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Forum
-> Parenting our children
-> Preschoolers
amother
Cyan
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Tue, Jul 11 2017, 9:59 am
This is the way my (bli again Hara) pretty preschool daughter is often greeted by people.
She is k"h beautiful, but I feel like it's so vain to focus on that.
What are your thoughts?
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groovy1224
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Tue, Jul 11 2017, 10:03 am
Oh gosh, it's just a term of endearment. Let her enjoy it.
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heidi
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Tue, Jul 11 2017, 10:33 am
I call my kid cookie. I hope he doesn't think he really is one.
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simba
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Tue, Jul 11 2017, 10:43 am
Tell her every so often that being beautiful is a gift from HaShem.
Don't worry about it unless she becomes obsessed with it.
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amother
Tangerine
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Tue, Jul 11 2017, 10:45 am
I work with kids and I call them darling. Its a term of endearment as opposed to how pretty or gorgeous they are. I find that as a teacher we often have to tell children off so to soften the tone we use endearing adjectives...
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amother
Copper
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Tue, Jul 11 2017, 11:01 am
amother wrote: | I work with kids and I call them darling. Its a term of endearment as opposed to how pretty or gorgeous they are. I find that as a teacher we often have to tell children off so to soften the tone we use endearing adjectives... |
I cringed when I read this. It's so confusing to hear an endearment while being told off. Better keep the endearments for when you feel endearing, this way I can trust that what comes out of your mouth is aligned with the energy I feel coming from your being. Please don't confuse these vulnerable children. It's so important for kids to have trusting relationships, so then can then be able to trust themselves.
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amother
Tangerine
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Tue, Jul 11 2017, 3:09 pm
amother wrote: | I cringed when I read this. It's so confusing to hear an endearment while being told off. Better keep the endearments for when you feel endearing, this way I can trust that what comes out of your mouth is aligned with the energy I feel coming from your being. Please don't confuse these vulnerable children. It's so important for kids to have trusting relationships, so then can then be able to trust themselves. |
Omygosh I wrote that soooo wrong. What I meant to write was that so often we tell children off so its important to show them that when we aren't telling them off we are showing them that we care with endearing adjectives. Apologies. I wrote too fast
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amother
Vermilion
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Tue, Jul 11 2017, 5:28 pm
U can constantly tell her how gorgeous she is on the inside too. What a beautiful neshama she has as well. Every time she does a mitzvah. It makes her glow. Etc..
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amother
Mauve
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Wed, Jul 12 2017, 9:35 am
My daughter was often greeted the same way. When ppl would say "What a beautiful child you have!!" in front of her, I would often smile and say "Yes, she really is! She has such beautiful middos and is such a yummy girl!" and give a her a huge hug. I never said anything about it to dd - only to family members who did it excessively and I asked them not to as she got older.
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amother
Bronze
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Wed, Jul 12 2017, 9:42 am
If its a male bus driver then I would be worried or at least it would make me nervous but other than that who cares?
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amother
Cyan
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Wed, Jul 12 2017, 10:23 am
Op here. Thanks everyone for your posts. I think what bothers me is when it happens when she's with her other siblings who are adorable, but not as "beautiful" ( even though I think they are!), And they get a plain "hi" or "hi cutie" and she gets a "hi georgous" or "hi beautiful girl"...
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lucky14
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Wed, Jul 12 2017, 2:54 pm
amother wrote: | Op here. Thanks everyone for your posts. I think what bothers me is when it happens when she's with her other siblings who are adorable, but not as "beautiful" ( even though I think they are!), And they get a plain "hi" or "hi cutie" and she gets a "hi georgous" or "hi beautiful girl"... |
Yeah that is sad.
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MrsDash
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Wed, Jul 12 2017, 3:14 pm
Am I the only one who thought the title of this thread was a play on words for the name of a clothing store? Come to think of it, If your name is George or Georgette, I think it's a super creative idea! Just putting that out there.
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amother
Saddlebrown
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Thu, Jul 13 2017, 6:31 pm
I know a family who has a beatiful daughter, and when people do this, they say "and now tell her something else good about her middos/actions/behavior/positive traits/etc. And if the person can't, then the parents compliment her for somethign that is under her control (middos etc). The daughter is older now and has such nice middos these days!
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amother
Aqua
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Thu, Jul 13 2017, 6:54 pm
[quote="amother"]U can constantly tell her how gorgeous she is on the inside too. What a beautiful neshama she has as well
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