Dh working chol hamoed

amother

Lemon

Sun, Mar 21 2021, 9:48 am

amother [ Denim ] wrote:

Yom tov is Sunday - Monday and then shabbos - sunday. You only lose 1 day of PTO this year. Its really not bad.

But, don't forget Shavous is coming up. That is another 2 days to take into account.

amother

Royalblue

Sun, Mar 21 2021, 12:27 pm

Chickensoupprof wrote:

Reading all this, I think the US should have a frum Jewish labour union.

Even with a union, it is not peaches and cream.

I work full time under a union. I am given a number of days I can take off for "holy days" but I get docked. So I take off for YT, chol hamoed, erev YT and I lose hundreds, if not thousands from my salary. And I am left with no personal days at all. If I have a wedding OOT, I literally can't go. I would get a reprimand and then probably fired the next time.

amother

Gray

Sun, Mar 21 2021, 12:27 pm

amother [ Lemon ] wrote:

But, don't forget Shavous is coming up. That is another 2 days to take into account.

And the tishrei Chagim are all weekdays.

amother

Periwinkle

Sun, Mar 21 2021, 2:45 pm

OP I can relate Sad

I got married last year and just had a baby....a day after I had the baby the boss texted my dh when he is coming back. and my dh works sundays so I never see him Sad

maybe for chol hamoed ill take the baby on a walk but other than that I wont have much of a chol hamoed so I deff hear ya

amother

Cerulean

Sun, Mar 21 2021, 3:54 pm

amother [ Gray ] wrote:

And the tishrei Chagim are all weekdays.

I don’t think the issue here is solely that of amount of PTO days. I always used PTO days to cover the full chag and did so happily. The issue some of us face is that frum employers treat chol hamoed as ‘black out days’ and do not allow employees to take those days off.

amother

Lavender

Sun, Mar 21 2021, 4:03 pm

amother [ Dodgerblue ] wrote:

Kind of like the 21st century version of the 20th century shabbos nissayon in America. Halacha generally says you close in most situations but the lost profits of those days are just too hard to pass up. The difference is that when the boss goes against halacha (some hold its deoraysa on chol hamoed) and forces the Jewish employees to work (non davar haavud just harvacha) it actually becomes muttar for them in most cases (davar haavud). The boss still transgressing however. Probably most bosses simply lack awareness of the severity of the issur and what chazal say is the punishment of one who is “mevazeh es hamoados”- ein lo chelek leolam habah. Ask any of them how much they would sell their olam habah for and they wouldn’t do it for a months worth of profits. Simply a lack of awareness.

I’m curious if your DH is a business owner. Mine is. It’s not so clear cut. There are many ways and reasons where being open is 100% mutar.

amother

Babyblue

Sun, Mar 21 2021, 4:08 pm

I know ppl won’t like this but - Jewish bosses are the worst. Much better working for non jews, especially the religious ones.
Whether it’s working super late on winter Fridays, not taking off erev Yom tov, having a baby etc.

amother

Ivory

Sun, Mar 21 2021, 4:11 pm

amother [ Taupe ] wrote:

Does it make u feel better if I tell u dh has been a student for 6+ years. Bh working toward a prestigious degree. But for now - zero income AND at school/internship every single day incl erev everything, fast days, purim etc

How much longer does he have ? What degree ?

amother

Pink

Mon, Mar 22 2021, 1:32 am

My dh is also working on erev pesach, although he said he'll leave earlier than on a usual Friday. He said he has to because he's missing Monday. He doesn't realise how hard it's gona be for me on my own. He said it's like an erev shabbos lol. Wonder when he plans to burn the chometz. I need to ask him. Probably when he gets home because there is no time limit this year.

DVOM

Mon, Mar 22 2021, 3:00 am

This was us for many years. My husband was in school, and taking a week off was not an option. Often, he would stay at school the whole chol hamoed; He had hospital shifts that made it impossible to come home at all. It was hard, and I missed him, and it was difficult and exhausting creating a happy and upbeat chol hamoed for my kids by myself, but I don't remember feeling resentment. I knew it was temporary.

This year hubby will be with us the whole chag. He has a wonderful, flexible job that allows him to be his own boss and make his own schedule, which was our goal in the first place. I will be working remotely, but very little.

Op, is there room for growth in your husband's field? Can you look forward to more independence and choice in the future? If yes, that is what I'd focus on, and try to see this time in your life as an investment in his career.

amother

Azure

Mon, Mar 22 2021, 3:20 am

amother [ Ivory ] wrote:

How much longer does he have ? What degree ?

I'm not the poster you quoted, but dh in school for an MD and I could have written her post
We have a minimum 6 years ahead

ShishKabob

Mon, Mar 22 2021, 8:00 am

amother [ Babyblue ] wrote:

No, I don't like this at all! It's motze shem raah on a huge klal! Its not even Loshon Horah because it's simply not true!
I've worked for frum bosses that closed for the entire Yom Tov and I got paid like a regular week! And I have friends, neighbors and family that have the same setup! I am very grateful to have this experience. I'm sorry that many of you don't. But don't make it sound like it's across the board because it isn't.
FYI, B and H Photo is closed the entire Chol Hamoed.

amother

Plum

Mon, Mar 22 2021, 8:12 am

My husband is also a business owner who has to work all chol hamoed, most evenings, on Purim , tisha baav etc.

The idea of having enough money and being able to only work when you want to is not a realistic option for the vast majority of people in the world, let alone Jews with much more expenses

My first real job was with a large frum company in Brooklyn and we got off every YT and every legal holiday and we also got 3 weeks pto to start , increasing to 4 weeks after working there one year. That was very generous.

My last job- a large frum company in Lakewood- you max out at 9 days PTO a year, though salary employees do get off chol hamoed and YT is paid. Nine days was quickly exhausted each year when one kid got sick and then the next, there’s your nine days right there

amother

Slateblue

Mon, Mar 22 2021, 10:51 am

I work for a Jewish company. For Pesach we are closed but on succos, working on chol hamoed is optional. Get paid for time worked only. They don’t pay any time off like legal or Jewish holidays, no sick days or vacation and they treat the non Jewish employees much better. It’s sickening.

amother

Linen

Mon, Mar 22 2021, 5:11 pm

Work at a Jewish place too. I get no paid holidays- including ironically Labor Day. Yomim Tovim I get just the days of chag too, no erev, no chol hamoed. If I want to be paid I must use my PTO. If I run out of PTO they will let me take off but I won't be paid.

Frum employers aren't great in my experience. "Hey I keep Shabbos too so if I am here, you are here".

I feel for you. Husband is working too. We will juggle like we always do. So hard...

amother

Mon, Mar 22 2021, 5:16 pm

amother [ Smokey ] wrote:

Please, please,
Show your dh how much you appreciate how hard he works and how impressed you are.
Don’t badmouth his boss, it won’t make him feel better. On the contrary, it will make him resentful.
Tell him “ don’t worry about us at home, we are so lucky to have such a dedicated father that works so hard.”
I’ve seen the fallout doing it the other way. It doesn’t pay.

@amother smokey
Thank you for this. I appreciate the validation and yes, I amtrying to be supportive.