yearning to make aliyah but not practical

amother

Tue, Jan 27 2015, 1:59 pm

IME the only two REAL reasons not to make aliya are no prospect of making a decent parnassa, and if your kids are over age 8 or 9. The other reasons you give sound like excuses to me, as if you really really wanted to come, they would not be an issue.

Caring for parents can complicate matters but it should not stop you living your life. Your concerns about dress code are so superficial (I'm not attacking you here, chas vashalom, I'm just saying that it really doesn't have to be about that. I live in a DL community with a few black-hatters and NOBODY CARES. They are valued members of our community), they are not a reason to stay in chu'l.

As someone else posted above, to have a successful aliyah, you have to REALLY WANT IT, meaning you have to put up with the inevitable difficulties and adjustments, knowing that it's an investment for you, your kids and your grandkids bezras Hashem.

Parnassa is the biggest (only real?) barrier, but maybe the next 2 years, since your kids are still young you have some time to play with, is the time to invest in some retraining (and learning Hebrew)

The move here is not easy for anyone, we all left a lot behind, but I don't regret it one iota.

November

Tue, Jan 27 2015, 2:01 pm

Best time to make the move is with young kids. Just stating the obvious. Whether you move to Anglo or Israeli, the less acclimated you and your kids are to your present environment, the easier it will be to get used to a whole new environment, schooling, values, etc.

FranticFrummie

Tue, Jan 27 2015, 4:14 pm

OP, there's so much going on in your post, forgive me if I address things out of order.

Taking care of elderly parents is a very serious concern. I would suggest you stay and work on getting your education while you see how your parents are doing.

Once you finish your studies, you may be more employable in Israel.

Don't worry about your kids. They are more adaptable than you think. The bottom line is, if you are happy in Israel then they will be happy too. If you are miserable, they will be the same.

The importance of your shalom bayis can not be underestimated. You really have to both be committed to this, or you will be getting a lot more trouble when you arrive.

It will be hard to find a Lubavitch community that is not Moshiast. I suggest you find a mixed community that has a good dati/torani school, and a Chabad house nearby that you feel comfortable with.

We're planning on moving to Nahariya with an 11yo girl who has some special learning needs. DH is Lubavitch and I'm Sephardic. I think you'd do very well checking into the Go North programs, as the towns up there seem to be best suited to your needs.

Feel free to PM me with any questions!

Ashrei

Tue, Jan 27 2015, 6:46 pm

Hi OP. I've posted a few times with aliya questions, we do really want to go. We have as many reasons not to as you do. But consider this: Our 3rd child was born with a serious condition, and we need a lot of help in that regard. He has equipment that's expensive and important. We need someone to make him great leg braces. We need to get him other adaptive equipment and amazing physical therapists, and some medical specialists too. Who can afford all that? Where do we start? It's hard enough getting it here in NY where we understand the language! The thought of going there with a child such as this is the single most overwhelming thing.

Please look at our perspective. If I could go back in time, and knew then what I know now about how important it is to make aliya, we would be there already. When we had 1 healthy child, we still had excuses. Another healthy child later, more excuses... And now this insurmountable obstacles means it's unlikely we'll be there unless our children, oldest being 7, get married and live there, please Gd.

It's really important to go. And in the scheme of things, it's really quite doable for you. Wishing you hatzlacha.

Sanguine

Wed, Jan 28 2015, 1:49 am

Ashrei wrote:

Our 3rd child was born with a serious condition, and we need a lot of help in that regard. He has equipment that's expensive and important. We need someone to make him great leg braces. We need to get him other adaptive equipment and amazing physical therapists, and some medical specialists too. Who can afford all that? Where do we start? It's hard enough getting it here in NY where we understand the language! The thought of going there with a child such as this is the single most overwhelming thing.

Ashrei - I can't imagine your difficult life but I wonder if you've ever even investigated getting the same care in Israel. Israel is known for top-notch medical care (all those Jewish Doctors) and necessary items are usually fully covered by Kupat Cholim or Bituach Leumi. Yes, there's a lot of bureaucracy here but there's also a lot of Jewish Neshama. People in a position to help you will go out of their way for your child as they wish you a Refuah Shleima (and some other sphardi brachot that I never catch). If you have real needs, it's like everyone is family.

Quote:

The thought of going there with a child such as this is the single most overwhelming thing.

Yes it is. But it may not be as out of the question as you think. When you're ready, ask around. (Just sayin')

DrMom

Wed, Jan 28 2015, 4:11 am

I think you should (if you decide to move here) look for a mixed community, as opposed to moving to a homogeneous moshav of some sort where you must toe the line and conform to a specific hashkafa/dress code/etc. or feel completely out of place.

I wouldn't be so quick to rule out a place with a sizeable Anglo population. It really helps to have others to whom you can relate, who can help you if you don't understand the language, etc. You don't have to move to an Anglo "bubble" -- just someplace where there is a sizeable enough population that you won't be oddities.

It's nice that you have a "feeling" that you want to live here, but you need to do your hishtaldut to make your aliyah successful. Use resources -- not just imamother, but also NBN, etc. Use them for job networking -- start contacting communities and put out feelers.

shabbatiscoming

Wed, Jan 28 2015, 4:34 am

FranticFrummie wrote:

FF I want to tell you that this is just not always true. not at all. I know of a family where the parents were over the moon and the kids were lets just say much much less so.
its not always if the parents are happy the kids automatically are. or visa versa either.
it is not a sure thing at all.