Why does Brooklyn have such a bad rap?

amother

Red

Sun, Jan 21 2018, 1:20 pm

amother wrote:

I don’t. The phrase is “bad rap”.

then the question is - what gives Brooklyn a bad rap, not why does it have a bad rap (because in the latter - the correct word is rep, or reputation).

and the answer is - people find it it to be snobby, stuffy, crowded...

(to have a bad rap, you need to have a 'rap sheet' of sorts.. a list of offences).

amother

Seafoam

Sun, Jan 21 2018, 1:30 pm

I live OOT and I do not think people from brooklyn (or anywhere in the tri state area) are less friendly or snobbier specifically. In every community you will find those who are friendly and those who are not. Those who are snobby and those who are not. Its pointless to make generalizations. Making a generalization that people in brooklyn are snobby and unfriendly is like when people generalize that out of towners are all 'nerdy outdated people who don't care about how they dress'.

amother royal blue brought up a good point. When you live somewhere spread out and are forced to drive everywhere then you are going to have less interaction with others.
I know who everyone is in my neighborhood, yet I rarely see them the whole winter. We all hibernate, only leaving the house to run to the car. As a matter in fact if someone moves in in the winter they would make the assumption that we are all snobby and unfriendly.

amother

Copper

Sun, Jan 21 2018, 1:35 pm

amother wrote:

It could have sounded better “why does it get such a bad rap” but they are both correctly used. Bad rap is just when someone/thing gets a bad rep bec of incorrect accusations ... my question being why is it considered snobby when I don’t find it to be so? Obviously this is a matter of opinion, thus opening the question to all to hear others’ thoughts.

amother

Khaki

Sun, Jan 21 2018, 1:43 pm

Brooklyn is very general and broad term and its not a community
Its divided in a lot of neighborhoods
Some blocks are more populated than others
In flatbush and I see in boro park also pple do not go shopping in shabbos clothes or stare at your shopping wagon
Im sure theres exceptions and that can be in any neighborhood
I agree with the insane parking situation and tons of police always ready to write you that summons
In contrast to brooklyn "snobby" stereotypes
I just want to bring out that in brooklyn most or all blocks , shuls, schools etc have every type wealthy, poor, yeshivish, chassidish , etc most get along fine together
There are no seperations here
Again there could be some exceptions but not brooklyn as a whole
As far as the chesed thats done in brooklyn ill leave it for different thread 🙂

amother

Red

Sun, Jan 21 2018, 1:51 pm

amother wrote:

Right - So the bad rap on Brooklyn is - its snobby (so that wasn't your question).

So they question is why do people find Brooklyn snobby. The answer is - either personal experience - or reputation. :

Personally - I find the whole Brooklyn is "in-town" vs everywhere else is "out of town" a snobby attitude. Its colors my feelings toward a Brooklynite before even meeting her.

amother

Brown

Sun, Jan 21 2018, 4:37 pm

So I grew up in real OOT where if you met a frum yid who didn’t live there you invited them for Shabbos or offered assistance as they were likely visiting the local hospital and we didn’t have takeout places or restaurants. You knew everyone. Seriously- there weren’t too many of us. We were very friendly and helpful. I didn’t know it was any different.
Moved to a larger OOT community later on and it was weird not knowing everyone. But people were still friendly, saw we were new and came to say hi, invited us for meals etc.
then I lived in Brooklyn for a few years. People actively wouldn’t say hi, even when I said good morning to them. They looked at me like I was an alien, would not respond, sneered and even once meanly responded to my polite gesture of friendliness with an obnoxious comment. Others told me that I was weird for saying good morning to people I didn’t know. Yes, there were a few friendly people we met but it was not the norm. A neighbor dropped something on the curb (kids toy) so I knocked on the door to return it. No hi, no thanks. Just opened the door, took it and slammed it shut.

I left as soon as I could and am living OOT with friendly people who smile, say good Shabbos even if we don’t know each other etc. yes, we are not all perfect but I don’t see the same types of behavior as in Brooklyn. Not all Brooklyn residents are nasty and not all OOT are wonderful but this was my experience as a whole...

gold21

Sun, Jan 21 2018, 5:38 pm

There's a sense in Bklyn that you have to "be" something to fit in- depending on the neighborhood, you may need to be trendy or be simple or be yeshivish or be heimish or be modern or be well dressed or be nerdy or be rich or be poor or be whatever. You have to "be" whatever it is that you're supposed to be in that neighborhood to fit in.

The more out of town you go, the less pressure there is to "be" anything. You aren't as religious as your neighbors? No problem. You have a unique sense of fashion and dislike what is being offered in Brenda's/ Talking Fashion/ Junees/name your favorite store? Go for it. Youre more right wing than your neighbors? That's fine too. You're a female that enjoys playing basketball in the park? A man who wheels a "Bubby" cart down the street with his briefcase inside it? A female that baby-wears her twin babies while shopping? A male that has long peyos, speaks only Yiddish, and wears Rangers t-shirts with skinny jeans? Hey, whatever.

I'm kind of exaggerating to make a point Wink

, but there's a sense in of town communities (of course the more "out of town"y the community, the more you'll feel this way) that you don't have to "be" anything but yourself to fit in and be accepted.

amother

Burlywood

Sun, Jan 21 2018, 6:09 pm

Gold21 I live in Cleveland and honestly you were not exaggeration lol! That’s exactly what it’s like! Left my stroller in the car over shabbos, wore my baby carrier down the block to friends for the shabbos meal... I’m from NY, it’s unheard of to use a baby carrier in those circles!

mommy3b2c

Sun, Jan 21 2018, 6:28 pm

amother wrote:

Except that I used one, and no ones kicked me out yet. I didn’t lose any friends over it either. My kids weren’t even kicked out of school! Can you believe it?

Boca00

Sun, Jan 21 2018, 6:50 pm

mommy3b2c wrote:

Except that I used one, and no ones kicked me out yet. I didn’t lose any friends over it either. My kids weren’t even kicked out of school! Can you believe it?

No way.

Well, when your kids are in shidduchim, we'll see what everyone REALLY thinks about you using a baby carrier. Wink

imamother153

Sun, Jan 21 2018, 6:56 pm

amother wrote:

I think by shabbes clothing she refers to the people who dress in designer clothing or finer fabrics and prints which she's used too being reserved for shabbes clothing only.

Boca00

Sun, Jan 21 2018, 7:05 pm

mommy3b2c wrote:

Oh no! I’m so worried! I should have thought of that. Now we’re doomed!

Well, not completely doomed. You have two choices now:

1. Marry your kids to out-of-towners who won't understand the horror and terror that is baby carriers.

2. Delete your posts upthread and bribe your friends, neighbors and anyone who may have seen you with hush money.

gold21

Sun, Jan 21 2018, 8:07 pm

amother wrote:

What’s wrong with baby carriers?

Not quite sure, to be honest. It's just one of the running jokes I've heard, along with "bubby carts" and some other random stuff that are apparently beneath the level of good bais yaakov maidels or something.

Honestly seems like both baby carriers and bubby carts are practical and useful, but I dunno. Kind of all goes over my head.

Last edited by gold21 on Sun, Jan 21 2018, 8:09 pm; edited 1 time in total

amother

Brown

Sun, Jan 21 2018, 8:09 pm

amother wrote:

What’s wrong with baby carriers?

It’s shlumpy. Because convenience and your sanity is not worth the possibility of people thinking poorly of you...
I was told I needed a different coat or people wouldn’t want to associate with me. It wasn’t bright yellow- just not standard type of black coat. I went for warmth and convenience over the thin popular style.

amother

Maroon

Sun, Jan 21 2018, 8:38 pm

One of my favorite parts of leaving "in town" to board in an "out of town" school was... the backpack! I was able to wear a comfy, large backpack (jansport or some other non-fashionable, very functional brand). That's what all the girls wore, and even if not, they wouldn't have blinked an eye at my choice.
In my hometown, backpacks were a huge no no. (Even the backpacks that have been in style lately wouldn't have been good enough for me; I needed something large, with large comfortable straps, not a fashion item.)