GOING OFF MY MIND!!! NEED SOME ENTERTAINMENT! PLSSSSS PPL

abmom

Thu, Apr 05 2012, 4:37 pm

I read your post on true or false and came here to post so I can write true. 25 minutes left! Hang on there!

Tzutzie

Thu, Apr 05 2012, 4:39 pm

thanks abmom. its 21 now!

abmom

Thu, Apr 05 2012, 4:45 pm

And since you're bored anyways you can celebrate post number 700 with me. Cheers

Maya

Thu, Apr 05 2012, 4:46 pm

Always keep a book in your bag for such emergencies. Or anything else you like to do in your spare time.

joy613

Thu, Apr 05 2012, 4:47 pm

Read up on old imamother threads. Like "The most embarrassing moment" ones. That will really keep you entertained.

Tzutzie

Thu, Apr 05 2012, 4:50 pm

abmom wrote:

And since you're bored anyways you can celebrate post number 700 with me. Cheers

its ur 700th post! Hooray

. u must be a realllll Chatterbox

! sooo just Oh go on

.... im anyway Not listening

but I sure am in the mood of Party

sooo

with a

. lets celebrate the occasion with cake

Tzutzie

Thu, Apr 05 2012, 4:53 pm

book won't work cuz its a public office. can't read a book will all 3 of my bosses + 1 male coworker are coming & going.
as for the funny old imamother threads, I've read those a year ago.... but I guess I can reread it now.. I probably have forgotten most of them already....

hahahaha this maintenance guy is shaking and moving according to the beat of the song he's listening to (on ipod) I can't laugh in his face so I'm laughing on here!

celestial

Thu, Apr 05 2012, 4:54 pm

Do you like politics? I just discovered this and think it is hilarious....does the link work for you?
http://hatthief.blogspot.com/2......html

runninglate

Thu, Apr 05 2012, 4:54 pm

tzutie, may I ask what on earth your job is? It sounds awwfully productive! Very Happy

seeker

Thu, Apr 05 2012, 4:57 pm

Killersudokuonline.com? Been a whole, hope I got that right...

Tzutzie

Thu, Apr 05 2012, 5:00 pm

celestial - thanks but its blocked.

runninglate - yeah it actually is... most of the time. just not now... we knit apparel and factory is out of the country. I take care of development & production samples. & development schedules & wip reports... as I said before, factory is closed now so I'm out of work!

Edited to add...

and I also do the colors... it's kinda fun... better than the order processing I did when I first started working here. and better than the shipping I did later on. its usually fun and colorful... and lots of the time stressful. especially when orders don't ship on time... or the one ordering the yarn miscalculated and we run out of yarn a few dozen short of the ordered qtty.... but anything is better than boredom!

Last edited by Tzutzie on Thu, Apr 05 2012, 5:04 pm; edited 1 time in total

celestial

Thu, Apr 05 2012, 5:02 pm

Filling in the New Republican Haggadah
So the National Jewish Democratic Council has an amusing post entitled The New Republican Haggadah.

However, the Haggadah was in general highly abridged and thus suitable only for Reform Jews, if that (it didn't even have the Four Questions). My goal is that it should be a full Haggadah from Kadesh to Nirtza. I'm not there yet, but here's what I've got so far.

Kadesh קדש
The bracha (blessing) is the same (mekadesh yisrael v'hazmanim plus ), but instead of reclining to the left while drinking the wine, Republican Jews of course recline to the right.

Urchatz ורחץ

Not only (as is traditional) is no blessing said (because we are not about to eat bread) during this washing of the hands, Republican Jews do not bother to get up to wash. Instead they wait for the water to trickle down (from the original)

Karpas כרפס
Traditionally, a green vegetable (such as parsley or lettuce) is dipped in salt water.
Republican Jews follow the ruling of the Rav Ronald Reagan that ketchup qualifies as a vegetable. Ketchup is (usually) not green, but green is the last thing any Republican would want to be.(from the original)

Yachatz יחץ

Most Jews break the middle matzah into two roughly equal pieces, replacing the smaller piece on the Seder plate and hiding the larger piece as the afikoman. At Republican Jewish seders, the leader (or in Republican parlance, the Seder CEO) to keep 99 percent of the matzah for himself and let the other participants share the remaining 1 percent.(from the original)

Magid מגיד

This is the part of the Seder where the story of Pesach (Passover) is told.

Ha Lachma Anya (Bread of Affliction) הא לחמא עניא

In this case it's technically this is the bread of the job creator so should be something like (Ha Lachma Borei Melacha) הא לחמא בורא מלאכה
"At more than 20 dollars a pound, this is the bread of the job creator . Let all who are hungry be declared ineligible for Food Stamps. Let all who are needy suck it up. This year we are in America. Next year may we demagogue Israel to all get-out. This year we are slaves to the income tax. May next year be entirely tax-free.

Four Question (Ma Nishtana) מה נשתנה

The child with the largest trust fund asks:

Why is this night different from all other nights?

On all other nights we eat food picked and processed by illegal immigrants that take jobs away from real Americans. Why on this night is our matzah watched in the field by old Russian ladies?

On all other nights we eat all sorts of vegetables except arugula; after all, we're not elitist organic-loving hippies. Why on this night do we eat only bitter herbs (maror).

On all other nights we only dip once. Why on this night will we give Obama 100% of the blame for a potential double-dip recession.

On all other nights we eat in whatever position we like, sitting up or leaning. Why on this night do we lean even farther to the right than usual?

The Pesach Story

We were slaves to Pharoah in Egypt. When God brought us out of there with a mighty hand and outstretched arm, we didn't hold onto the plantation mentality. If the Holy One Blessed Be He, had not brought our ancestors out of Egypt, we'd still be slaves to the Pharaohs in Egypt because private property rights are sacrosanct. Since God knows we're not wise or knowledgeable or familiar with constitutional law, it's required that we tell the story of how we left Egypt.

It is related that Eric Cantor, Paul Ryan, John Boehner, Kevin McCarthy and Dave Camp spoke all night in the Cannon House Office Building about cutting benefits for the poor until morning when their interns came in with coffee and said, "Sirs, the time has come for the vote to end Medicare as we know it."

Rabbi Elazar ben Azariah said "I am a seventy year old man, and all the days of my life I live in fear of having to go before the Obama death panels." Ben Zoma explains that "all the days of my life" refers to the fact that the death penal brigades may even fly to your house in their black helicopters and break down your door at night. The sages, however, say this refers to the fact that the Democrat party sheep saw Obama's election as the beginning of the times of the Messiah.

Blessed be the Omnipotent Invisible hand of the free market.

Four Candidates

The party speaks of four candidates: the simple candidate (Santorum), the wicked candidate (Paul), the candidate who does not know how to answer (Romney), and the candidate who thinks he's the wise candidate (Gingrich).

Instead of taking ten drops out of the wine cups for the plaques, we take them out for ten types of taxation. The income tax, the social security payroll tax, the tax on the tax on dividends, the gasoline tax, the property tax, the cigarette tax, the alcohol tax, the sales tax, the "fee" that is actually a tax by another name, and finally, the death of the super-rich parent tax.

In every generation, it is required for true red-blooded Americans to deny that their ancestors ever left the land of intolerance and poverty to immigrate to the United States.

Nirtza

Who knows one? I know one. Number One is the only guy I look out for.
Who knows two? I know two. Two is the only amendment in my copy of the Constitution.
Who knows three? I know three. Three are Newt Gingrich's wives.
Who knows four? I know four. Four are the candidates still running for the GOP nomination.
Who knows five? I know five. Five are the Supreme Court justices who will do our bidding.
...
Who knows nine? I know nine. Nine-nine-nine is the tax plan for me.
Who knows ten? I know ten. Ten grand is what Mitt Romney bets on a whim.
...

Tzutzie

Thu, Apr 05 2012, 5:06 pm

Yippy!!!!!!!! its 5. running.

celestial - thanks! I'll read up on it tomorrow. its gonna b another 4 hours of agony! and I'll share it with DH. he loves this stuff.

abmom

Thu, Apr 05 2012, 6:48 pm

Tzutzie wrote:

abmom wrote:

And since you're bored anyways you can celebrate post number 700 with me. Cheers

its ur 700th post! Hooray

. u must be a realllll Chatterbox

! sooo just Oh go on

.... im anyway Not listening

but I sure am in the mood of Party

sooo

with a

. lets celebrate the occasion with cake

Lol!

mommydiaries

Thu, Apr 05 2012, 8:18 pm

Try stumbleupon. If its not blocked its amazing

Mommy F.

Fri, Apr 06 2012, 10:28 am

right a list of all the things you are thankful for in life!

Tzutzie

Fri, Apr 06 2012, 10:52 am

hey ppl I'm back!

mommydiaries - its blocked
Mommy F.- I do that. in bed or on a leisure walk (in my head). Smile

but it is not a bad idea.... hmmm

Mommy F.

Fri, Apr 06 2012, 11:01 am

Make a cute Happy Pessah poem and print them out
for your family and friends, are you artistic?
You can print out a black and white pessach coloring sheet and color it in,
hang them up on your fridge?

Give them to your brother's twins? Wink

Tzutzie

Fri, Apr 06 2012, 11:11 am

Mommy F. ur cute! thank u all. I think I'm leaving. I just looked on the company schedule and boss wrote that office is closed from 11:00 today and HE TOLD ME last week that it will be like every other Friday... gonna double check and hopefully be on my way in 5 minutes.

mommydiaries

Fri, Apr 06 2012, 5:19 pm

I just googled how to unblock a website...
http://www.quickonlinetips.com.....ites/