Binaha magazine story on anorexia

amother

Green

Sun, Nov 01 2020, 4:03 pm

amother [ Bisque ] wrote:

AN is an awful disorder. My DD went through an episode about 2 yrs ago and I wouldn't wish it on any parent. It was terrifying, heart wrenching and completely life altering for the entire family. Although my DD is "recovered" BH, we are always on the lookout for "it" to rear its ugly head. Once an AN sufferer, always a sufferer. We were fortunate to have a intensive outpatient program in our city that was well regarded and we could get in right away. We basically dragged our DD, literally kicking and screaming, to the first several days of the program. I laid awake at night worrying about my DD and thinking over how I could have done better that day to get my DD to eat and not get into a power struggle over eating. Worried she would do something irreversible to herself to end her pain and suffering. We were lucky. Our DD was on the road to recover (but not completely recovered) within a 4-5 months with the help of her program, friends and school. We found a wonderful nutritionist but it was very difficult to find a good psychotherapist after she graduated from the outpatient program. We have a child psychiatrist that my DD hates to this day but she still sees her periodically.

I catch my DD occasionally judging herself in the mirror lately. I see the look on her face sometimes as I see her worrying about the food she is eating while life is so abnormal with COVID and she is stuck at home a lot because of quarantine and whatnot. She doesn't want to go back to where she was before but I see it is on her mind. She is worrying about going back there. She picks up subconscious cues when she my DH inadvertently judges himself and disparages his own looks because he is overweight. When my DD was going threw the throws of AN, he did not dare mention weight or exercise or dieting.

I remember that back then, I would have given anything for my DD to not care about her weight or even be overweight. I would rather have that then AN. I despised the ads on social media, TV and all the emphasis on a woman "looking her best". I despised teenager angst and teen girls' desire to be pretty and "acceptable".

I don't read Binah. I don't think I would ever be able to read the series even if I had the magazine to read. It's a total triggering moment and maybe I have some level of PTSD from it all. Terrified that it might happen again. BH, I'm so thankful that we are on the other side of that episode from 2 yrs ago.

Thanks for letting me unload.

I agree
As much as you read about it, if you weren't there in the trenches you'll never understand the horrible fear that's the all the time.how sneaky AN is....
Till now 5 yrs later there are foods that I made for my dc that I still can stomach. I totally have PTSD.
That's why when I read third serial story, I'm so hoping she'll do the better option but I also know where she's coming from and how she came to the decisions she's making....