Nosh or no nosh | Imamother

ra_mom

Sat, Oct 24 2020, 10:46 pm

behappy2 wrote:

Friday night I give them a treat (piece of cake or a large candy for example fruit roll up). Shabbos morning a small cupcake and a candy. Dessert ice cream. Shabbos party is usually chocolates or candies and cookies or cake if they want.

How did this start? Why not change things slowly? Serve apple pie Friday night. Don't discuss that it has fruit in it. Not every week. Change things up slowly and still make that cake dessert some weeks. Strawberry frozen dessert sometimes. Someday they may be happy with natural homemade pink applesauce.

Shabbos morning is cupcake. Doesn't have to be small. Phase out the candy and keep the cupcakes out so they dont feel it's being counted out and they can take another piece of cake if they want. It's about changing habits.

Shabbos party give out 2 nosh along with fancy popcorn, salted nuts and cut melon. Make a big party. Don't limit. It's about getting used to noshing on healthy options like fruit and nuts. Keep out the big nice bowls. Don't offer. Let them watch you eating it during shabbos party. Healthy eating is developed by osmosis. One day you'll see them reaching in for the delicious healthy choices. And the 2 shabbos party nosh are fine too along with the rest.

miami85

Sat, Oct 24 2020, 10:50 pm

Our shabbos party is typically a chip/pretzels/popcorn and a sweet candy.

We are not anti-nosh, we are not free-flowing nosh.

An example of what my kids did on their own tonight at shalosh seudos--they had a "party" at the kitchen table with carrots, clementines and the pot-popped popcorn (a little oil and salt that's it)

My kid's favorite snacks are pretzels and celery. Of course they love their candy but they also accept healthier options.

amother

Jetblack

Sat, Oct 24 2020, 10:54 pm

A nosh free house is basically asking for your kids to find it elsewhere and develop an unhealthy relationship with junk food.
I would work on starting to make the nosh healthier. You have cake shabbos morning? Make it peanut butter oatmeal chocolate cookies instead. Those are yum and healthy ish. Make popcorn for shabbos party and let them choose spices for it and come up with fun combinations. For dessert try out some new recipes with healthier ingredients. Don't make it that you're taking it away, junk food in proportion is healthy and helps kids learn to develop healthy relationships with food

amother

Copper

Sat, Oct 24 2020, 10:58 pm

amother [ Sapphire ] wrote:

This is exactly why you should not completely eliminate it. These parents are in denial if they think their kids aren’t doing this at others’ houses. I was once at a party where a kid literally stuffed his pockets with all the candy at the party. My son has a friend who comes to our house and consumes ridiculously large amounts of candy. Please weigh their emotional health as well as their physical health. Encourage healthy eating, serve healthy foods, and allow them some treats. Also, not all treats are equally bad. Read ingredients. As with everything in life, moderation is key.

My DS gets plenty of snacks and nosh at home and still acts like this. I am more health-minded, so I can totally see other people judging me based on my kid's actions. But, these people might not know that we have a nosh drawer and kids can take all kinds of regular snacks for school, we have dessert after meals on Shabbos, and weekly Shabbos party. IDK why he is like this but DS will literally drink a bottle of soda unless someone stops him. In shul DS is at the coffee station stealing sugar cubes, not just one or two or three, but like 20. DH tries to be on top of him, but he doesn't want to be overbearing nor does he always remember. At the shul kiddush and other events he takes first (as many times as we remind him that it's not nice to take first, especially if there are adults) and piles up his plate.

We have other children and he is the only one who is like this. I honestly don't know what to do with him and keep hoping that he'll outgrow it.

BetsyTacy

Sat, Oct 24 2020, 11:01 pm

It also helps if the main meal is already not full of "dessert". Sweet side dishes that contain as much sugar as a dessert. Sauces on chicken that contain tons of sugar. The kid whose main food at the meal is white-flour sweet challah.

I would rather eat a healthy piece of chicken and save my sugar for my chocolate cake.

amother

Sienna

Sat, Oct 24 2020, 11:07 pm

amother [ Copper ] wrote:

Not trying to derail the thread but my ds is Exactly the same. He will always take first and tons. No thought for portion sizes or other people that may want. And although I don't allow nosh freely, we definitely always had regular meals, snacks, treats, shabbos party, dessert... He is over bar mitzvah and does not seem to be outgrowing it Sad

amother

Copper

Sat, Oct 24 2020, 11:31 pm

amother [ Sienna ] wrote:

A rule in our house is when you take from the center serving plate, you should make sure that there's enough for eveyrone to take as much as you take. We apply this equally to sour pickles, cake, or milk or ketchup when the bottle is nearly empty. So for IN our house, when I am there and see what's going on, I'll just ask him to check that there's enough for everyone. My goal is for him to learn to be considerate. But when in public, a) it's harder to gauge if there's enough for everyone b) sometimes there is enough but he's still taking too much and c) neither I nor DH want to discipline him or make him feel bad

We both avoid harping on the over-eating, grabbing, it's not healthy aspect and avoid commenting too much because we feel it'll make the problem worse, but we can't ignore it all the time either and do mention it when necessary.

srbmom

Sun, Oct 25 2020, 9:21 am

Quote:

Yes! They'll groan a couple of weeks and then they will get used to it and as adults they will thank you for it.

Huh? Does this actually happen? Both my DH and I were the kids "deprived" of nosh when we were growing up and we are now junk food junkies. I let my kids basically eat whatever they want - at the same time explaining the difference between healthy and unhealthy food choices- and I hope as they grow older they develop much better eating habits than my husband and I have