do all 3 year olds understand rewards/charts?

Fabulous

Tue, Nov 27 2012, 10:13 am

bamamama, I don't disagree with you about toilet training but some kids are ready and just not motivated. That was my ds. I KNEW he was ready. He used to tell me that he had a dirty diaper and he understood the concept COMPLETELY. He just DIDN'T WANT TO GO IN THE TOILET. He couldn't be bothered. When I made it motivating for him (once he got over the first time actually going in a toilet), then it became a pattern and I was able to take away the "fake" motivation.

bamamama

Tue, Nov 27 2012, 1:01 pm

Fabulous wrote:

So we'll chalk it up to "my kids aren't a representative sample" Very Happy

bamamama

Tue, Nov 27 2012, 1:05 pm

MaBelleVie wrote:

Ok, bama, I think for the most part we are on the same page. I tend to reward with fun activities for the most part too (or parental attention in some form).

However, certain behaviors need more than that. For example, I want to put the baby to sleep. Toddler ds is driving his car loudly up and down the hallway. I offer x fun activity in exchange for him playing something quiet while I put the baby to sleep. He refuses. I try again, make it sound even more enticing. He refuses. What do I do? My options are:

1. Let him continue his activity, baby will be hysterical from lack of sleep.

2. Take away his car and listen to him tantrum. Baby will be hysterical from lack of sleep.

3. Suddenly remember that I have something VERY SPECIAL for him! A special chocolate chip for a boy who listens to mommy and plays quietly while his sister goes to sleep! Voila, the car disappears, he begins a quiet activity, and life goes on.

What would you do? If there are better options, I would love to know about them.

Honestly? I'd put a video on for him. Very Happy

But if a chocolate chip works, more power to you Wink

I didn't say I *never* gave treats/material rewards - just that I disagree with it as a matter of policy. I also recognize that I am very, very fortunate to have my DH around and participating in bedtime. DH occupies the bigs with stories while I put the baby to sleep. On the rare occasion where I have to put all 4 to bed myself, I nurse the baby while reading to the others then we turn out the lights and lay in the dark until everyone is asleep.

momfrombrooklyn

Tue, Nov 27 2012, 5:23 pm

I think that most 3 year olds need an immediate or slightly delayed praise/prize to connect it to the desired behavior. Bed time usually goes well because you followed the bedtime "routine" (bath, pajamas, story, shema etc.) in a positive but firm manner rather than a prize. I read an extra book if the kids to bed "nicely".