I want pesach to be over… I can’t anymore

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Forum -> Yom Tov / Holidays -> Pesach

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amother

Mon, Apr 10 2023, 4:10 pm

I disliked the guests we had for first days. It was so many people and so much work for me. They were dh’s relatives. Some very annoying. I was worked to the bone. They ate up all my food. I thought I had enough for second days in the freezer. Now the freezer is empty.
Kids want to go on a trip. I have so much work to do. I have to cook all over again. More guests coming for second days. I just want a break. How will I get my house cleaned up and food cooked? I’m so tired. Why can’t Yom tov be nice for me too? I can’t wait till it’s over.

ectomorph

Mon, Apr 10 2023, 4:25 pm

You need to learn to say no. And prioritize your own needs.

Cook very very basic. Go on a trip you'll enjoy with the kids, not on one that you'll be miserable about. Either don't clean up or explain to your husband that you are overwhelmed, and you have time to either cook or clean up, and you choose to cook.

groisamomma

Mon, Apr 10 2023, 4:33 pm

I feel so bad. It's such a pity that in trying to make Y"T enjoyable for others very often women run themselves ragged and resent Y"T. That's so sad.

Realistically, can you go on a trip today with the family and cook through the night? Hire cleaning help for tomorrow afternoon?

Tell DH to remind you next year how you felt this year when the guests ask if they can come.

amother

Mon, Apr 10 2023, 4:36 pm

groisamomma wrote:

I am so tired. You want me to stay up all night cooking? I’ve already been cooking for a few hours but I’m no where near done.

amother

NeonPink

Mon, Apr 10 2023, 4:39 pm

I could have written this! Sending love

zaq

Mon, Apr 10 2023, 4:39 pm

WHERE ARE THE HUSBANDS IN THESE KINDS OF DISCUSSIONS???

(And the tween and teen children, for that matter.)

groisamomma

Mon, Apr 10 2023, 4:46 pm

zaq wrote:

WHERE ARE THE HUSBANDS IN THESE KINDS OF DISCUSSIONS???

(And the tween and teen children, for that matter.)

Entertaining said children so the mother can cook? Maybe OP doesn't have teens.

amother

Aconite

Mon, Apr 10 2023, 4:52 pm

I’ve been where you are now.
In past years. Worked to the bone & never ending cooking & eating

This year I (we) decided to have quiet for second days. No guests. No married kids & grandkids. Just us. Me, dh & one single at home.

First days we had everyone. Was a fest of togetherness & non stop prep and planning

Right now I think I’m fighting a virus & in bed.
No wonder …. We were in each others space for a week straight & germs were flying.

But I’m so grateful I listened to myself & remembered how hard it is to continuously be the host on Yom Tov with no break at all.

I know this doesn’t help you now but please be kind to yourself next Yom Tov. With no guilt.
& delegate with no underlying negativity.
I found my kids and in law kids want to help out. They just need to be asked.
I’m probably older than you but I’ve learned.

Simchas Yom Tov is for everyone. Including us mothers & grandmas

amother

Lemonlime

Mon, Apr 10 2023, 5:51 pm

I wish we had guests! I spend so much time and energy just cooking enough for my family, I wish I could also have the satisfaction of also having guests. Also my kids are going stir crazy with just us by all the meals.

amother

Moccasin

Mon, Apr 10 2023, 5:56 pm

I’m with you.
I see no joy in Yom tov for those who host and stay home.
Perhaps if I’d be wined and dined I’d enjoy!

amother

Impatiens

Mon, Apr 10 2023, 7:05 pm

I’m also feeling really burnt out. Actually these two days of chol hamoed have been way harder than the 3 day yt.
I’m hosting the whole yt straight and I love having company but it’s just a lot!!! I even have some cleaning help bh but it’s still a lot! And I have more company coming for shabbos. I keep trying to think of ways to treat myself.

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