Girls school monsey

33055

Wed, Jan 17 2018, 10:45 pm

gold21 wrote:

The education in BYM has a good reputation, it's actually too intense in my opinion, too much focus on grade performance, not a healthy balance. Anyway, it's solid enough to prepare the girls for the SATs and for good colleges. That's good enough in my book.

I myself did not attend BYM. I attended a high school elsewhere. The education level in my school was average, nothing special, but I felt prepared for college- except for lab. (No lab experience at all in the high school I attended, didn't even know how to work a microscope.) BYM offers a better education than what I received.

I was privileged enough to receive a great education. These schools fall short in what is available. I would love my own kids to have the same or better education than I had.

amother

Hotpink

Thu, Jan 18 2018, 10:26 am

Hi I've been following this thread.We are middle of the way chassidish ( meaning we believe in secular education, dh has a shtreimel, we are open minded, but we are not cool at all).
I would like to hear about Beis shifra Mirian. Is there a lot of peer pressure there? Academically and socially? Is the school caring?
I have the feeling that Bais Rochel has a lot of politics and peer pressure, so I'm not so excited about it

Blessing1

Thu, Jan 18 2018, 11:01 am

There are no politics in Bais Shifra Miriam. The parent body & students are mostly very simple ehrlich nice people. They emphasize on great middos & have a great education. Majority of their graduates/students are great ehrlich girls with sterling middos.
What do you mean by open minded? They don't accept chassidim that became cool, from what I hear they're starting to make an issue with driving-they won't accept you if you want to send there because they allow driving.

amother

Tangerine

Thu, Jan 18 2018, 11:48 am

amother wrote:

Bais yaakov chofeyz chaim sounds like what you re looking for .

Speaking from bitter experience, BY Chofetz Chaim is far from what the OP described to be looking for in a school. The school is run by bullies, the principal has no problem embarrassing girls in front of the entire school, and if your family is not an absolute snob don't even bother. The few years my daughter spent there were the worst of our lives. It didn't help that literally not a single mom would deign to speak to me.

I have a book of horror stories on BYCC. Say the word and I'll start talking.

amother

Cerulean

Thu, Jan 18 2018, 12:23 pm

amother wrote:

I’m sorry for your bitter experience there. I went there and had a very positive experience, as did my friends and classmates. My younger sisters are still there and in general the girls are very happy. I can’t say how they deal with issues and problems, as bH my siblings and I didn’t have any significant ones, ( and neither did my parents)

I went there as well. I have some siblings still there and my daughter is there. We all had/have very positive experiences there.
In addition I know many many happy families there.
To the comment above with the bitter experience. Every. Single. School. Has issues. Bycc may have it's issues but It is considered a good school and for the most part people are happy. In general I have heard stories about every single school in town. There will always be people who don't like schools and have bad experiences. It doesn't mean it's a bad school. Sometimes it means it's a bad for for your family. I hope you are happy with wtvr school your dd is in now.
I

amother

Tangerine

Thu, Jan 18 2018, 12:37 pm

Good for both of you, but unfortunately good experiences in that school are few and far between. This coming from myself, my friends who either sent there or attended the school, and some of the former staff.

Here's an example: Someone I know was told that every year they accept a few chassidish or formerly chassidish families so the local rabbanim can't tell them that they must accept some, and then they throw them out after 2 years.

They told a neighbor of mine that they're throwing her girls out because the family is too nebechdig for the school.

Another because the parents divorced, and they very openly tell people that they don't accept children of divorced parents.

Another because she was divorced and they told her she's the chessed case they were accepting so they'll look good to the community, but when she married a man that was a musician they got rid of her in a hurry because it's not an honorable occupation.

They told another neighbor of mine when they applied that chassidish people are a cancer.

As for myself, when I asked if they can please hold off charging me their building fee for a year, they asked me why I can't apply for food stamps and medicaid and use the money I was spending on food and insurance for the building fund.

Sweet people.

You are not under any obligation to believe a word I'm saying, but these are all true stories.
YSV officially does not accept BYCC students past 4th grade because they say those girls are too emotionally disturbed by the way the principal treated them. This they told me personally when I applied there after being shown the door. Because, BYCC said, my daughter is not smart enough for their precious school, she is an average B student, and that just wasn't good enough.

There is no board in the school, no one to talk to. The owner and his wife are the dean and principal respectively and run the school as a dictatorship.

amother

Tangerine

Thu, Jan 18 2018, 12:42 pm

Tangerine amother again.

For the OP, schools in Monsey are a sorry state. Have you tried YSV? Bas Mikroh is also a nice school, however they academics are lacking a bit.

If you're willing to go a little more modern, maybe you should consider Ateres. From what I hear, they have a strong emphasis on middos, they don't tolerate bullying, and their academics are pretty okay.

amother

Salmon

Thu, Jan 18 2018, 4:01 pm

amother wrote:

The one thing in life I regret is not pulling my DD out when she came home with stories. I did nothing when her friends left due to harassment.

When my DD was targeted in 8th grade, we felt it was to late to pull her out.

She did graduate with an amazing education. We didn't feel it was worth it.

amother

Teal

Thu, Jan 18 2018, 4:05 pm

amother wrote:

One of the stories you shared I can confirm is 100% true as I know this person and heard the story from her first hand.?

amother

Tangerine

Thu, Jan 18 2018, 4:39 pm

amother wrote:

I am so sorry your daughter went through this, and I hope she's doing okay now. Towards the end of our last year there, my daughter was complaining of girls bullying her on the bus. I mentioned something to the principal, asked her if she can just check it out. I was told there are no bullies in our school, and they refused to listen to anything else after that. My kid was crying daily for me to drive her to and from school.

In hindsight, I'm glad we were thrown out before the damage was too great to fix. They destroyed my daughters self confidence, to the point where she's convinced she's too stupid to be good at any subject (seriously, she consistently gets 70-80 grades on tests. Not everyone is a genius, and she puts in so much effort for those grades my heart was breaking when she told me after the switch that she's just too stupid to bother trying). She was afraid to make friends until 2 years after she was out.

Sometimes I wonder how they are still in business, although I do know that class sizes are shrinking - for this year they closed some parallel classes because there wasn't enough students to justify having 2 classes for some grades.

amother

Lime

Thu, Jan 18 2018, 5:22 pm

I am honestly confused by these stories. I had girls in my class whose parents were divorced. As well as some with families that can be considered nebach. The reason YSV doesn’t accept girls from BYCC is not emotional damage. It’s for other, political reasons. I am not saying that your making stuff up. I’m just very surprised. The story about bullying also sounds surprising. I still remember getting into deep, deep trouble in 4th grade for getting into a fight with someone. (School social worker and all). I think we’re all missing some information here. In any case, let’s not turn this thread into a detailed discussion on specific incidents and situations that occurred. Tangerine, why don’t you share where you send now? Is your daughter happier there? Are you? Pros and cons?
Thanks!

amother

Tangerine

Thu, Jan 18 2018, 5:30 pm

amother wrote:

I'll be outing myself if I do, so I'm not going to post where my daughter attends school these days. She is very happy these days, although it's taken much emotional strength out of both of us to get to where we are now.

My stories are either first hand (what YSV told me when I applied), or that I heard first hand from people I personally know, including the divorced women. I doubt there are politics involved, there are plenty of schools that are happy to take girls from BYCC, baggage and all.

The nebach family was my neighbor, I will never forget the tears she shed when she got that letter (because of course they can't tell people to their face that they're no longer good enough). Who does that to people?? Like I said above - good for you that you had a good experience. From what I hear, the horrors far outweigh the good ones. An education like that is an absolute waste. This is no way I'd want my children to behave.

Side point - getting into a physical or verbal fight is very different than being bullied in a place where no adults are around to witness it.