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Forum
-> Parenting our children
-> Infants
amother
Vermilion
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Tue, Nov 01 2016, 4:27 am
My grandparents are coming to visit. They are staying near us for a week but then going to a different city for the second half of their trip. They want us to visit one day when they are in the other city - it's about 2 hours by bus each way.
I really don't feel up to it. I'm tired, baby is five weeks old and still nurses all day and night. My other child has school. My husband will need to take time off work. Even I'm meant to be working from home! Is it wrong to say no? Can I still use the excuse that baby is too small to travel?
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water_bear88
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Tue, Nov 01 2016, 4:42 am
I wouldn't go. This isn't as if they're too elderly and infirm to travel, and I assume you'll be seeing them during the week they're nearby?
Flu season, two hours on public transit, and a newborn are not a good combo in my opinion.
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grace413
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Tue, Nov 01 2016, 5:26 am
Assuming they will see you when they are nearby you do not have to make the trip.
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imasinger
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Tue, Nov 01 2016, 6:14 am
Just say no. It's best to be vague, "it's just not possible for us, so sorry."
But if you must give a reason, I think the more reasonable excuse is that everyone has prior commitments.
Usually, senior generations understand and appreciate responsibility.
But there are differing opinions about what one can and can't do with a five week old. I don't think you want to go there.
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miami85
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Tue, Nov 01 2016, 9:40 am
Its a very personal decision, if it were me, I'd do it. I took my 1 month old to an out of town bar mitzvah by plane and she did great! It's the best time to travel! I love to be with family and I don't give up too easily. You never know the bus ride may be relaxing and lull your baby to sleep and you can get a 2 hour nap!
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happyone
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Tue, Nov 01 2016, 9:57 am
I'd never give up the opportunity to spend time with grandparents. Life is short. .. unless you're not physically up to it.
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amother
Jade
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Tue, Nov 01 2016, 11:37 am
Decide the day before. You can't know now how you will be feeling then.
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gp2.0
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Tue, Nov 01 2016, 12:02 pm
grace413 wrote: | Assuming they will see you when they are nearby you do not have to make the trip. |
Yeah I don't get it. Won't they be seeing you while they're nearby?
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amother
Vermilion
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Tue, Nov 01 2016, 1:25 pm
gp2.0 wrote: | Yeah I don't get it. Won't they be seeing you while they're nearby? |
Yes they are staying near us to spend time with us, but they want us to come and see them the next week too...
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gp2.0
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Tue, Nov 01 2016, 1:42 pm
amother wrote: | Yes they are staying near us to spend time with us, but they want us to come and see them the next week too... |
Then you spend as much time with them as possible while they're nearby, and a sweet but firm no to traveling 4 hours round trip with a newborn the following week.
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Miri7
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Tue, Nov 01 2016, 2:44 pm
I wouldn't take a 5 week old baby on a long trip in enclosed public transport. Germs. Cold. Flu. Yuck.
See if a relative will drive them to you one day for a second visit.
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yenta2
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Tue, Nov 01 2016, 3:11 pm
Go with your gut feeling, personally I would probably not make the trip .
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sky
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Tue, Nov 01 2016, 3:33 pm
I would also think it depends on how often you see them. If they are traveling 1/2 way around the world and you see them once a year or less, then I would probably make the effort. Life is too short and I'm guessing the grandparents are not too young.
However if you will see them in another 3 - 6 months I would probably skip it.
If you don't plan on going I wouldn't give any reason, because as some have said, some babies that young travel nicely. But I do think 2 hours on a bus straight is a long time with a baby and another young child.
(We traveled about 9 hours to see our grandparent's\great-grandparents. It was 2 separate trips a year because they lived in different areas. Now that one trip is no longer applicable I have no regrets over the hours we spent in the car sometimes with newborns or a few toddlers - even though some years I dreaded the thought of it - not to give you guilt - just to put it in perspective).
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lovingmother
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Tue, Nov 01 2016, 8:24 pm
I also traveled with a one month old by plane, it is a whole different story than a bus. I personally would not do it. Especially bec. you'll be seeing them anyway. When I'm five weeks postpartum I'm still recovering! I would never be able to handle a long bus ride!!
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