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How to tell boss found a better job with pay and hours
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amother




Blue


Post  Wed, Sep 06 2017, 6:07 pm
posting as a boss here -
if you really did appreciate the job, and need to move on in life, the kindest thing you can do for your boss is to let him know as early as possible.
It is hard to find a good replacement in any business, and letting him know sooner than later (with yom tov in the middle) is the responsible thing to do.
Bad mood or not, you need to approach him, or send him an email that you need to discuss something privately with him - when would be a good time to do so?
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tichellady









  


Post  Wed, Sep 06 2017, 6:11 pm
amother wrote:
posting as a boss here -
if you really did appreciate the job, and need to move on in life, the kindest thing you can do for your boss is to let him know as early as possible.
It is hard to find a good replacement in any business, and letting him know sooner than later (with yom tov in the middle) is the responsible thing to do.
Bad mood or not, you need to approach him, or send him an email that you need to discuss something privately with him - when would be a good time to do so?


Yes but by giving early notice be aware that he may fire you before you would like. This has happened to some of my friends who thought they were being nice by giving extra notice and were told to leave ASAP without pay.
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amother




Smokey


Post  Wed, Sep 06 2017, 6:31 pm
tichellady wrote:
Yes but by giving early notice be aware that he may fire you before you would like. This has happened to some of my friends who thought they were being nice by giving extra notice and were told to leave ASAP without pay.

This. And I say this having been on both sides, now as manager. Give standard 2 weeks notice prior to sukkos.
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summer0808









  


Post  Wed, Sep 06 2017, 9:51 pm
my advice (FWIW) is to just give notice 2 weeks before you want to leave. and if you're only starting to work the new job after succos work the yomim tovim as vacation time. dont work for your old boss on all these erev yomtovs!
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amother




Blue


Post  Wed, Sep 06 2017, 10:45 pm
summer0808 wrote:
my advice (FWIW) is to just give notice 2 weeks before you want to leave. and if you're only starting to work the new job after succos work the yomim tovim as vacation time. dont work for your old boss on all these erev yomtovs!


That is so not nice!
He gave her a raise, he bought her a doona. Yes, something may be going on now that he is uptight about, who knows, maybe its been a bad year financially, but to give notice Rosh Hashana when she cannot even train someone in is simply not menchlicht.

If you are in a critical work position where you will need to train in the next person, then he simply wont be able to fire you on the spot. If not, then maybe you can wait it out and let him know 2 wks before.

Also wondering for those of you who's friends got fired when they gave early notice -- were they able to collect unemployment?
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cm









  


Post  Wed, Sep 06 2017, 11:04 pm
How much notice to give? As much as possible. Leaving on good terms can translate into good references or other types of career benefits in the future.

In my industry, hourly workers are expected to give at least two weeks' notice; more is appreciated. We really can't replace them in only two weeks. Salaried professionals are expected to give four weeks. That is also rarely enough time.

It is possible but not likely that a replacement will be found and ready to work so quickly that giving four weeks notice is risking unemployment. I might worry about giving three months notice.
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oliveoil









  


Post  Wed, Sep 06 2017, 11:08 pm
btw, you can't just adjust your hours because you can't or don't want to arrange care.

Of course your boss told you you have to figure it out when you just upped and left at 4 as if these are your new hours.

in terms of leaving, be professional, be courteous. Let him know now which is 4 weeks notice, because there are so many unworkable (and days you wont' be able to train your replacement) over the two weeks prior to your leave date.
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summer0808









  


Post  Wed, Sep 06 2017, 11:13 pm
I meant to give enough notice so that you dont have to work through yom tov.
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amother




Seagreen


Post  Thu, Sep 07 2017, 2:20 am
Op, can I ask what type of office work you do?
Also, I would give 2 weeks notice. There's no reason to risk getting fired by telling him so far in advance.
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amother




Royalblue


Post  Thu, Sep 07 2017, 2:04 pm
ok, I'm going to say something that will annoy a lot of people (so I'll be anonymous) but I really want to know the thought process and how it has become the norm for a baby to be in daycare UNTIL 5PM??? I'm on a mommy Facebook group and there are moms posting "need advice, my two year old is cranky in the evenings. My husband picks him up from daycare at 5pm and bedtime is 7pm but he has a tantrum at dinner". These kind of posts make me want to scream WHAT ELSE WOULD YOU EXPECT??? It's hard for a full-grown adult to be out of the house from 9-5pm but a TODDLER? a baby??? So they're home for 2 hours a day? And those 2 hours are dinner, bath time and bedtime?

Honestly op, I'm like you in the way that I need to work for my sanity....I get you. Your dh is happy to be the sole provider, you mentioned you don't need the money. Why can't you put your child in a daycare for a few hours a day so that he gets to socialize with other kids and you get a break? As opposed to having him practically living there?
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Ruchel









  


Post  Thu, Sep 07 2017, 2:15 pm
dancingqueen wrote:
I can see that frum offices seem to have a different culture, but is that expected, that a boss will purchase a doona stroller for an employee who gives birth? That is not the norm in most workplaces I know.


Frum or not this is insane
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amother




Olive


Post  Thu, Sep 07 2017, 5:31 pm
Thank you amother royal blue, for plunging your knife and twisting it into the hearts of all working moms who have to work full time and dont get to choose convenient short hours or have onsite day care that they can pop into a few times a day. As if they didn't already feel bad enough that they have to be away from their babies all day, you just made them feel that teeny bit worse. Onaas devarim much? Thank you very much indeed.
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causemommysaid









  


Post  Thu, Sep 07 2017, 5:50 pm
amother wrote:
ok, I'm going to say something that will annoy a lot of people (so I'll be anonymous) but I really want to know the thought process and how it has become the norm for a baby to be in daycare UNTIL 5PM??? I'm on a mommy Facebook group and there are moms posting "need advice, my two year old is cranky in the evenings. My husband picks him up from daycare at 5pm and bedtime is 7pm but he has a tantrum at dinner". These kind of posts make me want to scream WHAT ELSE WOULD YOU EXPECT??? It's hard for a full-grown adult to be out of the house from 9-5pm but a TODDLER? a baby??? So they're home for 2 hours a day? And those 2 hours are dinner, bath time and bedtime?

Honestly op, I'm like you in the way that I need to work for my sanity....I get you. Your dh is happy to be the sole provider, you mentioned you don't need the money. Why can't you put your child in a daycare for a few hours a day so that he gets to socialize with other kids and you get a break? As opposed to having him practically living there?


My thought process is that if I didn't work full time my toddler wouldn't have a home to spend 2 hours in or have anything to eat for dinner.
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amother




Royalblue


Post  Thu, Sep 07 2017, 7:40 pm
Quote:
Thank you amother royal blue, for plunging your knife and twisting it into the hearts of all working moms who have to work full time and dont get to choose convenient short hours or have onsite day care that they can pop into a few times a day. As if they didn't already feel bad enough that they have to be away from their babies all day, you just made them feel that teeny bit worse. Onaas devarim much? Thank you very much indeed.


Sorry for causing you pain. I honestly was not talking to all the mothers who have no choice but to work in order to provide for their families. Op mentioned that her reason for going to work was not necessarily for the money. And I see this phenomenon a lot in the affluent neighbourhoods too, in which both parents do not need to work but choose to do so full time, picking up their babies/toddlers at 4 and even 5pm. I'm genuinely not understanding it. I actually think it should be illegal.
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causemommysaid









  


Post  Thu, Sep 07 2017, 8:44 pm
amother wrote:
Quote:
Thank you amother royal blue, for plunging your knife and twisting it into the hearts of all working moms who have to work full time and dont get to choose convenient short hours or have onsite day care that they can pop into a few times a day. As if they didn't already feel bad enough that they have to be away from their babies all day, you just made them feel that teeny bit worse. Onaas devarim much? Thank you very much indeed.


Sorry for causing you pain. I honestly was not talking to all the mothers who have no choice but to work in order to provide for their families. Op mentioned that her reason for going to work was not necessarily for the money. And I see this phenomenon a lot in the affluent neighbourhoods too, in which both parents do not need to work but choose to do so full time, picking up their babies/toddlers at 4 and even 5pm. I'm genuinely not understanding it. I actually think it should be illegal.


Yes but by expressing how horrible you think it is, you make a bunch of hard working moms who wish they can stay home with their kids feel like cr@p.
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amother




Bisque


Post  Thu, Sep 07 2017, 9:09 pm
amother wrote:
Quote:
Thank you amother royal blue, for plunging your knife and twisting it into the hearts of all working moms who have to work full time and dont get to choose convenient short hours or have onsite day care that they can pop into a few times a day. As if they didn't already feel bad enough that they have to be away from their babies all day, you just made them feel that teeny bit worse. Onaas devarim much? Thank you very much indeed.


Sorry for causing you pain. I honestly was not talking to all the mothers who have no choice but to work in order to provide for their families. Op mentioned that her reason for going to work was not necessarily for the money. And I see this phenomenon a lot in the affluent neighbourhoods too, in which both parents do not need to work but choose to do so full time, picking up their babies/toddlers at 4 and even 5pm. I'm genuinely not understanding it. I actually think it should be illegal.


I pick up my daughter at 6. Please explain to me why it should be illegal. Its not like I've left her by the side of the road. She's being cared for by an adult.
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amother




Royalblue


Post  Thu, Sep 07 2017, 9:25 pm
Quote:
I pick up my daughter at 6. Please explain to me why it should be illegal. Its not like I've left her by the side of the road. She's being cared for by an adult.


Because would YOU like to be dropped off to be cared for by someone else from morning until night? Even ten year olds coming home from school at 3 or 4pm are exhausted and need time to unwind, and their bedtimes are not an hour or two after coming home.

What I'm saying is not popular because it's offensive to mothers but guess what? Keeping quiet would be offensive to kids. They can't speak up for themselves but I can bet you 100 bucks that if they could express themselves and if you asked them to choose, not one of them would choose that kind of a lifestyle, even if they get to sit in a doona stroller (whatever that is) all the way home.

Yes, if you have no choice and something happened causing you to HAVE to work, of course they'll get over it. But CHOOSING this kind of lifestyle for your child, not out of need but because it suits you better should not be legal.
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tichellady









  


Post  Thu, Sep 07 2017, 10:12 pm
amother wrote:
Quote:
I pick up my daughter at 6. Please explain to me why it should be illegal. Its not like I've left her by the side of the road. She's being cared for by an adult.


Because would YOU like to be dropped off to be cared for by someone else from morning until night? Even ten year olds coming home from school at 3 or 4pm are exhausted and need time to unwind, and their bedtimes are not an hour or two after coming home.

What I'm saying is not popular because it's offensive to mothers but guess what? Keeping quiet would be offensive to kids. They can't speak up for themselves but I can bet you 100 bucks that if they could express themselves and if you asked them to choose, not one of them would choose that kind of a lifestyle, even if they get to sit in a doona stroller (whatever that is) all the way home.

Yes, if you have no choice and something happened causing you to HAVE to work, of course they'll get over it. But CHOOSING this kind of lifestyle for your child, not out of need but because it suits you better should not be legal.


Many kids prefer being in a daycare or gan than being at home ( especially with an unhappy, unsatisfied mother). I personally loved gan and begged my mom to go full-time like all my friends whose parents worked. Anyways parents make all sorts of choices that children might not love. Does every child want younger siblings? Do they get to vote on whether their parents having another child is in their best interest? Parents make decisions that work best for the family unit and they are not always in the best interest of every family member at his/her stage.
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amother




Bisque


Post  Thu, Sep 07 2017, 11:00 pm
amother wrote:
Quote:
I pick up my daughter at 6. Please explain to me why it should be illegal. Its not like I've left her by the side of the road. She's being cared for by an adult.


Because would YOU like to be dropped off to be cared for by someone else from morning until night? Even ten year olds coming home from school at 3 or 4pm are exhausted and need time to unwind, and their bedtimes are not an hour or two after coming home.

What I'm saying is not popular because it's offensive to mothers but guess what? Keeping quiet would be offensive to kids. They can't speak up for themselves but I can bet you 100 bucks that if they could express themselves and if you asked them to choose, not one of them would choose that kind of a lifestyle, even if they get to sit in a doona stroller (whatever that is) all the way home.

Yes, if you have no choice and something happened causing you to HAVE to work, of course they'll get over it. But CHOOSING this kind of lifestyle for your child, not out of need but because it suits you better should not be legal.


my daughter is being cared for - that's what matters. She's happy. She missed your lecture on "mother good", "else" bad.

I'm not offended. I disagree with you.

What lifestyle do you think my child should have?
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amother




Copper


Post  Tue, Sep 12 2017, 2:08 pm
Ok here... so I told my boss the news and he was shocked. He just told me "ok". He didn't ask me any details and my pay.
My other workmate told me a bit later that he called her in and he told her that he was so upset. He just can't understand why and he feels like his business is crumbling... She made him feel better by saying that she will stay an extra hour 2x a week until he finds someone to take over my position. She also told him that I am making a lot more money in the new place and that I have the chance to grow there. Basically he was really upset (makes me feel Great, just wondering why I never felt that great to him especiallyin my no weekly paychecks).
He called me after hours on Friday to find out what I'm going to do and my money and I told him and he told me that he wouldn't be able to match that and he is happy for me.
He has been very upset these days and his office door is always closed and he is very brief with me. I'm chilled about it and I am happy to move onto better and bigger. I'm glad to see my value as an employee and I hope to put the same energy plus into the new place. Thank you for all that wrote back and I'll update you in a year from now iyH on my new place...
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