S/o minhagim being taken too far.

amother

Petunia

Fri, Apr 14 2023, 11:49 am

amother Tanzanite wrote:

May have been more respectful to buy his own.

Thats a real thing.

It is a real thing, but the concern with napkins is starch that is kitniyos. So why would someone who can have kitniyos be concerned about the napkins in the first place?

This is what I mean when I question what the concern is for a chumra. A chumra is not preventing anything if there's no issue in the first place.

miami85

Fri, Apr 14 2023, 1:28 pm

Someone published an idea from I forget who at the moment but to the extent of "why do we use so much matza during pesach if the matza has even the SLIGHTEST problem, it's a lav koreis d'oraisa (in comparison to nidda which has similar restrictions and we put up a lot of fences) and so many of our chumros are dealing with kitnios--which one would think should be more lenient b/c we often say "safeik d'rabanan l'hakel"--and kitnios are d'rabanan.

The answer was "to show that since the s'ohr sh'beisa is like the yetzer hara, we don't run away from the yetzer hara, we learn how to manage our behavior better."

We see similar and parallel attitudes between litvishe and chassidish communities.

Chassidish tend to have more chumros which take them further away from and chashash of chametz, they also tend to stay more insulated to avoid outside influences at all costs. For them it works.

Litvishe tend to be more understanding of limitations such as like my mixer beaters fell on the floor an hour before yom tov as I was making something--I wasn't going to run to the store to buy something (I know there is a minhag of not using things that fall on the floor)--I washed it and continued with my recipe. Likewise I have to work in a secular environment so that I can afford life.
I went to college to be able to get my career.

Ema of 5

Fri, Apr 14 2023, 2:12 pm

amother Ghostwhite wrote:

these threads are repulsive.
between the lines, there is subtle disparagement of other Jew's minhagim, under the guise of practicing yiddishkeit the right way.

Actually, I think what’s between the lines is only what one reads between the lines.

Ema of 5

Fri, Apr 14 2023, 2:12 pm

amother Ghostwhite wrote:

these threads are repulsive.
between the lines, there is subtle disparagement of other Jew's minhagim, under the guise of practicing yiddishkeit the right way.

Also, if you don’t like the thread, you don’t need to open it. But why open a thread that you KNOW you won’t like, just to make a negative comment?

amother

Peony

Fri, Apr 14 2023, 2:21 pm

amother Camellia wrote:

you must not hang around other separdim, I know plenty who do not use any processed foods. They make everything from scratch. Interestingly, enough I find the very frum separdim, have very similar customs to the chasdim. Chummus in hebrew, is spelled the same way in hebrew as chametz, that is why we don't eat it. Rice is checked 3 times because the silos, sometimes can hold other grains, barley, wheat, etc.

As far as I know , there is one or 2 families in my Sephardic community that don't use processed foods. It could be I’m wrong, as I don't know everyone. I’m curious if all the people you know are all first cousins or the grandchildren.
They are the exception rather than the rule.

amother

Lavender

Fri, Apr 14 2023, 8:22 pm

amother Wheat wrote:

Please ask a rav about eating kitniyos. As far as I know, it is forbidden for all Ashkenazim except under extenuating circumstances.

Not helpful, especially since you have no idea what brought me to this point. Kitniyos is not chametz, which as far as I know is the main point of all this.

amother

Raspberry

Sun, Apr 16 2023, 8:04 pm

amother Clover wrote:

I know of a family that doesnt go to the grocery on pesach. They buy everything they need before that. Personally I would not be able to do that

We actually tried it this year. It was quite "liberating" and we managed with what we bought before yomtov.

What can't you manage without for a little over a week that can't be bought before?

amother

Sand

Sun, Apr 16 2023, 8:13 pm

amother Raspberry wrote:

We actually tried it this year. It was quite "liberating" and we managed with what we bought before yomtov.

What can't you manage without for a little over a week that can't be bought before?

Fruits/veggies
And also I don’t have enough fridge room for dairy that I need

Raizle

Sun, Apr 16 2023, 8:22 pm

scintilla wrote:

Who says it's the men? I'm so tired of this attitude. I love my Pesach minhagim, they seem restrictive on the outside and they do take extra work but they're my mesorah and I love them, AND we have delicious food the entire Pesach. No one is forcing it on me and I personally resent the insinuation that I don't value these minhagim myself and fully buy into the whole system. My kids are just fine, especially considering that I and everyone else I know in my community is not strict with kids until they're a little older.

Also, big difference between chumros and minhagim. Don't conflate the two.

And it's quite rude to call someone else's family/religious group mesorah 'insanity'. None of Judaism really makes sense when you think about it. Our ancestors didn't have time to bake their bread so now we don't eat anything with flour for 8 days?? Sounds pretty extreme!! We do it because it's our beautiful precious mesorah and if you don't like it, don't become Chabad or whatever group/family doesn't do plastic.

Basically just respect please.

Just to clarify, I'm Chabad, always have been, and I've never heard of the plastic thing. Be careful with your words while you are busy berating others about theirs

zaq

Sun, Apr 16 2023, 8:38 pm

[quote="amother Raspberry"/

What can't you manage without for a little over a week that can't be bought before?[/quote]

Possibly nothing, but SPACE, especially fridge and freezer space for perishables, can be the limiting factor in this equation. Not everyone has a fridge or freezer that can accommodate enough milk, eggs, meat, poultry, cheese, and yogurt (to say nothing of vegetables)for a whole family plus multiple guests for nine days. Yes, it is at least nine days, counting erev Pesach, plus in many cases the morning of Isru Chag if local markets close before one can get there after have havdalah.

amother

Lemon

Sun, Apr 16 2023, 8:46 pm

amother Sand wrote:

Fruits/veggies
And also I don’t have enough fridge room for dairy that I need

We don't go to the store on Pesach, buy everything (fruits/veg included) before, and manage just fine thanks to a very organized Google sheet.

amother

Marigold

Sun, Apr 16 2023, 9:52 pm

amother Lemon wrote:

We don't go to the store on Pesach, buy everything (fruits/veg included) before, and manage just fine thanks to a very organized Google sheet.

Don't be so superior. Your family may be half the size and your fridge twice the size of amother sand's.