEAV

cute mommy

Fri, Aug 05 2011, 12:23 pm

Hi my husband works in a company that is owned by a traditional jew. most co-workers are not jewish but everyone in the management is, but not necessarily frum. we usually get together with the company and families a few times a year . either for a dinner bar-b-q etc. now the boss decides to have one this sunday in the 9 days, and have 2 separate tables. one for the gentiles, and the other for the jews where fish instead of meat will be served. that I respect but why celebrate in the 9 days, 2 days b4 tisha biav? I am not mrs. frummy but I still find this weird and disrespectful. my husband sais he has to go cuz hes been in the company for like 6 years already and he has to show up to these things, hes not a rav and cant tell people what to do hes a worker like everyone else. do you guys think its still a good idea to schlep there with my 3 girls to a fishy party 2 hours away from home? or rather respect the 9 days better? would lvoe to hear your thoughts on this, thanks

zaq

Fri, Aug 05 2011, 12:55 pm

whew, I thought you were hosting a cookout and was on the verge of lambasting you with how inappropriate it is to host a social event, even if it is fish and no music it's violating the spirit yadda yadda.

sometimes you're better off having a nonjewish boss or colleague because a little knowldege is a dangerous thing. One who is totally ignorant can be told "we're in a period of national mourning and aren't permitted to socialize" without getting into nitty gritty detail. One who knows a little thinks he knows everything and believes his way is the right way.

I wouldn't go myself, nor would I take the children. 2 hours each way? For that I wouldn't take the children even on chol hamoed. You have the perfect out in saying the travel is too much for the kids in this heat.

DH is a different story. Is attendance actually expected, not just invited? Is this not strictly a social event but a work event? will business be discussed? Is the boss just ignorant, or is he doing this lehachis? (Methinks not, if he's having fish for those who observe the Nine Days.) Will there be music? DH should ask his rav.

Lovemylife

Fri, Aug 05 2011, 12:57 pm

It is not the company's job to respect the nine days.

It is your husbands job to decide whether he wants to attend.

If it were me, I would go. It an office party, its not a celebration.

ra_mom

Fri, Aug 05 2011, 2:14 pm

Lovemylife wrote:

It is not the company's job to respect the nine days.

It is your husbands job to decide whether he wants to attend.

If it were me, I would go. It an office party, its not a celebration.

I agree.