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Forum
-> Relationships
-> Manners & Etiquette
amother
Fuchsia
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Sun, Dec 24 2017, 5:32 am
My neighbor borrowed some ingredients over a week ago and I'd like it back. Wasn't majorly expensive but to me it's money and thing I have to go buy to replace. What's a tactful way to ask for let's say a dozen eggs back?
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CDL
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Sun, Dec 24 2017, 5:36 am
Text her “ hi did you have a chance yet to get a dozen eggs? I never got more and if you have them that would be so convenient!”
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amother
Fuchsia
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Sun, Dec 24 2017, 5:38 am
Even a week later? She borrowed last Sunday
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ontheotherside
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Sun, Dec 24 2017, 5:42 am
You don’t need to say you didn’t replace it say you just ran out and can use the favor in return!!
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CDL
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Sun, Dec 24 2017, 5:44 am
So just say “hi I’m out of eggs, do you have a dozen for me? That would be great, thanks”
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thunderstorm
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Sun, Dec 24 2017, 5:47 am
OP some neighbors don't care if items are not returned. So if you need someone to return all items you lend you need to verbally tell them when you lend the item, "I have a dozen eggs I can lend you but I need you to return the dozen by Thursday, if you don't mind. Thanks"
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33055
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Sun, Dec 24 2017, 5:56 am
I would just outright ask instead of making up a story.
You could ask if she forgot she owed you eggs.
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momX4
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Sun, Dec 24 2017, 6:36 am
My neighbor never returned stuff. I stopped giving her things, unless I was in a generous mood. I would say no to milk or eggs, but yes to a cup of sugar or 1 onion.
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amother
Brown
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Sun, Dec 24 2017, 6:40 am
Forget about the eggs and stop lending stuff that you expect back.
Some people are just like that and you will keep being uncomfortable to ask for the stuff back.
I have such a neighbor, I only lend something that I truly don’t need back.
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watergirl
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Sun, Dec 24 2017, 6:51 am
My neighbor and I send a quick paypal to eachother after borrowing something to avoid this type of situation.
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amother
Forestgreen
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Sun, Dec 24 2017, 6:51 am
I posted not too long ago about a neighbor who was borrowing things from me so constantly and never returning anything that I was beginning to feel like a soup kitchen. I was so fed up and came here to ask advice. Meanwhile since that time she never asked me for anything again. Can't help but wonder if she was on Imamother and saw the thread and got the message.
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amother
Babypink
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Sun, Dec 24 2017, 7:39 am
My friends and I have a unwritten understanding that when we "borrow" something we don't always return it.
If I borrow eggs from one friend she might come and borrow flour from me and we will be "even".
We make a point of saying it is a gift so we don't have a halacha issue.
I would forget about the eggs and move forward. Next time either say you can't because you need them or if you don't mind lending say that you need it replaced in a day.
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amother
Olive
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Sun, Dec 24 2017, 8:05 am
What about if neighbor borrows $. Need tactful reminder. Do you have my $20? What's a nice way to remind them.
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imasoftov
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Sun, Dec 24 2017, 8:19 am
amother wrote: | What about if neighbor borrows $. Need tactful reminder. Do you have my $20? What's a nice way to remind them. |
the underlined is a perfectly fine way to remind them
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tigerwife
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Sun, Dec 24 2017, 9:45 am
Why are you afraid of asking for your money or ingredients back?
If it were me, there's a 90% chance I'd forgotten about it (which is why avoid borrowing in the first place) and would be grateful for the reminder.
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Surrendered
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Sun, Dec 24 2017, 10:38 am
If it's an inexpensive food item, (either I tell them it's a gift) or I make up in my mind that I'm mochel. Otherwise, I would ask them if I can 'borrow' that item (back). But I have a policy that I do not lend anything electronic or something that will bother me if it breaks. (Cause very likely they won't buy me back a new one). Speaking from experience!
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octopus
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Sun, Dec 24 2017, 10:40 am
Wow, borrowing a dozen eggs are a gallon of milk is very different than borrowing 3 eggs or a cup of something.
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thanks
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Sun, Dec 24 2017, 10:44 am
I have an agreement with neighbors that if its a closed pack, I replace it, but if its a cup of sugar, or something like that, we don't expect it back.
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amother
Orange
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Sun, Dec 24 2017, 10:47 am
I also have such neighbors. Its annoying when they don't return stuff they borrow. Especially if they always borrow and I hardly borrow. If they come to borrow a dozen eggs, I tell them, I only have 3. And don't expect it back.
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cbg
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Sun, Dec 24 2017, 11:02 am
I thought eggs are something you MUST return.
That, and candles
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