PSA: havdala on tisha b'av

sky

Mon, Aug 08 2016, 10:11 am

More people will probably be breaking their fast on tisha b'av this year because it is a nidcha.
Don't forget because it is after shabbos you have to make havdala before eating (can't use wine or grape juice).

Just putting it out there because I totally didn't think about it until my rav mentioned it when we spoke about it.

ETA: Please don't rely on me. Ask LOR, what, when, who, were, if, etc.

Last edited by sky on Mon, Aug 08 2016, 10:34 am; edited 1 time in total

amother

Sapphire

Mon, Aug 08 2016, 10:15 am

Same here. I actually posted a comment on another thread about havdallah.

My rav said to make havdallah on a carbonated drink and not oj, or milk..

Chayalle

Mon, Aug 08 2016, 10:16 am

Ask your LOR. I remember that 18 years ago Tisha B'av was a nidcheh and I was in my last trimester of pg. My Rav told me to fast till Chatzos, and then make Havdalah, and I'm pretty sure he did tell me to use grape juice.

amother

Sienna

Mon, Aug 08 2016, 10:24 am

sky wrote:

Ask your Rov, not sure a woman or kids need to hear havdala first. I remember in the past breaking fast without havdala. Ask your Rov as everyone holds different. Imamothers have no semicha!!

LiLIsraeli

Mon, Aug 08 2016, 10:31 am

Chayalle wrote:

Similar situation here, when I was pregnant with my first in Israel during a heat wave, and tisha b'av was a nidcheh, the Rav advised my husband to make havdalah for me first thing in the morning and I would drink the grape juice.

Marion

Mon, Aug 08 2016, 12:57 pm

I don't remember my rav stipulating what I could (or couldn't) use for havdalah when DS#4 was 30 days old and he told me not to fast. (Also nidche, and nursing.)

EmpireState

Mon, Aug 08 2016, 1:40 pm

sky wrote:

Can you please explain what you mean? "Nidcha" means that it's a delayed day since 9 AV is on Shabbat, correct? Are you saying that your Rav said that people don't have to fast? I am not asking for halachic advice, just trying to clarify what you mean. Thanks.

Optione

Mon, Aug 08 2016, 1:47 pm

EmpireState wrote:

Since no one's fasting in the 9th of Av, but rather on the 10th, there's a little bit more leniency for people who have a significant reason to skip the fast to do so; whereas on the 9th they might have pushed themselves a bit more. (Illness, pregnancy, etc)

m in Israel

Mon, Aug 08 2016, 2:05 pm

amother wrote:

Ask your Rov, not sure a woman or kids need to hear havdala first. I remember in the past breaking fast without havdala. Ask your Rov as everyone holds different. Imamothers have no semicha!!

It's only applicable on years like this when it is Sunday -- the havdalah is for the end of Shabbos. On a regular year there is no havdalah on Tisha B'Av, so maybe that is what you are remembering. (Of course there is nothing wrong with people asking thier own shailos).

sky

Mon, Aug 08 2016, 2:06 pm

EmpireState wrote:

I'm exclusively nursing a young baby. Typically my rav wouldn't give me a heter to break my fast on tisha b'av for nursing. But because it is a nidcha, hot summer, I have other young children at home, and am exclusively nursing a baby who refuses all bottles, he said if I don't feel well I can break my fast after shkia.
Obviously this is something each person must ask.

Because it is nidcha more people will be given a heter to break if pregnant and nursing than typical on tisha b'av.

I was also told my children (between specific ages) should make themselves havdalah before eating Sunday morning

EmpireState

Mon, Aug 08 2016, 2:15 pm

Optione wrote:

Got it. Thanks!

amother

Sienna

Mon, Aug 08 2016, 2:58 pm

m in Israel wrote:

Yes!!! I was referring to a year like this year when we fast Motzei Shabbos and Sunday.
Our Rov said it's not necessary to make havdala first, as long as I'll hear from dh later on. But every Rov holds different.

m in Israel

Mon, Aug 08 2016, 4:04 pm

amother wrote:

So interesting. Does he hold that way on a regular motzai Shabbos (I.e. that you can eat before hearing havdalah as long as your husband will be saying it later) or is this unique to Tisha B'Av?

amother

Green

Mon, Aug 08 2016, 4:23 pm

m in Israel wrote:

So interesting. Does he hold that way on a regular motzai Shabbos (I.e. that you can eat before hearing havdalah as long as your husband will be saying it later) or is this unique to Tisha B'Av?

DH says the gemara and rishonim state very clearly that one may never eat or drink anything besides water before havdallah.

tichellady

Mon, Aug 08 2016, 5:09 pm

amother wrote:

I have never heard this before. I wonder why he poskened that way.

m in Israel

Mon, Aug 08 2016, 5:19 pm

amother wrote:

DH says the gemara and rishonim state very clearly that one may never eat or drink anything besides water before havdallah.

I'm assuming it's connected to the question about whether women are mechuyav in havdalah altogether -- there are opinions that say not (although I think they are definitely not widely accepted halacaha l'masah). So I'm guessing her psak is somehow connected to that.

amother

Jetblack

Mon, Aug 08 2016, 5:24 pm

I was recently told my by rabbi that all the years I was single and living alone and saying Havdalah for myself, I shouldn't have been. He said I should have just said Ata Chonantanu in Maariv or Baruch Hamavdil.

Health is a Virture

Tue, Aug 09 2016, 4:02 am

yeah I remember making havdalah accrdng to my rav's p'sak on grape juice when preg on a nidchah. He also told me to not to eat phleishigs but oops I did that

miami85

Tue, Aug 09 2016, 9:39 am

sky wrote:

My husband used to look this up every year, He said that according to the mishna brurah grape juice is preferable to beer. So check with your rabbinic authority before using something else.

Also, if you are making havdala motsai shabbos for any reason, the havdala is DIFFERENT. I don't recall exactly what it is, but I know that when I was a yoledes and broke my fast on tisha b'av, it was an issue (so I waited until morning when it was "regular" without besamim)