I need get used to put things where truly belong - & kids

amother

Ginger

Sat, Jul 15 2017, 10:00 pm

amother wrote:

Hi op. I got a bit scared of this thread because hey, people are often misunderstood on here. I do get exactly what you are saying about being distracted, but I consider this one of my positive qualities if used the right way. I can connect very different things and come up with something new. What about you? I don't feel happy when my mind is cluttered with household tasks. However it is true that where there is a lot of order in the house I can do things more on automatic pilot, which makes me much happier. Are there some parts of your house keeping that are more organized?

From your last post, I bet someone will jump on and suggest we get assessed for ADHD. Maybe a couple of sessions with a home organizer would be better for both of us.

I wash laundry well. Not inspired with folding and putting away. I don't think anything else is something I do well. Crying

sneakermom

Sun, Jul 16 2017, 9:27 am

Oy.

The op never said, "I can't, I won't clean."

She asked for help. She has a disorganized, distracted brain that is drawn to complicated thought, instead of organizational, practical action.

Zaq, it is clear that you have no experience with this. You can't even begin to imagine what it feels like. You are offering judgement from within your very organized and smooth running brain. Not putting yourself in someone else's shoes at all.

But you are right. "Just do it" does help to some degree. And that's what a lot of fly ladies tips focuses on.

A few of my own tricks I do:
1. Get rid of all junk. Clear the place.
2. Every little bit counts. It's not all or nothing.
3. Use Shabbos as a guide. Wednesday, Thursday clean for shabbos. Sunday, Monday clean from shabbos.
4. Do a load of laundry daily.
5. Do a half hour a day of running around the house, putting things in place. Kids can do this with you:)
6. A stopwatch. Race against the clock. It increases focus and gets the job done.
7. Schedule it into your day. First clean up from supper. Then bedtime.

And make your own tricks. They really help get the job done. Despite a messy, sometimes sluggish brain.

amother

Orchid

Sun, Jul 16 2017, 9:44 am

OP I totally get you I am the same way I find that I do get distracted from thoughts. but my main problem is going one step more than I have to put things away in the place or maybe because I really want to finish fast what im cleaning that I do not want to go that extra step to put it in the right place. I know it's wrong way of thinking but somehow I keep on doing it and my DH really gets nervous from it and it's so hard to stop it. Every single time I say now I will put it back in the right place I don't know why I'm just so lazy to go that extra step and it kills me Surprised

amother

Burgundy

Sun, Jul 16 2017, 9:58 am

The only way an un organized person can be organized is to over compensate.
Meaning become extreme.
It's only seems extreme in ones own mind because we are not organized people.
After a very short time it starts becoming second nature.
Now when I lose something, I have to think where is its home.
9.9 out of 10 times its back in its home.
I don't remember putting it back in its place, but there it is.
It just becomes second nature to put it back, while its still in your hand.
Say out loud where things belong, "the scissors goes in the caddy in the cabinet.", then put it there.
Make it into a game for yourself.
Write lists if you have to.

Also, ask Hashem to help you be more organized.

zaq

Sun, Jul 16 2017, 9:19 pm

sneakermom wrote:

I was responding to forest green who seemed to cherish the freedom to let her mind wander and resented or at least resisted the idea of mental self-discipline.

FTR I was not born neat. I had the usual childhood clashes with my folks, who were quasi-minimalists with very high standards of housekeeping. I'm a total slob in comparison. Like most people, I had to learn to put things away where they belong and not leave them on the nearest convenient surface. I have soliloquies going in inside my head,too. I walk into a room, wonder why I'm there and have to go back where I came from to recall what I intended to do. So? So I go back. I put down a shmatta or my keys and forget where I put it because I was thinking about something else. But the point is that when I next see the shmatta on the couch or the sweater on the kitchen table , I don't leave it there. I put it away where it belongs.

amother

Forestgreen

Sun, Jul 16 2017, 9:35 pm

Sneakermon thank you for what you wrote. You were validating and therefore inspired me.

Zaq you reminded me of ...... people in the past who have criticized me for having my head in the clouds. Made me feel bad & sad, worthless and useless. Not an "adult". Not inspired to do anything except crawl into bed and eat chocolate.

Sneakermom thank you thank you thank you!