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Forum
-> Parenting our children
-> School age children
amother
Violet
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Tue, Jul 05 2016, 9:41 pm
I've recently caught my almost 9 year old daughter touching self. I tried to talk to her , but she quickly got embarrassed, angry and shut down. truth is, I thought I had plenty of time before I needed to have "the talk" with her. So I'm coming here for advice, what should I tell her? is "the wonder of being you too mature for her? is it too much information?
my daughter is brilliant and mature for her age.
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amother
Silver
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Tue, Jul 05 2016, 10:16 pm
amother wrote: | I've recently caught my almost 9 year old daughter touching self. I tried to talk to her , but she quickly got embarrassed, angry and shut down. truth is, I thought I had plenty of time before I needed to have "the talk" with her. So I'm coming here for advice, what should I tell her? is "the wonder of being you too mature for her? is it too much information?
my daughter is brilliant and mature for her age. |
The wonder of you does not address this, so it would not be helpful.
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amother
Ecru
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Tue, Jul 05 2016, 10:34 pm
When our daughter discovered herself, at first my husband came down on her hard with, "it's not allowed". I got LIVID and forced him to go ask a big Rav whether it's allowed for GIRLS. He said yes. I am not paskening for you, of course. I also called my womderful Kallah teacher who said "great, she found it. Just make sure she understands not to do it when there is company around." (At 9, I am sure your daughter is old enough to understand that.)
I got her both the "wonder of becoming you" and "what's happening to my body, book for girls" (read through both myself first). She has been rereading both for YEARS! (Oh, I did make sure that the books were kept private, where her younger brothers and/or her friends would not see it. I also told her she cannot show the books to any friends visiting, because they have to ask their mothers whether they let or not.)
Your daughter reached a major, wonderful milestone, and you were caught unprepared: please try to orient yourself and get guidance (ideally, both Halakhic and from experienced parents) on how to react in the best possible way. Hatzlacha!
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amother
Firebrick
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Tue, Jul 05 2016, 10:35 pm
Even very young children will touch themselves. It is a normal part of child development and self-discovery, and has nothing to do with "the talk"! If she is doing it in public, tell her that is a private behaviour. If she was doing it in private, MYOB. Of course she was embarrassed!
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amother
Purple
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Wed, Jul 06 2016, 7:45 am
Is this book 'whsts happening to my body, book for girls' a jewish one? Who writes it?
Which book did you like better? This one of the wonder of becoming you
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mommy3b2c
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Wed, Jul 06 2016, 8:04 am
Mind your own business. As long as she is doing it in private, let ner do what she wants. The "problems" people have never cease to amaze me.
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