Chipping in for joint family gifts

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Forum -> Relationships -> Giving Gifts

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gin10

Mon, Feb 29 2016, 9:21 pm

I'm wondering if there's anyone whose family has joint gift giving down to a great science. Seems to me that most families do not, but is there anyone who does? Where everyone is happy with the system you have?

Chayalle

Mon, Feb 29 2016, 9:51 pm

I think in my family there aren't many complaints about the joint gift giving, because we purposely don't do it on a huge scale, so that it isn't too burdensome, and at the same time there are 12 of us B"AH so you can get something nice without it being hard on everyone.

For example, every graduate (elementary and high school) gets a gift from the aunts, and we each chip in $5 apiece. It's not alot, but they get their gift.

rgr

Mon, Feb 29 2016, 10:08 pm

If you are worried abt collecting the money/getting paid back etc, have one person set up an account at the gift store, and have the rest of the relatives call in with their credit card and charge the amount they would like toward the gift. Many Jewish gift stores can set this up, IME .

pause

Mon, Feb 29 2016, 10:12 pm

The fewer systems in place, the better IME. We have this thing where a different sibling takes care of something each time, going in birth order downwards. Inevitably, someone "forgets" when it's their turn and it only causes ill will on all sides.

Either let everyone do their own thing or pair up on their own with some other ones. Or make calls each time separately.

amother

Peach

Tue, Mar 01 2016, 5:17 am

Its easier to arrange now we all have whatsapp. In my family we only really get together for our parents birthday gifts, and once we all got together to buy a special gift for a special needs child of one of my siblings. Other gifts - weddding, bar mitzva, etc we are on our own basically.

But in general there is no pressure. Once my siblings wanted to get a particular gift for a certain sibling. No other sibling had ever gotten this gift - in fact I had desperately needed such a gift several times and no one had thought to buy it for me. It was a lot of money being asked and I simply said I couldn't participate, or gave very little. Nobody minded.

I think the no pressure things is key.

Chayalle

Tue, Mar 01 2016, 9:09 am

We have a thing where one person lays out the $$$ and another person does the collecting.

sweet

Tue, Mar 01 2016, 9:14 pm

We opened up a bank account and each of us put $ there in the beg. Of the year and one sil takes out money as needed for presents and sheva brachos.
And another sil keeps tracks with excel how much is left from each of us.
Bh, this works well for us,

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