Anyone else have unexpected politics in the family?

amother

Sun, Apr 09 2023, 1:12 pm

I’m feeling so down and alone. I can’t believe how certain family members acted, but upset with myself that I didn’t look away or ignore it better.

amother

Iris

Sun, Apr 09 2023, 2:46 pm

My FIL was cranky and grouchy because the seder in our home didn't go as he expected.
He's a guest, in a home with teenagers that he doesn't relate to, and he expects them to sit quietly and not be bored by a traditional seder. We make the seder fun for all of our kids and he thinks it's sacrilegious.

aimhabanim

Sun, Apr 09 2023, 3:01 pm

amother OP wrote:

I’m feeling so down and alone. I can’t believe how certain family members acted, but upset with myself that I didn’t look away or ignore it better.

I can totally relate!!! I could have written this word for word!!! I’m in a lot of pain right now!!! Hope things get better for you!!!

amother

Diamond

Sun, Apr 09 2023, 3:05 pm

My brothers in law are screeching their lungs out and name-calling at every teeny inconvenience.

My mother in law said she is super happy her daughters husband's are nothing like her boys.

Lucky me my husband is in therapy so he only slipped up once or twice.

amother

Lilac

Sun, Apr 09 2023, 3:12 pm

I think every family has skeletons in the closet and politics. But you only usually know when you are part of the family.
Dh's family is more girls than boys and boy do they have politics. One sister wants everyone to come and visit her and doesn't understand why travelling for a couple of hours might inconvenience anyone. Another sister wants to come and stay for the shabbos after pesach and also doesn't seem to understand why that might be difficult.
Most of this seems to come from their mother who doesn't seem to have a clue what is appropriate and what isn't. She doesn't get why asking a favor is a big deal and then asking another favor on top of that.
My family has different issues and when I talk to my sisters in laws on both sides they also talk about how they have issues and it isn't as perfect as I might think.

amother

Mauve

Sun, Apr 09 2023, 3:38 pm

Yup. I was thinking of posting my own thread about if anyone survived the 3 day yuntif without any confrontations with extended family. It's hard when you don't even realize how volatile siblings can be and especially when their political opinions differ, they cause so many issues. I thought I wasn't close with this sibling just because we don't live near other and just have different personalities, but now I realize it's much more than that. It's sad but idk what to do. Our kids love each other and all played beautifully the entire yuntif. It was parents who had the issues...

amother

Sun, Apr 09 2023, 4:15 pm

aimhabanim wrote:

I can totally relate!!! I could have written this word for word!!! I’m in a lot of pain right now!!! Hope things get better for you!!!

Aimhabanim, so sad for you. Let’s daven for each other. Don’t really know how to daven for myself at the moment.

amother

Sun, Apr 09 2023, 4:21 pm

amother Mauve wrote:

This describes our situation as well. I don’t know why adult siblings think it’s okay to treat each other poorly. It’s like reverting back to when we were under age 10 when we are together. Everyone thinking they are entitled.