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-> Parenting our children
-> Our Challenging Children (gifted, ADHD, sensitive, defiant)
mha3484
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 Fri, Sep 30 2016, 9:38 am
My son is 5 1/2 (closer to six). He is very impulsive and has poor social skills. He wants me to make a play date with a child in his class. His morah thinks they would play nicely together but we have some concerns.
Hers: that they boys are twins and he wont get the social cues if they dont include him.
Mine that the mother does not speak much English and I am not sure where the kids are holding either. I am iffy on the Morah's assesment. I can see where she is coming from just not sure if that is whats holding me back.
I wanted to invite them to come to the park with us but DS insists that they invited him to come to their house and hes being stubborn about it.
What would you do?
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MiracleMama
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Fri, Sep 30 2016, 12:04 pm
So, I can't speak to the specifics but will recommend that you go ahead and schedule a playdate one way or another - her house, your house, park.... whatever.
I sometimes get very lazy about scheduling playdates for my son because it's work for me. It's not like when my other kids have playdates and they disappear and play beautifully for hours and I can just do whatever I need to. With DS it's constant requests and needing assistance and "we're bored" and "what can we do now?" and sometimes nervous parents hanging around that I have nothing in common with and nothing to talk about.... but it's just totally worth all the hassle because DS really benefits from these social interactions.
So again, I recommend that you just find a way to make it happen. Even if it's awkward.
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imasinger
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Fri, Sep 30 2016, 1:07 pm
Simple. Start at your house, go to the park together, end up at your house for a snack.
You control the situation inside, and everyone wins.
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mha3484
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Fri, Sep 30 2016, 1:14 pm
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Okay now to get DS out of this idea that he was invited to their house and he wants to go there.
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seeker
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Fri, Sep 30 2016, 2:28 pm
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It's one of those things that I usually just keep my firm broken record on and they get over it.
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vicki
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Sat, Oct 01 2016, 12:02 pm
Accept but tell the Mom that your son is still new to playdates and a bit rough around the edges. Tell her to call you when they've had enough.
A difficult playdate is not the end of the world. But a child needs practice to get better.
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amother
Wheat
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Sun, Oct 02 2016, 2:12 am
I recommend you bring your son to the play date at their house and you stay there at their house. Don't hover over them, but be available in case whatever you are worried about comes to fruition.
Tell the mother that your son is new to play dates, like someone else suggested, and ask if you can to stick around and you brought a book if needed so you don't have to bother her.
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