Moving beds | Imamother

Seraph

Tue, Jul 17 2007, 3:40 am

amother wrote:

Quote:

(to the point that its hard for you to sleep when he's not near you),

So during niddah you dont sleep?? Confused

During nidda I have a hard time falling asleep. And go to sleep all sad.
It actually was hardest when after 3 mos of no nidda (pregnancy) I was in nidda and had to sleep far away from my husband. I was sooo depressed that first night.

purplegirl

Tue, Jul 17 2007, 6:44 am

To all of those who said they do not rearrange their host's furniture:

Would you feel more comfortable moving the beds if the host specifically said you can?
(I never did because I thought it was obvious and not tznius to point it out.)

miriamnechama

Tue, Jul 17 2007, 8:31 am

1 we sleepin israeli sized beds together when no nida and don't find in not confy. I think it's 70 or 80 that's what we bought that's what we use till we have money to buy a normal set.

other wise I don't move furniture wherever I am, I don't need people to know my matzev be it in israel or london.

when I was just in london we slept in the same bed and dad asked at the end where did we sleep , dh said one in the bed one in the mattress on the floor.

by my inlaws at one point when they only had 2 bedrooms, the girls took one room and dh and the boys in the salon, also now if it gets too crowded we don't take up a whole room but "split" up he with the boys, me with the girls. we don't care really depends how many couples come tha tparticular week.

I found it more of a problem if your are a nidda and you stay by someplace that the beds are together, that is more complecated. I'll never forget one hotel night a few years ago, I got my period that night... how depressing in a hotel!!

Seraph

Tue, Jul 17 2007, 8:40 am

Once when I was in nidda I was staying at someones house who had the beds together with one big blanket over it... So we couldn't just move the beds and use differnet blankets- one of us had to make do without...
Very uncomfortable.

greentiger

Tue, Jul 17 2007, 8:48 am

That sounds pretty inconsiderate.
I remeber before I was married whenever we had a couple over, I would set up the beds a few inches apart, that way they had the option to move closer or further depending on their preference.
So far I was never in a crazy situation though, excpet once when we got invited to a family member, knowing in advance that they only had one big bed, which turned out to be two mattreses on one frame, so basicly we knew to warn them that we will be rearranging things abit.

greenfire

Tue, Jul 17 2007, 8:53 am

greentiger wrote:

I would set up the beds a few inches apart, that way they had the option to move closer or further depending on their preference.

a few inches apart is insufficient ... fyi

amother

Tue, Jul 17 2007, 10:28 am

, Do anyone know the minimun space required for the beds to be separate? A guest of mine turned off my invitation after being told that the beds are pretty close together. Is this halacha or chumra? As far as I know, the beds should not be touching each other, I figure about 12 " is enough. Did anyone learn differently?

miriamnechama

Tue, Jul 17 2007, 11:26 am

60 cm apart, ie far enough that the bkankets can't touch each outher.

I think that with this man it was a chumra. look it learning balanit now (Mik attendant) and we have a great rebetzen. she goes by rav moshe halberstam z"tl and she told us that for eg ina small yerushalayim apartment where if the bedrom is tiny and there is less than 60 cm space then a small night table is sufficient.

I certainly wouldn't turn down a host, I'd manage, max I bring an easy blanket with me.

also about the bead with 2 mattresses and one frame, according to halacha that kind of bed, bunkbeds, and a 2 beds connected by one large frame even when separated are a problem during nidda. I think it's cause when you move onbe the other moves with. something like that. I learnt all this in my course. wanna know more, pm me. (the course is facinationg. we're also going to be doing the halochos of the mikvas ie howit's built how the water is filled etc.)

greentiger

Tue, Jul 17 2007, 12:41 pm

greenfire wrote:

greentiger wrote:

I would set up the beds a few inches apart, that way they had the option to move closer or further depending on their preference.

a few inches apart is insufficient ... fyi

First of all at the time I didn't know the halacha. Secondly, I'm talking about a light colapsable bed that can easily be moved left or right.

greentiger

Tue, Jul 17 2007, 12:43 pm

miriamnechama wrote:

also about the bead with 2 mattresses and one frame, according to halacha that kind of bed, bunkbeds, and a 2 beds connected by one large frame even when separated are a problem during nidda.

We moved the mattress onto the floor, even though we asked a very reliable rav and were told that even though it's not ideal, since it's someone elses house and we didn't really have a diff option, we could place a board between the two mattreses.

Mommastuff

Thu, Jul 26 2007, 2:00 pm

to all those who said that its weird to move furniture as a guest:

what would you do then if you were given a room with the beds together and you were in needa times? You'd have to move the beds!
Smile

or sleep on the floor Wink

GAMZu

Thu, Jul 26 2007, 6:05 pm

No one I know would put beds close together.

Once after giving birth we stayed at a family who set up a roll-out bed, (hi-riser?) so DH was right net to me on the floor. I couldn't even get out of bed without stepping on him Tongue Out

.
But it was erev Pesach, so they didn't even set up the room normally. Just left us to our own devices.
We put the kids between us.