What is wrong? | Imamother

amother

Amber

Wed, Jul 15 2015, 5:02 pm

ds is 6 going on 7 he wets himself during the day and night of course. I dont wanto discuss that issue as I have already and I have a diff quesiton. he is simply not embarrassed. I have a hard time with washing his stuff everday, so his room smells from urine. its hard to keep under control. I used lysol so it helps somewhat. but I just dont have the energy to wash everyday I live on 2 floors its just too hard for me I have the machine on a diff floor and cant move it at this point. the thing is he has no problem bringing kids to his room when it smells. dh thinks it isnt right to do that. he hardly has kids coming and this would make it even harder. there arent alot of kids his age. and he isnt good with some of them so that narrows to make it harder. I dont know what to do. is it ok to bring kids even if they dont care? I dont know what to do.

mummiedearest

Wed, Jul 15 2015, 5:11 pm

your son is old enough to help with the laundry. and yes, it must be done every day. if you can't schlep for whatever the reason, have your son gather the wet stuff and take it to the washing machine. he can even put it in and turn on the machine. I know it's tough to do laundry daily, but it doesn't have to be folded or ironed, just cleaned.

and no, I don't think it's ok for him to have other kids in a smelly room. I don't think it's ok for him to be in a smelly room. the lack of embarrassment is an issue, but if you decide that it's ok for him to be in a smelly room, it's not helping him realize he should be embarrassed about it.

rosenbal

Wed, Jul 15 2015, 5:24 pm

My DS wet at night (every night) till he was 8 (then I got an alarm which BH cured him in 2-3 weeks.) He wasn't really embarrassed either. Might be a personality. I know if that would have happened to my DD, she would have been really embaressed even at a younger age. He's a very independent thinker to this day.

But I didn't make a big deal out of it with my DS because I knew it was physiological and not at all his fault. Also his room didn't smell and he wore pull ups every night. Does your son wear pull ups? It totally helps with not letting much urine out which makes daily laundry unnessesary. We washed weekly usually.

If it's not his fault (and it's not, is it?) I wouldn't do anything to shame him. Maybe work out a system where he has jobs to help with laundry and you reward/praise him.

MagentaYenta

Wed, Jul 15 2015, 5:34 pm

mummiedearest wrote:

This^ If a smelly room is normative in your home, why would your son be embarrassed? Factually it has to be cleaned so it doesn't smell. It can be you, your son or a cleaning person but the smell indicates it's unsanitary. Does he share a room with a sibling? If so what's the sibs opinion?

amother

Mustard

Wed, Jul 15 2015, 5:49 pm

Here are my suggestions, as the mother of a son who fully toilet trained at six:

1. Seek appropriate medical and behavioral health care, to determine if there is an overarching medical or psychological issue that is delaying your son from toilet training successfully.

2. Wear appropriately sized diapers/pull-ups at night. Double up if necessary. Some insurance companies will reimburse you for diapers/pull-ups, if your child is wearing them due to a diagnosed medical condition. Worth researching if there is an overarching medical issue involved.

3. Line the mattress with plastic, so that it does not absorb urine.

4. Involve your son in the laundry, so that he feels a sense of control over his own body and the situation.

5. Consider why your son is not embarrassed/concerned by his accidents, and the impact that they have on his bedroom. There can be a number of reasons, ranging from older siblings with toileting issues to an overall messy house to an inability to pick up on social cues (I.e., that most of his peers are staying dry at least during the day). Once you have figured out the reasons, you can help him learn and strive towards more socially acceptable toileting.

6. Empower your son to believe that he is capable of staying dry during the day. This would be done in any number of ways, depending on the overarching issue.

amother

Amber

Wed, Jul 15 2015, 6:19 pm

thanks for your answers. we have been to numerous professionals. and he doesnt have something physical as far they are concerned. been to numerous urologists. and xrays. I am doing a different approach in therapy with him. hope it will help. I just wanted your opinions on the smelly room thing. okay he has a special pad that absorbs urine so his mattress is fine. I will make him take off his linen everday and pjs to get rid of smell. I have been trying so many types of things with him but the alarm. ds will be skeptical about it. but hey I can try and see what happens. thanks for your input and comments.

amother

Amber

Wed, Jul 15 2015, 6:23 pm

well he just isnt embarrassed. I just think its his personality. you know how some people are embarrassed from people and some arent. thats him. cant change him. love him the way he is. I just dont understand how there is a connection with social issues and being wet. please explain and dont make fun I am trying to learn.

amother

Amber

Wed, Jul 15 2015, 6:30 pm

he has no prob asking another neighbor to give him ices when hes hot if hes by their house. he isnt socially appropriate or shall I say embarrassed enough not to ask. I cringe when he does that. its a kind of thing I never knew my son would do. he surprized me.

Miri7

Wed, Jul 15 2015, 6:47 pm

To make laundry easier, I would layer sheets and waterproof pads so each morning you can strip off a layer and put it in the laundry room. Have several so you don't have to wash every day. But get the stinky stuff out of his room , put a fan in an open window to get fresh air.

My concern would be that his friends would begin to ridicule him for having a urine smelly room and wetting the bed.