13 year old DD HATES her school

amother

Goldenrod

Sat, Mar 03 2018, 9:48 pm

My 13 year old DD hates her school. She is in 7th grade and has one more year to go. Until recently I've assumed it's because she is 13 and she is liable to hate everything depending on her mood. However she is continually frustrated by her teachers poor teaching abilities or curriculum. She is in a math class where everyone works at their own level. There is very little actual instruction however of the instruction, the teacher will go over a few problems and then have the kids perform work on their own and "teach themselves".

I can understand why she is frustrated with this method.

Also, in Hebrew she has a 25 year old girl with a "teaching certificate" whom she says can't teach at all. Of the 30 units the teacher promised to get through in a year, my DD says they are on unit 7.

She also hates the style of her ELA teacher.

All these teachers are recurring from year to year because the school is so small that the teachers have multiple grades to teach.

So my DD has grown some amount of resentment over the years.

But there is literally nowhere else my DD agrees to go.

We don't live in NY or NJ so it's not like we have great options. I mentioned the possibility of moving for high school to a more fitting community but my DD won't hear of it.

I understand that 13 year olds don't get to make major life decisions but I also think they do get some say.

Anyone with similar experience? is this just a 13 yr old being a 13 year old? I have never had a 13 yr old girl before. However when I was 13, I don't remember ever being so opinionated. And if I was, generally it didn't matter.

momnaturally

Sun, Mar 04 2018, 8:30 am

It's hard to give you good advice since there are so many variables.
I will just write a suggestion. If something is relevant then great if not just disregard.
Many challenges this too help with emotional support. If dd feels you are pushing to go to school it's much more challenging than if she chooses to go. Discuss her options with her. Let her feel she has decision power. Instead of you suggesting things which she may interpret as you trying to get her to do this let her make the suggestions. Ask her what she wants, what she thinks...don't offer your solutions unless she tries to come up with her own first and asks you for your opinion. Imagine you were talking to a friends daughter instead of yours. It may change the dynamic of the conversation.

naomi2

Sun, Mar 04 2018, 9:03 am

This is very interesting. Your dd hates school because of 2 examples that you gave but for the exact opposite reasons. The math class is bad because each child learns at their own level but the other class is taught too slowly. Maybe to accommodate all students? You can't have it both ways. It sounds like her complaints are just parroting what she heard other people say. Is that possible? Also, it sounds like you have no other school options.

amother

Black

Sun, Mar 04 2018, 9:59 am

It's something she should stick out for another year until she graduates. There's value in learning how to persevere through difficult situations. There's value in learning to be stable. We don't run away when things get uncomfortable or difficult.
And she can spend the next 15 months researching, preparing for, anticipating a great new high school.