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Forum
-> Parenting our children
thunderstorm
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Wed, Aug 21 2019, 3:52 pm
My DS age 9 still wets his bed. He wears Good Nites but leaks all over and wakes up drenched every morning regardless. His daycamp is having an overnight tomorrow (I don’t know details yet , but I’m assuming in a tent somewhere ) . He mentioned to me that he can’t go because of his bedwetting. I tried downplaying it and told him that I’m sure there are others with the same issue. He says he’s for sure the only one and he is way to ashamed. It’s bad enough he feels shame (in our family boys bedwetting is hereditary and I never make a big deal other than request that he strip his sheets sometimes and I make sure he’s wearing the proper gear before bed) . I don’t want him to miss out on the fun because of this. But I don’t want him to suffer anxiety and shame because of this either. What would you do in a situation like this?
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sweetart
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Wed, Aug 21 2019, 3:56 pm
I think that there is medication to prevent bedwetting that can be given on "special occasions" like this.
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southernbubby
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Wed, Aug 21 2019, 4:04 pm
I have seen kids who wet skip the overnight. I would encourage you not to send him.
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amother
Ruby
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Wed, Aug 21 2019, 4:06 pm
I would not send him. Too risky. Kids can be very cruel, and his peers will not be understanding.
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LovesHashem
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Wed, Aug 21 2019, 4:12 pm
Weird idea but would he be comfortable with a counselor knowing and perhaps waking him up earlier than everyone else, giving him time to strip the sheets, clean himself up, etc?
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amother
Crimson
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Wed, Aug 21 2019, 4:13 pm
Just had this with my 11 year old.
My pediatrician is against the pills but for this gives.
Call dr and see if can get today. Test it tonight.
My son slept so little on his overnight I don’t think he would have had an accident.
Find out the schedule. If it’s the type we’re they have 4 hours to sleep he should be fine.
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amother
Ruby
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Wed, Aug 21 2019, 4:16 pm
LovesHashem wrote: | Weird idea but would he be comfortable with a counselor knowing and perhaps waking him up earlier than everyone else, giving him time to strip the sheets, clean himself up, etc? |
I wouldn't count on that at all. The counselor is a teen, he could forget or sleep in himself.
And during these overnights, some kids never go to sleep at all, or sleep so lightly that they will wake at every movement. He won't be able to strip his sheets in a communal tent without everyone noticing.
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amother
Royalblue
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Wed, Aug 21 2019, 4:24 pm
Let him stay home.
Missing one night of a fun, wonderful experience is a small price to pay for being tormented by the other kids for an indefinite amount of time.
I know nothing about pills or anything alternative options. They may be great and a wonderful option but are out of my knowledge base.
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Rappel
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Wed, Aug 21 2019, 4:27 pm
As everyone else said: no one sleeps on an overnight. So is it possible for him to go regularly throughout the night, in between bouts of fun, so when he nods off at 4 am he'll be in the clear?
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amother
Ruby
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Wed, Aug 21 2019, 4:29 pm
Rappel wrote: | As everyone else said: no one sleeps on an overnight. So is it possible for him to go regularly throughout the night, in between bouts of fun, so when he nods off at 4 am he'll be in the clear? |
That's only possible if he really is one of those kids who can stay up all night.
IME, after years of hosting sleepover parties, there are some kids who can stay up all night (and will!), and there are some kids who just collapse around midnight or 1 am.
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amother
Floralwhite
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Wed, Aug 21 2019, 5:12 pm
What bed??
My son didn't even lie down during his overnight.
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zaq
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Wed, Aug 21 2019, 5:17 pm
Your son has a good head on his shoulders. He has the right idea.
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amother
Babyblue
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Wed, Aug 21 2019, 5:21 pm
Most of the kids in my nine year olds bunk slept around 5-6 hours on their overnight. That's definitely enough time for an accident to happen. If it were my son I would absolutely respect his wish to stay home. I also think that if you push him to go and it doesn't turn out well, besides for whatever suffering he'll experience he'll also resent you for it.
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amother
Papaya
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Wed, Aug 21 2019, 5:24 pm
I wouldn't send. He's big enough to make the choice of which he would prefer. He would also have to live with the anxiety about whether or not he would wet or leak the whole time. And yes, although it is not an uncommon issue at that age it is not something kids publicly share and it puts him in a very risky predicament. Kids can be mean at times. Iyh he will have many more opportunities for overnights after he outgrows this.
As an aside, the alarm really helped my son overcome bedwetting
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amother
Ruby
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Wed, Aug 21 2019, 5:28 pm
amother [ Babyblue ] wrote: | Most of the kids in my nine year olds bunk slept around 5-6 hours on their overnight. That's definitely enough time for an accident to happen. |
This. It's the older kids (11 and up) who can stay up all night. The nine year olds usually do sleep half the night.
I wouldn't risk it. Doesn't matter whether it is common or not, it's something that can make him the laughingstock of the class.
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oneofakind
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Wed, Aug 21 2019, 5:33 pm
Have you tried the bell method? The child sleeps on this blanket/sheet that is wired to buzz when it gets wet. Some kids need just a few nights and they start sleeping a bit lighter to wake up themselves when they need a bathroom. Some insurances even pay for it. Worked for us.
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SixOfWands
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Wed, Aug 21 2019, 5:39 pm
thunderstorm wrote: | My DS age 9 still wets his bed. He wears Good Nites but leaks all over and wakes up drenched every morning regardless. His daycamp is having an overnight tomorrow (I don’t know details yet , but I’m assuming in a tent somewhere ) . He mentioned to me that he can’t go because of his bedwetting. I tried downplaying it and told him that I’m sure there are others with the same issue. He says he’s for sure the only one and he is way to ashamed. It’s bad enough he feels shame (in our family boys bedwetting is hereditary and I never make a big deal other than request that he strip his sheets sometimes and I make sure he’s wearing the proper gear before bed) . I don’t want him to miss out on the fun because of this. But I don’t want him to suffer anxiety and shame because of this either. What would you do in a situation like this? |
This isn't a case of him wetting occasionally, or having to wear a pull-up that kids might see. This is a kid who wets every night, and who routinely leaks out of the pull-up. Its not a question of maybe he will wet, maybe he won't. He WILL wet. And for better or for worse, at age 9, he will be teased if the other kids find out.
Tell him that if he wants to go, you'll work with him and his counselor to find a way to make it happen. (A diaper doubler in his Good Nites? A disposable pad inside his sleeping bag?)
But if he doesn't want to go, you won't push him.
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amother
Taupe
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Wed, Aug 21 2019, 5:42 pm
Is the camp close to you that you could pick him up late at night so he could have sometime there and say he has an early appointment like doctor that he needs to go to.
I did that with one of my kids but I had a follow through with my excuse because I did not want him to think that I was lying.
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amother
Brunette
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Wed, Aug 21 2019, 5:51 pm
Name of the medicine is desmopressin and it works amazingly well! I don't know if you can get hold of a script before the overnight!
My daughter takes it. I'm still not sure why some drs are against it but not all the drs in my practice will do it!
For her, it changed her life!
To wake up wet EVERY SINGLE MORNING is pure TORTURE!! for kids and their mom!!!
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amother
Cobalt
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Wed, Aug 21 2019, 6:02 pm
My 9 year old had multiple overnights that he missed for this reason. We tried the pills and they didn't work for him. Each of the overnights we handled differently. One he missed entirely, the others he went late or left early. It was exhausting for me, but I wouldn't have risked him having an accident, cleaning up, and kids finding out.
On the other hand, his older brother was an occasional bedwetter, and did just fine on the overnights.
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